Success stories

[monica-tms]

Success stories…
Do you think most people tend to not visit this forum anymore when they recover? They just go on with their lives? I mean, that would just be a wonderful thing, don’t get me wrong. But when I visit old posts, lurking on profiles and when they last visited, I can’t stop thinking whether they stopped coming on here because they recovered, or because it didn’t work for them (I know it’s my brain trying to scare me with the last one).

Personally, I just know that I will write my success story when I get there. Cause I know how important success stories are to help people believe.

What do you guys think?

 

[Rabscuttle]

I would Imagine it’s both, some leave because they got better and want to put this life behind them, some left because they weren’t seeing the results they wanted. Unfortunately forums like these have gotten replaced by the large social media sites, so it’s also possible people in this space found other areas to talk in.

when I first started this journey I really wanted to be a success story, it was a primary motivator. I try not to think that way anymore, it just led to me putting a lot of pressure on myself, especially since I don’t see very many (any?) success stories with my initial TMS issue, and I wanted to give hope to people. Although the funny thing is I’ve largely gotten over that specific symptom, but naturally others pop up. It is certainly an adventure.

nevertheless your belief and optimism is inspiring! Don’t let my mindset sour you.

 

[JanAtheCPA]

I highly doubt there is any single reason why this tends to be the case. I can think of a dozen very different scenarios right off the top of my head, all of them legit, and all based on variations of "that's life!"

What I don't do is to expend energy on unrealistic expectations! Expectations are famously known to result in disappointment. Instead, I really appreciate the feedback and participation that we DO receive, and I have faith that it represents a greater appreciation out there for the value that our little forum provides at every level of uptake.

While I appreciate what you think you're saying here, you might want to examine what lies underneath: expectations and disappointment.

 

[monica-tms]

I would Imagine it’s both, some leave because they got better and want to put this life behind them, some left because they weren’t seeing the results they wanted. Unfortunately forums like these have gotten replaced by the large social media sites, so it’s also possible people in this space found other areas to talk in.

when I first started this journey I really wanted to be a success story, it was a primary motivator. I try not to think that way anymore, it just led to me putting a lot of pressure on myself, especially since I don’t see very many (any?) success stories with my initial TMS issue, and I wanted to give hope to people. Although the funny thing is I’ve largely gotten over that specific symptom, but naturally others pop up. It is certainly an adventure.

nevertheless your belief and optimism is inspiring! Don’t let my mindset sour you.

Well, I can't wait to read your success story, cause I know you will get there. I believe in you. Also, if you've largely gotten over that specific symptom, you already got a success story, Rabscuttle. You could be the first person to share a success story with this symptom. Keep the faith. I do understand that it's not healthy to put too much pressure on yourself - keep going and see where it takes you... To be able to write a success story is just a bonus

 

[monica-tms]

I highly doubt there is any single reason why this tends to be the case. I can think of a dozen very different scenarios right off the top of my head, all of them legit, and all based on variations of "that's life!"

What I don't do is to expend energy on unrealistic expectations! Expectations are famously known to result in disappointment. Instead, I really appreciate the feedback and participation that we DO receive, and I have faith that it represents a greater appreciation out there for the value that our little forum provides at every level of uptake.

While I appreciate what you think you're saying here, you might want to examine what lies underneath: expectations and disappointment.

Yes, I think you're right. There can be so many reasons.. But I wonder what you mean by "What I don't do is to expend energy on unrealistic expectations" - do you mean, that it's an unrealistic expectation to believe in full recovery - or expect forums to have more success stories? I really do agree that expectations mostly leads to disappointment - but if we don't expect to get better or even fully recover, why would we even do this in the first place?

 

[Diana-M]

Hi @monica-tms
I think a bunch of things are going on in this forum. I’ve been on more than a year. But many of the people like Jan have been on here more than a decade— They know better than I. I come on the forum every single day so I do have that perspective. Tons of people come and go. Sometimes it makes me sad. Because I get the real impression that they just don’t have what it takes to do the work to heal from TMS. They head back to their doctors, or surgery, or who knows maybe they just give up and sit on the couch. I can understand that. Sometimes it’s not the right time for them yet. We will offer advice here and you can see when people have too many doubts to keep going… and then they disappear. I think Sarno himself said that only 5% of the people he talked to about TMS believed him.

And yes, I think very few people who get better come back. I think it is quite an ordeal to go through this and I don’t blame them for not wanting to stick around and think about TMS anymore. God bless a few of them. They do come back and comment now and then and it’s really appreciated. There’s also a core of who I call the mentors, who have healed and for some reason work tirelessly on here to help us get better. It’s honestly a gift they give us.

This forum is kind of a home base. It’s a good place to land in the beginning. If you stick around, you will get an overview of everything going on in this sphere right now. There are other TMS mentors out there that have made forums on social media, where they sell one-on-one counseling, or group counseling. Some people leave here for there.

