Day 41 Self Care Day Doing something that you enjoy and that relaxes you. This is what relaxes me, the writing. I become very calm and relaxed when I am writing. I love to feel my feelings and emotions. That's my life. When I was 3 I blocked my emotions and feelings and I became like a zombie. At 40 I started emotional bodywork and I broke down the fort I had build around me. I am not afraid of any emotion, I love to feel. Day 42 The End What have I learned about myself during this program? That my focus was totaly wrong. My focus was 100% at my pain, that's why the pain became worse. When my focus is on the pain, I feel myself as a victim, a victim of the pain. Then I play the role of the cripple, while there is nothing wrong with me. I found the connection between body and mind. At 40 I started bodywork that reduced the pain often. But I always was poking into the pain. At 50 I did mindwork, it was the other way around. It worked also but I was searching for the combination of the two. I have pain for 45 years now, I have done a lot, the pain didn't go away. Then I found TMS WIKI............WOW This is the last day of this program. I continue because I relax during writing which reduce my pain. (it is still there) But I also continue because I'm not sure where my pain is coming from. I still don't know what the real connection is between my personality and the pain. I'm going to figure this out at ease. I am going to write a lot, in many different ways. I think after this I do Alan Gordon's TMS Recovery Program. First I take a week off. I have to work a lot this week (it is carnival) and next weekend I have a course. It's a course called; The Journey of the Soul. I thank you all for your support, posts and replies, advices, insights. The last days I feel wonderful, I don't know the cause, but who cares. Wish you all the best. With love, Rozie.