DAY 2
Wow today was a surprise. After reading today’s article, I’m really convinced that I have TMS. Although I got the concept previously, I just wandered why Dr. Sarno gave so much importance to “anger”, he kept referring to “anger” and then second place anxiety for the cause of TMS. When I look at myself, I just don’t see anger. I have lots of anxiety and depression but not “anger”. In some way I just thought Sarno’s theory was a little limited.
But after reading today’s article by Kim Ruby, it just really hit me. The “feeling of inadequacy” is the cause of my anxiety and depression, the feeling of “not being good enough”. I’ve known this for years now but just remembering and acknowledging how unbearable that feeling can get for me was surprising. I just started crying while reading the article; I remember how it’s been years since I don’t cry often.
Months before by low back/hip pain started, I would cry like every week. I realized that I now cry like once every 3 months the most. I realized how my thinking of me “being in better control of my emotions” was a facade. I realized that I have not; I have been just storing my negative emotions. My brain realized that it’s easier for me to deal with my physical pain than my emotional pain. I just started bawling, I realized I’m just back were I was of even further behind. I realized it’s been forever since crying like this. I remember how painful it is to deal with these negative emotions about myself. After maybe an hour or two, I was kind of relieved realizing that it is ok for me to feel like this.
Wow today was a surprise. After reading today’s article, I’m really convinced that I have TMS. Although I got the concept previously, I just wandered why Dr. Sarno gave so much importance to “anger”, he kept referring to “anger” and then second place anxiety for the cause of TMS. When I look at myself, I just don’t see anger. I have lots of anxiety and depression but not “anger”. In some way I just thought Sarno’s theory was a little limited.
But after reading today’s article by Kim Ruby, it just really hit me. The “feeling of inadequacy” is the cause of my anxiety and depression, the feeling of “not being good enough”. I’ve known this for years now but just remembering and acknowledging how unbearable that feeling can get for me was surprising. I just started crying while reading the article; I remember how it’s been years since I don’t cry often.
Months before by low back/hip pain started, I would cry like every week. I realized that I now cry like once every 3 months the most. I realized how my thinking of me “being in better control of my emotions” was a facade. I realized that I have not; I have been just storing my negative emotions. My brain realized that it’s easier for me to deal with my physical pain than my emotional pain. I just started bawling, I realized I’m just back were I was of even further behind. I realized it’s been forever since crying like this. I remember how painful it is to deal with these negative emotions about myself. After maybe an hour or two, I was kind of relieved realizing that it is ok for me to feel like this.
