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Therapist wants to put me under for repressed memories

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by Jules, Feb 1, 2018.

  1. Jules

    Jules Well known member

    I am going today, but I remember Dr. Sarno saying in his books that someone did not need to find out everything in the past in order to heal. I feel like after three years of therapy, and now seeing at TMS therapist, that just digging more into my past is just going to send the wrong signals to my brain. I need to let go of the fact that my brain needs to stop protecting me, but if I keep bringing up all of this memories that are painful, it just keeps sending me danger signals. For example, I’ve had more pain in the last couple weeks than I have in months, and yes it has been moving around a lot, which is good, but I swear I have uncovered nearly everything I’ve ever gone through in childhood and adulthood, until now I don’t know what else to do here.

    Right now I’m in limbo, waiting to see if I get a job that I interviewed for, so I have all this time to sit here and think and do the work. I feel like I have come along way, but is it really necessary to uncover all of the repressed memories? I have had a lot of anger and rage, and I have gone through processing those emotions. I’ve done a lot of forgiving and have a lot of knowledge now that I didn’t have before. I feel like now it’s just a matter of conditioning that I need to let go. I feel maybe I’m overdoing this, and maybe there are just some things that are better left alone. Any suggestions or thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
  2. Lainey

    Lainey Well known member

    Yes, you have been diligent in your struggle to free yourself of your pain. I don't know about the benefit of uncovering repressed memories. This is something I had not considered. Maybe someone on the site can address their experience with this.

    My thoughts are that it is not really necessary to uncover ALL of your traumas and bad memories. Maybe it is enough to send love to your inner, hurt child. Recognizing her, as you, yet giving her a metaphoric hug and tell her that she will be safe. I think it was balto who wrote in the forum a couple of days ago his 'translation' of one of Which That Hanh's texts. He quoted Thich That Hanh as saying that the cry we hear from deep in our hearts comes from the wounded child within. Healing this inner child’s pain is the key to transforming anger, sadness, and fear. You may want to look for this text and read it. I am currently doing body work with a practitioner of a method called Che Nei Tsang. The practice is supposed to help release ancestral issues that you may not even know you carry. I find it soothing, at the least.

    Anyway, good luck. Let us know how it goes.
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  3. Time2be

    Time2be Well known member

    Hi Jules, Maybe you simple need something that kind of compensates for the digging in your plast? Like doing something where you forget about it. Sounds lame, I know. But I learned that I took everything in therapy so serious that I almost stopped living. One need sometimes to put brackets around these traumas, you can not deal with it all day!
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  4. andy64tms

    andy64tms Well known member

    Hi Jules,

    Yes it can be a lot of painful work trying to uncover past nasty emotions. The more you uncover the more it hurts, I found this to be so and stopped when I was doing the emotion worksheets in Unlearn your pain. But I do think it is necessary to uncover one or two to understand the process and Dr Sarno’s message.

    It might be that past emotions put you where you are today, but it could be your personality or present stresses that’s causing your pain. Dr Sarno said in “Healing Backpain” that TMS is related to PAST, PRESENT or PERSONALITY or a combination of all three. It’s up to each of us to find this out for ourselves and I am sure you will prevail with this.

    Recently I have been interested in repressed emotions and have a current thread going. The four stories in my thread have really been helpful to me exposing how past emotions are hidden, always at work and how they form your personality and life’s problems. I found out that emotions can be repressed in an instant or form over years and years going back to child hood issues. The four stories highlight some of this.

    Remember the most important person is you, your internal self therapy is within you, not outside. Therapists should help direct and guide. You have given theraphy three years, perhaps break away and create your own healing program at your own pace.


