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The quest for a TMS Holy Grail of healing

Diana-M

Diana-M

Beloved Grand Eagle
I think it’s futile and crazy-making to think there is one perfect way to heal from TMS, and if you can just find it, you will be healed.

There are probably as many ways to heal from TMS as there are ways to make money. Just because one person gets rich one way does that mean you will?

Everybody who heals from TMS somewhat swears by their way. And it’s tempting to get on their bandwagon.

Even the Sarno method doesn’t work the same way for everybody. It doesn’t even work the same way every time for the same person.

I’ve had TMS about 15 times. Most of those I did not know about TMS or Sarno. They went away by ignoring them over long periods of time. Once I used meditation to heal anxiety. And another time I had a book healing from Sarno.

This TMS I have now is going on four years for me. I have tried a LOT of things so far. I keep finding methods and trying them and hoping they will be the magic one. But instead, I get a little nugget from that method, and I add it to my life. Steadily my life is improving, even though my symptoms are lingering. The scaffolding of my life is becoming very strong.

I have some friends, in particular, on this forum who have overcome a great deal. I admire them very much for their courage. Their advice is to carry on with life in small increments and don’t give up. Over time this has worked for them, and it still is working for them—to heal them almost completely. But they still work at it. I also have another who can do Sarno exploration like a wizard, and knock out symptoms on contact.

I’ve had a few chances to push myself and do something that feels impossible with my symptoms and it always delivers a big high for me and a temporary dip in symptoms—but not a cure. It’s also followed by a let-down afterwards.

I think I’ll keep going for some of these highs, now and then. And I also think I will go with the daily baby steps.

I recently discovered Dan Ratner‘s method called Crushing Doubt. He guarantees if you figure out what’s making you angry and what’s making you doubt, your TMS will instantly go away. Wow, is this tempting! But if I fail, I’ll be so frustrated. What if I’m one of those who can’t heal like this? (He claims that’s just a sign of my doubt and when I overcome it, I’ll heal.) This feels like a loop to me that I’m not ready to explore. It feels like a way to abuse myself and criticize myself for failure. But I do like many things he teaches about power being a key. I think this is the nugget I will keep from him.

There is so much more I could say about this topic. I wonder what you all think?
 
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Well said, @Diana-M!
I love hearing about others' experiences and learning about all of the different perspectives of the "experts," so I do a lot of exploring that — not necessarily because I will then take it as the gospel, but because it will give me more to explore.

Another reason why I am loving this forum and all of the different perspectives and support for others to explore their path. It's fun to experiment with different things and try them for myself.

Keep collecting the nuggets — the pieces are coming together personalized just for you, by you.
Your healing is happening!
 
I think that struggling to find “the way” and reading and researching about every possible way is a distraction from doing “the work” and just living life.
Find a few things, work on them for an hour a day max and then stop thinking about and obsessing about TMS - symptoms, “how” to heal, any of that -don’t go there. Methods you use can change and evolve, that’s fine. Finding out you need to do some work in other areas of life which directly impact TMS is fine too: anxiety, interpersonal skills, triggers… max, an hour a day.
We can obsess about symptoms, obsess about healing, obsess about the nitty gritty of methods but the obsession is all a diversion from healing and living life in any way outside of TMS.
 
For me, healing is less about uncovering repressed emotions and more about making lifestyle changes to maximise psychological wellbeing. It is now roundly accepted by thinkers and tinkerers of many types that we're not evolved for modern life. Our brains are not optimised for life in a chair, scrolling tik-tok and squeezing into subway carriages. We're evolved to get our dopamine hits from hard but meaningful work, from child-rearing and from idle chatter with friends.

I believe the TMS doctors are right in supposing that the brain is creating the pain, fatigue and anxiety, but sometimes I think the TMS sphere fails to appreciate that the symptoms are being created by a broken brain; a brain worn down by the impositions of modernity.

The very least any TMSer can do to help themelves is:

- Exercise and move more
- Spend time in nature (even the local park)
- Give up caffeine and alcohol completely
- Go easy on sugar
- Minimise screen time
- Spend more time with family and friends
- Prioritise productive hobbies (creating, reading, studying etc.)

...and perhaps slightly more contentiously...

- Embrace religion/spirituality. Research has found those of faith to be psychologically healthier. Even an atheistic reverence for nature would be preferable to cold hard nihilism, to the extent one can choose what to believe.
- Find a better half. Loneliness is a killer.
- Don't pursue happiness and pleasure for happiness' sake. Desire will eat you up. Pursue improvement and happiness will naturally follow.
 
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First you have to believe you have TMS
You have to lose the fear.
Get out of the mode of victimhood.
Don't stay stuck in the past or in past relationships that don't work.
Get physical. Move.
Let go of the idea that you are a result of your trauma. Its unproductive. Fill your present with ideas of who you want to be now. Take a snapshot of the new person, imprint it in your brain & make it so alive that you will want to work towards that.
Change!


Mala
 
Mala said:
You have to lose the fear.
Click to expand...

I agree with all your propositions. The only one I'd like to investigate is this one about fear.

I think fear is kind of a taboo word in the TMS world, mostly because of what Sarno (and others) said about being the fuel for the chronic loop. At the same time, most healing methods that I've seen talk about some form of allowing the body sensations. Some of them, like Gordon's somatic tracking, even tell you to do that in order to lose fear itself.

