Think this is a trigger, just need some validation.

Hi,
I am a long time TMSer and have recovered from multiple manifestions of it, back pain, GI, allergies, most recently female vulvadynia symptoms. I believe that our minds can cure our pain and believe most illnesses are rooted in psychological pain. I am looking for feedback. My last manifestation started when I was given antibiotics for an illness. They gave me Diflucan for what I thought was a yeast infection during it so I was treated for it but the pain never went away and got much worse. Multiple Drs and a trip to the ER and nothing found. They thought IC or Vulvadynia which I knew was not it. For a long time I thought it was hormones but then I got better so I ruled that out.

I found a specialist and she said it was nerve pain that was happening each time I got sick. That made me realize it was TMS and have been feeling great since I saw her and thought I conquered it.

I recently developed an ear infection and pneumonia which was devastating to me as I am generally very healthy but my female symptoms had gone so something new had to start I guess. They gave me antibiotics as I was pretty sick and I was VERY worried about taking them so I got my probiotics, yogurt, Diflucan ready in case. I seriously was scared to take them for fear of a relapse. Sure enough, I started getting twinges so I took the Diflucan as a precaution but have worked myself back into pain. So stupid I know but I just need some validation. I have every bit of evidence that tells me I am just bringing this on myself. My ear infection/pneumonia have improved but female nerve pain is back.
My question is that this happens every time I get sick now (which isn’t often) and I have come to fear antibiotics and that the pain will not go away (even though it’s gone away before) My problem is I know this and I know the trick my brain is playing on me. I just am having a hard time not worrying that it will be like last time.
Any feedback is greatly appreciated!

 

Assuming you have been checked out to know there are no new problems....this sure sounds like it could be a conditioned response doesn't it? You describe that your fear of having the symptoms came before the symptoms returned.... I do this to myself all the time!!

 

I wire, thank you!
You are absolutely right! I was worrying in the Dr.s office about it before I even had the medicine. When I got home, I was actually afraid of taking it. Now that I think back, I can remember maybe one time I got a yeast infection from an antibiotic but I think that’s what set everything in motion. 2 years ago when I had all the pain, I never really had a physical infection but had all the pain that can accompanies it, I panicked and the pain went out of control. I am not showing any physical signs now, just the nerve pain. This is very interesting. I think my body has recreated this pain due to my fear of what happened once a long time ago. Good stuff to think about, thanks for the input!

 

Dear Wiser now, the brain is very powerful. I would also think that it is conditioning. And if it went away the first time it will went away this time. It is as simple as that. But maybe you should also think about your body as a whole. Your immune system is weakened and this gives way for all sorts of reactions, like old pain reactions. I would try to strengthen the immune system. And maybe the next time you should consider if the Diflucan is really necessary. You could wait after you took the antibiotics.
What is really important in all that is not to act out of fear. Do things calmly and consider rationally what would be the best thing to do.

 

Thank you Time2be,
I had a big talk with myself last night and decided I was NOT going to let my fear run away with me. This morning my symptoms were greatly reduced which tells me right there I can reverse them and this is psychological. This is a conditioned response. You are correct that my body has been in a weakened state and I have been rather distraught about being sick since I pride myself on being healthy. Viewing the body as a whole instead of parts that are sick is a great idea along with not acting out of fear. I realize that just feeds into the whole process of being fixed on the pain. Thank you for your insight. I’m very confident I will be fine, just needed a reminder from this amazing group!

 

You are welcome! Sometimes we give good advice to others - maybe also a way of reminding ourselves.