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Tailbone pain

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Roxygirl577, Jul 30, 2016.

  1. Roxygirl577

    Roxygirl577 Peer Supporter

    Hi all, new to this forum, but definitely not to tms. I believe I have suffered from it since I was a young child. Almost ten years ago I saw a tms specialist in Seattle, WA that said he was sure I had it, especially since no structural problems were ever found. Back then I actually did heal my severe neck and back pain through Sarno's work which saved my life, although I don't believe I healed myself completely since I have had pain in other places since, as well as anxiety and depression...but I was content to not have the severe pain anymore.

    Fast forward to now, I have pretty much hit rock bottom again, at a still young age of 30. Many tragedies have happened to me in the past five years; my mom committed suicide and I found her, many job losses, physical and emotional abuse by my ex husband, four major surgeries, and I lost my child last April. My pain has come back with a vengeance, If I listed all of my pains it would fill up a whole page. I would say right now my worst is facial pain (suffered from bell's palsy years ago, chronic pain and seizures in my face since) and also lower back and tailbone pain.
    I worry a lot about my posture and how it affects my body. I know that Sarno has stated that posture does not cause pain and our bodies are strong, but it is still hard for me to not give into the conditioning. My tailbone pain really started happening after months of sitting on the floor, I gave up furniture because anything soft hurt my lower back. For awhile that helped my lower back, but I always sat right on my tailbone, leaning back against the wall, while holding my knees. One day a friend saw me do this and said, wow your butt must hurt from that position. I never had thought about it and long behold, a week or so later my tailbone started hurting anytime I sat like that, and now it hurts all the time. That was the most comfortable position for me to sit in and now I'm afraid to sit anywhere. How do we get better when it seems as if the whole world is telling us almost everything we do is wrong and will cause pain? It's draining.

    Can we really sit, stand, walk, etc.. how we want ... and know that our bodies will be strong enough for it?
  2. hecate105

    hecate105 Well known member

    Yes, we can. I believed all the painmongers and Drs and ended up using a wheelchair and watching my life drift away.... (from age 26 ) after 22 years i found Sarno's books and this forum and tmswiki. Within 2 years i was 95% cured and now over 3 years later I am working as a landscape gardener and about to cycle across Wales, Uk with tent etc...
    It is our mind that causes this - our mind that believes other people (look at what you said about your tail pain...)
    It is also our mind and looking at our psychological and emotional triggers that will get us out of it again, so we can enjoy a pain-free life!
    It is not surprising that you are in pain - look at all the stuff that has happened. You either need to find a good tms-friendly therapist or do it yourself, but you need to deal with all that trauma and then you can be free.
    It is like our mind thinks ' hey, its too much sadness/anger/grief - i 'll just wallow around in pain instead and then i can just bury it all and never deal with it.' But - IT never goes away, we do need to deal with it - however that may be. Then we can learn to live with the very human griefs and hurts that most of us go thru - but still enjoy life and live pain free.
    All these horrendous experiences teach us that our life - and health - is a very precious thing - we need to value and use it to good advantage!
    MWsunin12, donavanf and intense50 like this.
  3. intense50

    intense50 Well known member

    Hecate105 very well said. The rain barrel can hold only so much water.
  4. Roxygirl577

    Roxygirl577 Peer Supporter

    Thank you for your response, being on this forum is a breath of fresh air. There is so much negativity everywhere else, it's so nice to come here and feel hope again
  5. TimmyH

    TimmyH Peer Supporter

    Sounds like you have had a pretty rough run roxy. I sympathize with your struggles and understand that you must have been through a lot. I too have struggled with pelvic pain in the form of pudendal neuralgia. I have managed to 90 percent rid myself of this by treating it as tms. Oddly enough throughout the whole time of my pudendal symptoms I didn't have any tail bone pain. It actually was the only way I could sit by sitting on my tail bone to take the pressure off the rest of the pelvis. But after a few months of doing the tms work the pudendal pain started to subside then my tail bone started to hurt. Was then difficult to sit on it. The pain felt so different to my pudendal pain. It felt like I had bruised my tail bone. Standing up from sitting was especially hard. At first I had doubts as to whether this was tms, but the timing of it with my other symptoms improving was too coincidental so I decided to treat that as tms as well. After a month that pain faded to the point to where I barely notice it.