But here's the catch, fear is a lot of times a repressed sensation. People try to power through fear (which is good, you shouldn't let fear paralize you) but don't process the sensation, just try to expel it. Peter Levine says fear is a body sensation, first and foremost. His method to overcome it is similar to DARE's approach with anxiety (recognise the sensation and let it be) but he expands with a mindfulness like attitude of observing the body sensations.

I like this view because honestly I don't think there's escape from fear. But I do think we're capable of using it to help with the healing.

Here's his approach:

 
When I dropped the pressure on myself to recover, started having more fun, engaging with people, doing new things, listening to my body, and not being afraid of feeling fear, anger, sadness, even happiness, is when a big shift occurred. Also, not thinking so much about TMS, analyzing/ruminating (tell myself stop and re-direct). Less pressure is freeing. It was tough at first because I'm a perfectionist, we all are. Try to be present in the moment as much as you can - this helped me notice my feelings and learn what sneaky ways I was using to repress! We begin to understand ourselves more deeply when we stay in the present moment.

TMS may act up every now and then for the rest of my life, but I don't care! As long as I'm having fun, enjoying life, I know it's temporary and it will go away. It always does.
 
An appropriate amount of fear is still essential for survival. Imagine if drivers got onto the interstate and drove 70mph with a complete lack of fear?! Yeah, we don't want that.

We DO need to adapt our fear response to react appropriately with the realities of modern life, and train our brains to disengage the fear response from the many physically non-dangerous stressors with which we are bombarded 24/7. And, as @Cactusflower always reminds us, we must greatly reduce fear's cousin, anxiety, for all the same reasons. It is doing us a huge disservice to be so constantly anxious about so many intangible, anticipatory, and even imaginary stressors.
 
@feduccini
“Peter Levine says fear is a body sensation, first and foremost. His method to overcome it is similar to DARE's approach with anxiety (recognise the sensation and let it be) but he expands with a mindfulnesslike attitude of observing the body sensations.”

I really liked the video too! Thank you! I ruminated so much over the news and the pandemic—my fears were so great— that I think I locked myself into a pattern of fear that actually still affects me. Many of the symptoms I have right now the really hard ones came after I had Covid. I was so so afraid of Covid because of all the news.

I like what Dr. Levine said about unlocking this. I’m going to apply what he said. I have also associated with it with certain people that really hurt me and if I even think of them, I start to get these body sensations. This is a great idea I’ve never thought of— Sort of like somatic tracking for fear. And also kind of like Claire Weekes, Floating through the fear.
 
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Thomas M. Shields said:
For me, healing is less about uncovering repressed emotions and more about making lifestyle changes to maximise psychological wellbeing.
Click to expand...
Same here. I did the same thing.

I implemented a daily routine. Routine comes from French, it means that you are creating a path/route using your machete to cut the grass and bushes in front of you so you can walk easily.

I started small, more than 10 years ago. Daily meditation (for calming/cleaning the mind); some form of exercise; cooking daily and eating healthy; cleaning something around the house daily; growing a tiny garden; feeding the birds/hummingbirds and squirrels; working on my hobbies (some from the childhood) etc.

I had this sort of routine in the past but at a certain point in time, I got immersed too much into internet/screens. I guess I didn't realize how dark this habit can be. And unhealthy for the mind/body/soul.

I do my best to spend max 2 hours/day now online/on screens. And some of it is just listening to music.
 
Sita said:
Same here. I did the same thing.

I implemented a daily routine. Routine comes from French, it means that you are creating a path/route using your machete to cut the grass and bushes in front of you so you can walk easily.

I started small, more than 10 years ago. Daily meditation (for calming/cleaning the mind); some form of exercise; cooking daily and eating healthy; cleaning something around the house daily; growing a tiny garden; feeding the birds/hummingbirds and squirrels; working on my hobbies (some from the childhood) etc.

I had this sort of routine in the past but at a certain point in time, I got immersed too much into internet/screens. I guess I didn't realize how dark this habit can be. And unhealthy for the mind/body/soul.

I do my best to spend max 2 hours/day now online/on screens. And some of it is just listening to music.
Click to expand...
Sita, What a beautiful life! ❤️ Now that I’m retired, I think I’m going to be able to have your same life. I never thought I would be this blessed. And I definitely didn’t think it would happen now. But, this is a gift from my TMS. I love routines and I like what you are doing with your life. You’re always so calm and peaceful—and it’s really nice. :)
 
Diana-M said:
Sita, What a beautiful life! ❤️ Now that I’m retired, I think I’m going to be able to have your same life. I never thought I would be this blessed. And I definitely didn’t think it would happen now. But, this is a gift from my TMS. I love routines and I like what you are doing with your life. You’re always so calm and peaceful—and it’s really nice. :)
Click to expand...
I do have challenges, I just don't mention them. I try to concentrate on the positives. But you're right. Being forced to retire and to go within and introspect/change for the better is a blessing indeed. It depends how you look at it, of course.

As Jan says in her profile's picture: "What else can we do?" :)
 
@Diana-M, I confess I gave up on Crushing Doubt last night. It was just not speaking to me. He started rambling in the power column chapter and he lost me. I did like the first part of the book where he was really emphasizing how much pain doesn't make sense in so many situations.
 
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