Symptom imperative

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dlane2530

Well known member
I'm new here and have been posting a lot. Thanks for your patience.

Very little sleep last night and then my back seized up this morning. My back is not my main symptom but it's been flirting with me the past few days. Symptom imperative, I guess.

Feeling so darn hopeless about sleep. I woke at 3 and lay there and accepted. And sobbed. Lord, carry me. My therapist says my brain is all stirred up with emotions we have been digging up.

I don't know how to spend my days with so much suffering, physical and emotional/mental. It's been since New Year's.

Can anyone give me a message of hope today?

I am tempted to stop the emotional work and I would love encouragement to keep going. Surely in time I will sleep and I will heal? It's hard to be outcome independent about sleep because fatigue makes my eyes worse and my eye strain is one of my toughest symptoms.
 
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dlane2530 said:
Can anyone give me a message of hope today?
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Once again, You are right on time. One of the reasons I think we get insomnia right before a breakthrough, is that our brains know that it is during sleep when all of the 'Inmates go wild' per Sarno-Freud. That is also when our brain reorganizes what we have taken in. During REM. The TMS is trying to HELP you.
I always tell it, out loud. "I thank you for trying to help me, but i can deal with this stuff now, so y'all need to get out."
all of us had some stuff get worse when we started doing something about it...Your discomfort now will be transmuted into Joy when you come out the other side....maybe like childbirth?

peace, and hang in there
 
Oh, thank you so much.

Do you tell your brain to go ahead and process whatever it wants at night, you can handle it, so sleep? Or that you will process things in the daytime, so stop going nuts at night, thankyouverymuch?
 
dlane2530 said:
Oh, thank you so much.

Do you tell your brain to go ahead and process whatever it wants at night, you can handle it, so sleep? Or that you will process things in the daytime, so stop going nuts at night, thankyouverymuch?
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I have a weird story that will explain why I don't "Tell it" to do anything.

In January Last year I woke up from a nightmare. I Rarely have them, but whatever it was, it was scared me so much that before I went back to sleep, I said, out loud "I don't want to dream THAT dream again"

I woke up in the most agony I have had in YEARS...complete neck spasm! I Instantly knew it was TMS of course, and I was mad at myself, because I knew what I told you about the unconscious even then. So whatever my brain had been working through got re-routed....it was almost like : "Oh, you don't want that? OK....well have some of THIS then!"

So now I tell it "Whatever it is you need to work out, please lets have at it and get it done"

That one event was proof positive to me how important dreaming is. I later THINK that all of that particular TMS episode (it lasted about 4 days) was about was regarding My son, Work and Dependency issues.
I have been working for my 32 year old son... I work like a maniac to preserve the image to him that I am an unmatchable, perfect hard worker with No shortcomings. I'm of course not that, But I want to maintain that Father/Son dynamic. He is better than me in a lot of endeavors and understanding a lot of different trades is one of the last things I still have more experience in than him. He has surpassed me in Baseball, music and those are HUGE in our Family.
 
dlane2530 said:
Surely in time I will sleep and I will heal
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Yes, you will! You can slow down the emotional work and layer it with more soothing. That’s what the mentors advise. I wish I’d done more of that before I burned myself out in therapy.

I get insomnia sometimes; but I used to get it a lot more. I noticed it went down drastically when I started journaling. I feel like I stay awake when there is an underlying brooding problem I want to ruminate on. (Usually a relationship with a family member.) Journaling lets me ruminate before bedtime and get it out of my system.

I also noticed I tend to avoid insomnia when I read good fiction. My brain works on those stories, maybe?

I like all of @Baseball65 ’s advice. Good things I’ve never thought of.

Here’s a success story on insomnia from one of our friends here on the forum, @Ellen —maybe it will help.
https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/recovery-from-chronic-insomnia.16653/ (Recovery from Chronic Insomnia)

Be still, and know that I am God. Psalms‬ ‭46‬:‭10‬

Peace to you! I’ll pray for your relief! ❤️
 
@Baseball65 I just want to say you are a gem to this community. I really enjoy reading your replies, suggestions, and feedback.