    It is a well known that pelvic pain is related to stress. There is of course acute pelvic pain like appendicitis, ovarian pathology, diverticulitis, hernias and infection. But the overwhelming majority of pelvic pain especially in women is tms. Coccydynia is a ridiculous diagnosis. The medical community does not know what causes it, or what the mechanism is that produces your pain. It is always tms. Even people that have a fall on the tail bone after the normal healing time have no excuse to have continued pain. Sarno does mention coccydynia in the mindbody prescription.

    You don't have any reason physically to have tail bone pain. The human body is extremely strong. Bad posture does not cause pain. You see hunched over old ladies and men all the time. Their back is like a question mark, yet they have no pain. Sure bad posture has trained there muscles into this abnormal position so they are hunched over but it doesn't cause pain. What causes pain is your belief that bad posture is painful and that the human body is fragile. When your mind believes something like a certain position causes pain, everytime you are in this position you will get pain. This is why you got pain after your friend suggested that your posture was harmful. Sit how you want with the knowledge that your posture is not harming you. I know when you sit your tail bone hurts, but it's your mind creating the pain. Send messages back when you get the pain. Tell yourself humans have been sitting on hard surfaces without cushions or recliners for thousands of years. If this was harmful I don't think we would have made it as a species. After a while of telling yourself that the pain is false information it begins to fade because your mind believes it. Saying it over and over is the key.

    I hope this helps you.

    Pain when it is false information is not to be feared.
    Jason32 likes this.
  6. Roxygirl577

    Roxygirl577 Peer Supporter

    Wow, thank you Timmy. Your story really helped me a lot, I am so glad to hear that you are feeling so much better. I remember years ago, when I suffered so bad from neck and upper back pain, I would read about others' low back/pelvis pain, and thinking to myself, how much I wish I could trade them. You never really know how painful something can be until you experience it.

    You are so right about posture and pain, I try to remind myself of this all the time, but then my doubts come creepin' in, telling me that mine is different because of X, Y. Funnily enough, I actually do have a major physical abnormality. My jaw started fusing together at 16 years old, it progressively got worse until I could only open it 4mm, I was finally fortunate enough to find a university hospital willing to do a total jaw reconstruction for me, free of charge, it was a miracle. I can now open 15-20 mm, but my bite is way off, also because of this, i cannot have my back molars worked on because no dentist can get in far enough, I also cannot brush that far back. Any medical professional would tell you that all of the above would cause anyone pain and discomfort, but I have never had an ounce of pain in my jaw or teeth. Never, not even after my surgery. You would think that this sort of experience would prove to me that jsut because something is 'structurally' wrong, doesn't lead to pain. But again, my mind tells me "oh your neck is different, your back is different, you sit on your tailbone, not your jaw, so of course it will be in pain, bla bla"
    I try to ignore it, but it's powerful. I always fear that if I sit a certain way, or move my back a certain way, I will push something out of alignment, or dislocate it. If I sit on my tailbone long enough, it will push it the wrong way and will cause even more pain and I won't be able to sit for the rest of my life. That usually ends up in a panic attack, or I just fall asleep from being so drained. When I was 14, heavily involved with sports, I went to the chiropractor, only because my family was going and we got a discount for all of us. He took my x-rays, and told me that my posture was horrible and my hips were 2 inches off, and if I didn't quit sports right away I would become paralyzed by the time I was 30...no joke, his exact words. I did quit soon after and was terrified of my posture ever since. Well I just turned 30 last Oct and fortunately I am not paralyzed...knock on wood, lol.

    Thank you so much again for the responses, it does help so much to know this is a battle that has a light at the end of the tunnel.
  7. Roxygirl577

    Roxygirl577 Peer Supporter

    I'm one week into journaling and the Structured Program, but it is so hard to stop the conditioning. I made the mistake, before journaling, of doing some research on the tailbone. Apparently it's pretty common to have a tailbone that 'sticks out' and most of the people talking about it online, talked about how they couldn't sit and it always caused them pain. I started noticing that I can also feel mine, especially when sitting, pretty much in any position..it makes it so hard to stop the conditioning of being afraid to sit, because I feel like, well maybe with tms work the pain might subside, but if I always feel it, how will I not correlate that with pain/pressure? It's so hard for my mind to accept that if I'm sitting on this ball, it won't cause me pain or at least extreme discomfort.
  8. TimmyH

    TimmyH Peer Supporter

    Firstly the only research I would do for your condition is tms research. Definitely don't go in any other chat rooms either except this one. I have been on other chatrooms for people with pudendal neuralgia and it was scary. These other chat rooms are full of people that havnt gotten better. This chatroom however is full of people that are either getting better or are better. Which one do you think is approaching their pain in the correct way.