    Good luck on the job
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2018
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  5. Time2be

    Time2be Well known member

    I think Andy has pointed to something important: maybe you should think of changing the therapist or going on yourself?
    Here my experience: I had severe TMS in 1994 and went to have psychotherapy. I thought it would be the best to do psychoanalysis - it's the most intellectual form of therapy and anyway I wanted to know more about it. I had 2 years with one psychoanalyst and then because I moved to another town 6 years with another. The one I saw 6 years had be in for the talking cure three times a week!! Imagine what this cost! In a way it helped. But only in way. The one I was seeing for 6 years was trained in psychosomatics and her point was that I didn't show aggression. Did I learn to show aggression in this psychotherapy? No, I didn't. From my experience pure psychoanalysis is not helpful. When I moved another time, some time later I saw a psychotherapist because of a nasty divorce. At that time I had no TMS symptoms - at least nothing that bothered me. I see this psychotherapist now very three months. What has changed? This time I understood that I actually have to change my life, my attitude. It is not enough to analyze and to understand. I am pretty good at analyzing behavior, mine and others. I was so good in understanding and analyzing my ex-husband that I forgot to take care about me. Just before I was so wrecked that I literally didn't feel anything anymore I left my ex-husband. A decision that came from my very heart and I never have regret this, not for a second.
    Now I know that these 6 years in psychoanalysis stabilized a bad relationship - oh, all this understanding!! I didn't break out. Do I blame the psychoanalyst for this? A bit, yes.
    Now, if you Jules, feel that you are not getting anywhere with all this analyzing, you might need to look at how you treat all this knowledge you have gained. If it doesn't have consequences then it is in a way futile. It's hard, I know.

    Doing it yourself has the advantage that you really feel the responsibility. It's you who can make the change!
  6. Jules

    Jules Well known member

    Thank you everyone for your insights. That has helped. I did end up going to therapy and going down in the basement, so to speak. I can tell this is going to be very emotional, but it may also be very freeing. I prayed about it and feel this is something I need to do. It’s too soothe the inner-child and help her heal from traumatic events that has been surfacing with therapy.

    I’m not gonna go gangbusters on it though, will only probably do it a handful of times. Since childhood abuse and abandonment is a major cause of TMS, I feel like I have to address it before I can fully heal. Not that my parents abused me, but a foster parent could have.

    I’ll keep everyone up to date on how I progress though.
    andy64tms likes this.
  7. andy64tms

    andy64tms Well known member

    Hi Jules,

    I have never had any sort of psychological therapy, coming from a background where it would be considered a weakness. I joined the TMS Help forum in 2012 realizing I was missing out on something. I was fortunate to stumble across the website after 12 years after my back recovery in 2000. As with anything in life I had to dig for the help I needed. There was huge controversy with suggestions coming from all directions; there were also arguments and many off topic distractions. Through all this I was able to pick and choose what I needed. I believe we all have an internal instinct for what we need, and have to learn when to oppose the TMS creature inside. After all trial and error is really what makes progress inevitable.

    I know that some therapies like ISTDP and CTB can often make you uncomfortable, as the therapist digs for the things you “dare not say”. I refer to Alan Gordon’s famous pod interview with Dustin that actually made me very uncomfortable just listening to it. The benefit for myself was it helped me think the “things I dare not say” about my mother and siblings. It happened to be a very timely bubble of help. Thank you Alan. http://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/TMS_Webinars (Ref July 12th 2012

    I see you have decided on therapy which is really great because it’s your choice in your healing program, let’s compare therapies for sake of argument.

    If in the future you were to have a session with a therapist the disadvantages could be you have to get ready wash and make up, you have to drive, and you may have to wait in a waiting room reading magazines. You eventually get to see the therapist. Any other person can be a distraction to your line of thinking even a therapist. I met a phyciatrist once that was so aggressive and would not let me speak; I wondered how he manages his patients, I realized after he told me he was a marriage counselor that he needed to be aggressive when dealing with bully husbands.

    In the comfort of your own home look at what websites, books and Alan’s program offer. I have not done his program I have to admit, but your option could be to scan through to a title that suits you at any given moment. Further to this you can review all the thoughts and comments from others, group therapy, you are not alone an added benefit.

