Pietro Carloni
Peer Supporter
The pain in these two weeks has changed, my approach has changed with regard to the consideration of pain.
I explain myself better: the pain of sciatica that has oppressed me in the last eight months has ceased to have a centrality in my life, not that it has disappeared, it's just that I decided that I want to do all those things that were precluded to me during this period , like going to work on foot, putting dishes in the dishwasher, sitting down to write, doing physical activity and, above all, picking up my three month old son.
I started running for two weeks, three / four times a week. After the last run (15 minutes) in the night I had a terrible backache that I have been carrying for five days and this brought me back to despair, I was immediately assailed by negative thoughts such as "maybe I exaggerated" "my paraverrebral musculature is hypotonic " maybe I have a dorsal hernia. In short, this new pain was enough to have more than one doubt about my healing process.
But if I stop to think about what I feel, if I try to live my emotional moments to the maximum, the pain decreases until it disappears, and this gives me hope. my certainties with respect to the diagnosis at this point I think they are strong, but not so much to totally condition my unconscious, which clings to the uncertainty to build new pains and bring me back to the usual logic, habit and the pattern of fears that it has been built in the last years of life.
How can you be so convinced? How do we keep in touch with ourselves 24 hours after all this time? I believe these are the challenges I am called to face and I believe that the pain will remain with me until there is an effective step forward in this sense
I explain myself better: the pain of sciatica that has oppressed me in the last eight months has ceased to have a centrality in my life, not that it has disappeared, it's just that I decided that I want to do all those things that were precluded to me during this period , like going to work on foot, putting dishes in the dishwasher, sitting down to write, doing physical activity and, above all, picking up my three month old son.
I started running for two weeks, three / four times a week. After the last run (15 minutes) in the night I had a terrible backache that I have been carrying for five days and this brought me back to despair, I was immediately assailed by negative thoughts such as "maybe I exaggerated" "my paraverrebral musculature is hypotonic " maybe I have a dorsal hernia. In short, this new pain was enough to have more than one doubt about my healing process.
But if I stop to think about what I feel, if I try to live my emotional moments to the maximum, the pain decreases until it disappears, and this gives me hope. my certainties with respect to the diagnosis at this point I think they are strong, but not so much to totally condition my unconscious, which clings to the uncertainty to build new pains and bring me back to the usual logic, habit and the pattern of fears that it has been built in the last years of life.
How can you be so convinced? How do we keep in touch with ourselves 24 hours after all this time? I believe these are the challenges I am called to face and I believe that the pain will remain with me until there is an effective step forward in this sense
