Saoirse
Peer Supporter
Well I missed a few days over Christmas with working mad hours and exhaustion but my TMS mantra etc was still in my head. What I am proud of is a hard one as I am always seeing the things I do badly at or don't achieve as I should I have not felt proud a lots lately, well not in me anyway.
I am proud of a few things , that I did not stop this program when my bad pain seriously escalated and the symptoms just retaliated to me doing this course. I was initially terrified as I thought mt bolts in L4&L5 were in trouble but then a recognized my anxiety and IBS and knew it was TMS trying to impose its strategy on me of fear and worry. So I took a deep breath and kept going , when I take my break through meds I now say " I know I am ok but the pain is TMS mild O2 deprivation which causes the pain so I am taking the pain pills to allow me to work but I am on to you."Even now my bolts and back is painful and its jumping around in a secondary pain so I pat myself on the back and tell it I have it well and truly worried cause its bringing out the big guns and that makes me feel proud because I am doing this I am taking back control.
Doing the daily program is something I am proud of and the fact that I am seeing a therapists and facing my issues and childhood drama's and my mental anguish that a big deal . It so much easier to avoid in the short term and not go to the uncomfortable places that make you dark and small but it has to be done to go through it rather than hide. So I am proud ,of the support my husband gives me ; he makes the dinner so I can go up to do TMS on work nights and is so supportive and that makes such a difference .I have crap days when I struggle to move I am so stiff and sore but I just put one foot in front of the other ,its really hard and I am starting to make decisions for me ,whats best for me which is a whole new side of life I am trying out and I am learning to say no!! . This is the journey of a lifetime , or a journey that " a Lifeline"
I am proud of a few things , that I did not stop this program when my bad pain seriously escalated and the symptoms just retaliated to me doing this course. I was initially terrified as I thought mt bolts in L4&L5 were in trouble but then a recognized my anxiety and IBS and knew it was TMS trying to impose its strategy on me of fear and worry. So I took a deep breath and kept going , when I take my break through meds I now say " I know I am ok but the pain is TMS mild O2 deprivation which causes the pain so I am taking the pain pills to allow me to work but I am on to you."Even now my bolts and back is painful and its jumping around in a secondary pain so I pat myself on the back and tell it I have it well and truly worried cause its bringing out the big guns and that makes me feel proud because I am doing this I am taking back control.
Doing the daily program is something I am proud of and the fact that I am seeing a therapists and facing my issues and childhood drama's and my mental anguish that a big deal . It so much easier to avoid in the short term and not go to the uncomfortable places that make you dark and small but it has to be done to go through it rather than hide. So I am proud ,of the support my husband gives me ; he makes the dinner so I can go up to do TMS on work nights and is so supportive and that makes such a difference .I have crap days when I struggle to move I am so stiff and sore but I just put one foot in front of the other ,its really hard and I am starting to make decisions for me ,whats best for me which is a whole new side of life I am trying out and I am learning to say no!! . This is the journey of a lifetime , or a journey that " a Lifeline"