@dlane2530 You are allowed to take a break and come back. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. You will sleep again, I promise. Talk to your brain. I like to give my brain a pep talk in the mornings when I get ready, "Okay, we're going to have a good day regardless of what happens. I am safe. There is no danger. Work with me and let's bring down the symptoms, brain." and also at night: "Why is it getting easier for me to fall asleep?". This is an afformation you can try that's a little different than an affirmation.
 
HealingMe said:
@Baseball65 I just want to say you are a gem to this community. I really enjoy reading your replies, suggestions, and feedback.
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Wisdom!

@dlane2530, rather than journaling your heart and soul out, one nighttime trick is to clear your mind by making a quick list of things that are in your thoughts, and end with at least one thing from your day for which you are grateful. It could also be one thing you appreciate about yourself. It could be one of each. Sometimes it's a stretch for me to find just one thing, so maybe it's something about the weather, or a treat that I enjoyed, or something cute that the cat did, or the fact that I accomplished a task. It can be the tiniest thing, but it reminds us that there are still small enjoyments on top of the worries, and that there will also be something positive tomorrow - because why not?
 
Oh. My. Gosh. Friends, the symptom imperative/extinction burst thing is outrageous. I have pain literally all over my body right now. If I talk to it and call it TMS and tell my brain it does not have to do this it will relax some but not go away. Plus, the fatigue from not sleeping from the pain is flaring up some of my other stuff. All the threads on this say it means I'm on the right track. But just WOW.

I actually went to Costco (big drive, big trip) today instead of letting the pain control me and it went well. Now I am home and hurting just everywhere -- resisted calling the chiropractor and the optometrist, but WOW! Time to start making dinner.

If anybody would like ot mention again how common this is around where I am in the SEP (Day 12) etc. I would be grateful! And how this happens to everybody and gets better if you don't focus on it!
 
dlane2530 said:
If anybody would like ot mention again how common this is around where I am in the SEP (Day 12) etc.
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Your wish is my command ;)

Don't forget that it's not just us who see this phenomenon over and over (I've been observing it since 2012) but Dr Sarno clearly identified it when he was developing his theory for his first book in the 80s.

TL;DR (executive summary): You need to let go of expectations. It's going to be different for everyone.

My non-professional and subjective observations over the years convince me that those with adverse childhoods and/or an extreme experience of physical trauma in adulthood (sexual assault, severe accidental injury, military action) may experience multiple periods of resistance and varying examples of the symptom imperative. This is quite different from others without trauma or adversity who might only experience a single significant extinction burst during the program (which is not to say they won't ever experience the symptom imperative ever again. They will.)

I'll admit that I don't even recall if I had a distinct experience of the symptom imperative as I was recovering initially, which included doing the SEP. However, I came into this work with a lot of advantages, starting with zero adversity or trauma in my background. I had developed a belief in self-healing before I even left university and this awareness of the mindbody connection led to decades of various types of body and breath work, healthy living, and exercise, which included dipping in and out of yoga and meditation. When I discovered Dr Sarno and the forum in 2011, I had a strong desire to be more mindful, and I was also fully aware of my anxiety which I believe I "inherited" before I was born. In other words, I already had almost all of the pieces of the puzzle ready to be put into place when my lifelong mild TMS came to an age-triggered crisis the year I turned 60. Between Dr Sarno and Claire Weekes, confirmed by the emotional writing of the SEP, it all came together and made perfect sense, and my recovery was rapid.

I could easily be one of the many people on book review sites with miraculous recovery stories and glowing reviews for all of Dr Sarno’s books. But while these reviews are obviously well-deserved, they really don't tell the full story. Thus we see the confusion and discouragement and continued suffering of those for whom the journey is going to take more work. I believe that this suffering might be unnecessarily extended simply as result of unrealistic expectations.

Don't watch the calendar.
Don't compare your symptoms or progress with others.
DO practice Outcome Independence
DO let go of all expectations.

Easy, right? :nailbiting:
 
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