    Please understand I am not against therapy, I have seen the wonderful caring work they do on these websites for free. In this day and age that’s a blessing.
    Lainey likes this.
  8. Jules

    Jules Well known member

    This is the first time I have sought out a TMS therapist, and she does it over Skype. My current counselor has been invaluable, helping me process a lot or trauma, as well as forgive. I have read pretty much everything on TMS, (nearly 10 books on the subject) and did Alan’s free program here, as well as Dr. Schubiner’s. My trauma goes way back to birth, so I figured I wouldn’t be a quick healer, but there will come a time when I just need to implement all I’ve learned, and let this go. I feel not quite ready to do that, so seeing if this intense therapy does the trick. If after a bit, it doesn’t, I will know that wasn’t the panacea for healing.

    I could be smoking rope, but I have to give it an earnest effort. ;) :)
  9. healingfromchronicpain

    healingfromchronicpain Well known member

    This topic is near and dear to my heart. I had a repressed memory surface when I was undergoing mind-based myofascial release (MFR) bodywork. I wasn’t digging for it because I had absolutely no clue it was there. In fact, I truly thought I had had the perfect childhood.

    But then at age 40 I ruptured a disc in my neck (by rolling over in my sleep) which started years of debilitating pain. And at age 42, after trying all the traditional stuff to try to heal my neck, I went for a two-week intensive of mindbody bodywork and the night before my last day I had a dream that brought my memory back. I was totally blown away! (And by the way, I did get confirmation from the perpetrator that what I had remembered had indeed happened—3 decades earlier.) Then after my MFR treatments on my last day of bodywork, my terriblly debilitating pain dropped dramatically.

    So for me, having the memory surface was a huge factor in my healing. I’ve still been stuck with lower levels of chronic pain that I can’t seem to let go of, and I don’t know if it’s still the past stuff, present, or personality stuff. So my journey continues.

    But nonetheless, after I recovered my repressed memory (in 2007), I went to psychotherapy for a while. And I’ve also done EMDR and somatic experiencing (SE). The talk therapy may have helped a little with dealing with the newfound knowledge about myself, but it wasn’t helping reduce my ongoing pain. The other things (JFB-MFR, which I continued with, and the EMDR and the SE) have helped to some degree, but I’m still not pain free.

    Anyway, I guess my point is, I really needed to face my repressed memory to begin to heal. But then after years of still trying to clear it out, lots of talking didn’t really work. But the things that tapped into how my body was holding onto the trauma (eg MFR, EMDR, SE) helped more than just talking for me.

    And I’ve found it very difficult to do this work on my own. It’s like purposely jumping into a fire. It’s just not something you want to do. My natural self-preservation instincts keep me from jumping into fires (be they literal or figurative ones). I seem to only be able to go so deep on my own. My body automatically rejects the idea of going to scary places.

    So I don’t know if I’m being of any help, but I guess I’d day, go with your gut and see if you can “go there” with the help of others if needed and allow yourself to feel all the terrible feelings. It’s not fun or easy work, but I do believe it’s necessary to some degree. I’ve found that when I feel the terrible feelings and emotions (anger, fear, shame are the big ones), that’s when I begin to release them.

    I’m happy to chat more about any of this. You can also see my personal website where I describe my journey (http://www.healingfromchronicpain.com/ (Healing from Chronic Myofascial Pain--Support for chronic pain sufferers: Defying Gravity--An Athlete's Journey of Healing from Chronic Myofascial Pain)).

    Good luck!!

    Last edited: Feb 3, 2018
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  10. andy64tms

    andy64tms Well known member

    Hi Healing from chronic pain,

    I remember you from the other forum, and your fantastic website and detailed story. I have been over here for several months.
  11. healingfromchronicpain

    healingfromchronicpain Well known member

    Hi! :) I pop in and out, depending on what else is going on or how I’m feeling. I haven’t checked the other site lately.
    andy64tms likes this.

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