Well girls, we made it through another "Breast Cancer Awareness" month. I've gotten so I hate October because of the paranoia it feeds in me that I'm going to get breast cancer. Now, don't get me wrong, I have dear friends that have died from breast cancer so I realize the seriousness of the disease. But I am furious at the industry it has become. I'm furious at the paranoia and "err on the side of caution" inva$ive procedures. I got frustrated with myself too the other day. I have a friend who is a photographer who specializes in documenting womens' battles with breast cancer. His pictures are poignant and very emotional. But I realized...I can't look at them anymore. In a nano-second, my little squirrel/TMS brain will insert me into that drama and the next thing I know, my stress level is up out of fear. My imagination is running pell-mell and I'm the one getting chemo dripped into my veins. STOP IT!!!!! I tell myself. No more! (It doesn't help that I was a nurse either.) The internet is wonderful but it opens up a world of pain and suffering that we were never asked to carry. (And especially over people we will never meet. Isn't enough that we have our own dramas with those with whom we're in relationship with?) And as TMS'ers, we're more prone to feeling these things passionately. I don't want any more "You're Gonna Die of This Disease Awareness Months!" But I DID decide that a TMS Awareness Month would be a very good idea. "Put down the pain killers...you're not going to die from that shoulder ache...Rage is your problem..." Ah, yes. I can see a whole ad campaign. Somehow though, I don't think the medical e$tablishment would go for it. And PS A little off topic. Today, I put my digital blood pressure monitor on Craigslist. Why? Because a doctor told me a few years ago that my "white coat hypertension" could lead to hypertension. So I bought into that narrative and was monitoring my BP at home. And I'm not kidding...just seeing that darn thing in the closet scared me. I would have to calm myself down before I took it because I'd give myself TMS elevated BPs. No more. Exercise and being aware of TMS is keeping my BP just fine, thank you very much.