    The second thing is that you have been sitting for decades without pain with the same tail bone. Even a matter of weeks ago you were pain free in your tail bone till your friend suggested to you that your tail bone might hurt. You havnt had any trauma. The only thing that has happened is that your worrying about it. Don't be silly and listen to that stupid voice of doubt. Look at the evidence and join the people that are healing, not the ones that are stuck writing about they're pain on. Other chat rooms.

    You've got this.
    Jason32 and riverrat like this.
  9. Roxygirl577

    Roxygirl577 Peer Supporter

    Thank you Timmy.
    I know I have a problem with the 'researching'. I have always been one to google for hours on every little thing that was bothering me, since I was very young, I think it's part of my anxiety, I always hope I'll find others that will say "oh yeah, I have that structural problem, but it doesn't bother me"...but like my husband always reminds me, why would anyone go on their internet to write about something that doesn't bother them, because then it wouldn't be on their mind.
    I will definitely only be on here from now on, and other TMS help sites.
    I think the hardest part for me is accepting when Sarno says our bodies are strong. I grew up watching everyone in my family get sick and die at a very young age (my parents had me when they were quite old). When most children were being picked up by their aunts and uncles, being swung around. I was watching them get osteoporosis, cancer, kidney/liver failure, in hospital beds and every move they made was agonizing for them, even including my dad and my brother. I watched my mom slowly lose her mind and sanity. So I never saw the human body as strong, I saw the body and mind as weak and fragile. It turned me into a perfectionist that made sure I did whatever I could to preserve every part of me...ironically, now I'm starting to lose my mind and causing stress related illnesses because of it.
    I hope soon I will be able to afford some counseling, preferably with someone knowledgeable on TMS. For now I will continue to do the work. Thank you again for the kind words and motivation.
    Jason32 and readytoheal like this.
  10. intense50

    intense50 Well known member

    I had it. If there is no fracture....... see your doc... believe me tail bone pain is 100% tms. Healing is a process and you are in the middle of it.
    I do whatever I want now and run between 5 to 10 k everyday. You are healing , you just don't know it yet. 1 day at a time.
    donavanf and TimmyH like this.
  11. nelle

    nelle Peer Supporter

    i had pain in my tail bone for two and a half years really bad , i didnt sit down at all for six months !!!. I either stood up in trainers or lied down on a futon .When your in alot of pain suggestion is very powerful. But then you limit your life and the fear gets worse . There is always hope!!!!!!!!!! . I never thought i would be free from pain there , but i am . I have no pain there !. You sound like you are coping with a lot of extremely emotionally painful experiences. Be kind to your self . It tested my mind to the edge , and the english mental health system traumatised me further. If you can have good supportive therapy , that sounds like it could be good. Funny what you said about you going on google i use too and my partner would say the same as your husband did to you .

    love to you Roxy , you sound very brave
  12. riverrat

    riverrat Well known member

    Timmy h
    Every time I see a reply you give to people on here, you give me more hope through the way you write such supportive comments. Thank you for being here!

    I had very painful tailbone pain this year with sitting. It came along with other pelvic pain that was torturous in the pudendal nerve area. I am still new to finally fully accepting tms and stopping all physical treatments and research. I stopped physical therapy early July and accepted and know now it's my stress of the past few years and strong emotions from trauma. I am a big work in progress still sorting through and understanding my hidden feelings, but leaving physical therapy and other physical modalities and accepting tms knowing I can be pain free through the stories of so many others has helped my so much more than anything else physically that I ever did! I'm keeping it simple knowing I can heal trusting in others success stories. My tailbone pain is gone! I can sit for a couple hours now without the tailbone doughnut cushion because the tailbone pain is just not there. I just stopped worrying about sitting. I wish I could say that the other pudendal or pelvic pain is gone too but it's improving and no more tailbone pain is definitely a start. I am working through a lot of difficult family issues so I know it's a process, but to be done with the tailbone cushion and sit on my tailbone is a great sign that the pudendal pain will leave too! If my tailbone pain left so can yours! You will get there. The more we keep life and concerns over our pain simple the more we will help ourselves. The physical research is what will halt you. It did me.
    TimmyH and Jason32 like this.
  13. donavanf

    donavanf Well known member

    I promise you, you have TMS. Tailbone pain was just one of about 100 symptoms I had through my healing journey, which I am still on. I encourage you to re-read what you wrote, carefully. You have endured a lifetime of emotional trauma, just reading it made my TMS go on full alert. First let me say, I'm so sorry for all you've been through. Second, I believe you can heal completely, the first step is recognizing that you have endured not only terrible grief and sadness, but very real, awful, psychological conditioning, and combined with your OCD traits, has given you "TMS on Steroids" as David Schechter, M.D once told me I had. I still do, but it is getting better all the time.