If you look at the stats at the bottom of your profile, under recent activity, you’ll notice that hundreds and hundreds of people lurk on here. There’s a relatively much fewer people who become members. So I think that this forum provides a lot of comfort and information to people that you’ll never even know are on here.

But I will say that— you should believe you can get better. You absolutely can. And it’s a rare person who gets better fast. What your mind will do is try to find things wrong with every option for getting better— because then you won’t have to do the work. Which is grueling and revealing and vulnerable and sometimes even exhausting. That’s the journey if you choose to take it. This forum is filled with amazing people and amazing stories, and amazing help.

In the beginning, I liked to do a lot of researching using the search tool. I searched for all sorts of topics of interest for me. Not just about symptoms, but about emotional issues, techniques, you name it. It is a huge resource! Huge!

I hope any of what I just said helped. Glad you’re here!

 

[Khetu]

I consider myself a 'success story', but I still get flare-ups when life throws curve-balls at me. I may not post much, but I check the forum once a day just in case someone with the same symptoms I had (specifically hand/wrist injuries in people who use their hands a lot) posts, and I can offer any advice or comfort to them. Now I know about TMS it's difficult to detach from it, it's kind of like a club you don't ever really want to qualify for, but when you do the people inside it are so helpful and friendly you can't help but want to linger after healing to help out too.

Personally speaking, it's been 5 years since I realised I had TMS, and have most likely been suffering from it my entire life without realising it. For me, I see it as a lifetime battle I will have to fight due to the kind of person I am. I'm a perfectionist, a people pleaser, etc etc. I am so proud of myself for reducing my TMS from 'debilitating and life-altering pain' to 'annoying flare-up once or twice a year', but the flare-ups never last more than a day or so, and when they do, I know it because I need to clear some time and actually do the work (which can be hard, since life can be busy!)

I think ultimately the hardest part of healing was always convincing my brain to stop catastrophising, to stop throwing up reasons why I'd fail, or why I'd never get better. You just have to be kind to yourself for being subject to that fear, and remember that it isn't a failure. People only 'fail' when they give up entirely.

Please don't give up, and please keep forging ahead. I'm sure I'll be reading your success story before long.

 

[BloodMoon]

But when I visit old posts, lurking on profiles and when they last visited, I can’t stop thinking whether they stopped coming on here because they recovered, or because it didn’t work for them (I know it’s my brain trying to scare me with the last one).

If they were suffering from TMS then it would work for them but only if they were to put the work in. So many TMSers aren't prepared to do that. Put the work in and you will recover from TMS - don't give up!

I've gone from being bedridden and housebound to now functioning pretty well by comparison. I haven't done my 'success story' because I'm not fully recovered yet. I think there will be others like me who don't do their success story because they are a lot better but aren't fully recovered and have left the forums to finish off the job away from all the tales of suffering that can be triggering, and because reading the same kind of stuff over and over again where people are fighting the TMS 'diagnosis' can wear you down psychologically.

Also, you do your best to explain things and answer people's questions etc., tell them what's helped you and what's helped other people and make other suggestions that might particularly help them, but they reply with "yes, but..." to everything because their TMSing brain is fighting a battle royal to stop them accepting what's actually going on, what's actually causing their symptoms. Their TMSing brain gets them thinking that they are a special case and they can't get better and then they are determined to prove that to be so.

So, anyway, participating and responding to people on the forums can often feel frustrating and wearying and it can all feel too much, so you are liable to leave. I left for around 18 months to 2 years (I can't remember exactly) a while back and that was also because my beliefs regarding my own TMS were somewhat fragile at that time and I didn't want reading other people's misgivings jeopardising my mind set. One doesn't need to do that, of course, but my advice is to concentrate on the positive messages on the forums, the ones that are encouraging and bolster your determination to succeed and just skate over and take no notice of the rest.

 

[Diana-M]

reading the same kind of stuff over and over again where people are fighting the TMS 'diagnosis' can wear you down psychologically.

I agree. It is hard and exhausting. And then one day after you put in all this work of sharing your heart and soul—hoping for their success—they just leave and give up. It’s super discouraging. Fighting TMS is much more of a mental battle than a physical one, in my opinion. And it takes an incredible amount of determination and mental effort to keep your mind in the right place. Without that there’s pretty much no hope— because your TMS brain wants you to quit and crawl under a rock. It comes down to your will over it. I can see how and why you took a break from the forum, @BloodMoon . There’s a lot of help here but there’s also a lot of sadness and difficult things to hear.

 

[Diana-M]

so proud of myself for reducing my TMS from 'debilitating and life-altering pain' to 'annoying flare-up once or twice a year', but the flare-ups never last more than a day or so,

Congrats for your great success! This is a fantastic story! If you ever have time, you can share advice with anyone here, because it will apply to any symptom— not just ones like yours. Thank you so much for being here!