    I too have endured massive conditioning that the body is "weak" and "faulty" and I too, have a problem with the 'researching'. I too "have always been one to google for hours on every little thing that was bothering me". It isn't merely part of your anxiety, it is throwing gasoline on your tailbone fire. You CAN and WILL get better, I promise, but first you must know, and I mean KNOW in your BONES (literally) that this is 110% TMS, it is real and it is causing ALL of your symptoms. Your posture has ZERO to do with it. Good luck, you've come to the right place. Read "The Great Pain Deception" by Steve Ozanich if you have not already, and also check out the YouTube channel of Nicole Sachs, LCSW. I especially recommend the interview she gave with Forest...here...

    Last edited: Aug 15, 2016
    TimmyH likes this.
  14. Roxygirl577

    Roxygirl577 Peer Supporter

    Thank you all SO much for your replies, I truly appreciate the kind words and hope. I appreciate this forum so much.

    Nelle, thank you for the kind words, I am so happy that you were able to beat your pain.

    Riverrat, I hope that you find relief from the rest of your pelvic pain, I will never take sitting for granted if I get through this.

    Donavanf, I have not yet read Steve's book but plan on buying it once I get a few extra dollars. I will definitely check out that youtube channel for now, thank you! I also like the term "TMS on Steroids", that is the best way of describing how I feel.
  15. riverrat

    riverrat Well known member

    Steve's book is helping me most of all to put it all together.
    There's no doubt you will beat this roxygirl!
  16. mirepoix

    mirepoix Peer Supporter

    So I had really terrible tailbone pain for about 6 months and today I have none at all. I have not had any for over a year.

    I believe I either got a very powerful placebo cure, or else I really did have a physical rather than emotional cure. I just don't know ether way but wanted to share my experience.

    Basically, a physical therapist shoved her finger up my butt. On three occasions. She said my tailbone was slightly dislocated and she had to press it gently back into place from the inside. It really hurt like hell.

    She was no ordinary PT, but was a pelvic floor specialist and had helped several people with this procedure. She confidently told me that in a very short amount of time I would feel completely better and I did.

    So again, I don't know if the power of her authority overrode my mentally invented tailbone pain or if it was really dislocated and needed to be straightened. Either way, wanted to share in case it could help.
  17. intense50

    intense50 Well known member

    I had tail bone pain, and oddly enough only when I went to the chiro. I know its sounds silly but that's how the mind works.
    FULL tms my case no doubt. It's gone now.
  18. Jason32

    Jason32 Peer Supporter

    I'd take a dislocated tailbone diagnosis with a grain of salt... a massive grain. My story, for example:

    Urgent care Dr: The X-ray shows your tailbone is broke, but not dislocated.

    Radiology report: No fracture seen but looks displaced.

    GP: Didn't even know that dislocated and displaced mean the same thing, sent me to Orthopedist.

    Orthopedist: looks at same X-ray, says it looks perfectly fine. Also says there's all sorts of anatomic variations and there's no real "normal" to compare with.

    Gastroenterologist: orders MRI which shows tailbone looks fine and was never fractured nor dislocated. Agrees with radiologist.

    Pelvic floor PT: your tailbone is misaligned and so is your pelvis.

    So who was right? I have no idea, but... my unrelenting pelvic pain suddenly vanished right before I went to physical therapy. It's like my brain thought it was going to be "safe" and getting treatment now so it shut the pain off. I quit after the evaluation and was pain free for several months after that.

    That's always happened to me in the past too- pain would disappear right when I'd make a Doctor's appointment and I'd feel stupid going. I didn't understand why that happened back then but I do now.
    hecate105 likes this.
  19. Jason32

    Jason32 Peer Supporter

    A quick and better summary of my previous post: Doctors and physical therapists can't even agree on what's normal or not, and we know that structuralism is nonsense. I bet if you examined the general population you'd have people with tailbones in all sorts of directions and have no pain.
    hecate105 likes this.

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