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Stuck about how to move forward after climbing accident

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by gazelle, Jan 31, 2017.

  1. Bodhigirl

    Bodhigirl Well known member

    Thanks so much for the hope, Marcia. HOPE. Acronym for Hold On, Pain Ends. I ordered a cushion today, should arrive before I am supposed to travel.
    Complications abound. More stressors than ever in a week. My older horse colicked last night and was hospitalized. I sobbed and sobbed. And hurt and hurt. I know I am injured. I do. And I got Rolfed this morning and cried and debriefed the trauma of the fall.
    I am so grateful I have assembled a vast network of mindbody people. This community. My body workers who make space for the emotions to speak through the body and release trauma. Kind friends to share feeling switch instead of faking it. No repressed rage here. I'm out of the closet with anger and tension to where sometimes I can even laugh about how tense I can get.

    So very grateful for the work of Sarno and Schubiner, who has been a kind correspondent the past few years.

    Epson salts are next on the list. Tomorrow. Just lying down the rest of the day.

    Confession: Afraid to travel. Intuition says "STAY HOME AND REST". Pamper. Nurture. Not force myself to follow a plan. I am giving myself permission to not decide my travel till Sunday morning. I would rather err on the side of self care any day (I think, I hope). I really really hurt, without an unconscious storyline. Weird.

    I do know it will heal. I will heal. I am not afraid of pain syndromes any more. What a gift to not be locked into my old, sad victim story! I own it. Hurrah!

  2. FredAmir

    FredAmir Well known member

    "I still haven't quite figured out how to stay healthy..."

    There are certain personality traits and thought patterns that contribute significantly to TMS. I have put together an online questionnaire that I use to assess my new clients. You can use it to get a better sense of what you need to work on to reduce or eliminate TMS.

    http://www.fredamir.com/questionnaire (rapidrecovery)

  3. gazelle

    gazelle New Member

    Oh good. Will report back. I know I like to do it all, and then 1) collapse in exhaustion with injuries and headaches giving me a much needed break 2) have internal tantrums when I can't do it all. But I am also aware that I am not fully aware. I'm on this forum only when I am injured and the rest of the time I am busy burning the candle all along the wick storing up emotions to cause my next injury.
    Bodhigirl likes this.
  4. Bodhigirl

    Bodhigirl Well known member

  5. Bodhigirl

    Bodhigirl Well known member

    Thanks for this Tom. I am an athlete. I know I am injured. Just want to preempt any attempt of my unconscious to use this as an opportunity to create more suffering than necessary.

    I remember years ago I had a TMS pop! in my hamstring during yoga and went to the ER. They told me to rest, ice etc. I wanted to go back to yoga immediately, didn't know about TMS at the deeper levels I do now. A friend worked for the Dodgers baseball team. He told me that in the locker room was an Injured Reserve list posted for everyone to see. If you were on that list and someone saw you working out they called you out and stopped you from doing something dumb. So I am on IR right now. I can still lift upper body, push-ups, some yoga and backward bending, up dog and downward facing dog. No triangles that are deep.
    I go to the edge and stop. I am so grateful for this!
    Still I am not making a decision whether to travel till Sunday. A lot of healing can happen in that time. Or not. I have to stay out of the results. Cannot control this.

    Grateful for the reminders. Injury is injury. An accident is not punishment either. Or my fault.
    MWsunin12 and Tennis Tom like this.
  6. Bodhigirl

    Bodhigirl Well known member

    Love that you use EFT. It's wonderful stuff. I saw a good piece in elephant journal a few years ago. Touched me.
    I'm a workaholic. In recovery. Sounds like you might like our group. If you want information let me know. My favorite group is a phone meeting in Saturday's at 2pm EDT.
    Adrenaline is part of our chemical addiction to wacky brain chemistry - yes?
  7. gazelle

    gazelle New Member

    Hi Bohigirl,

    Thanks for the kind concern - I really appreciate it. Work, for me, isn't an addiction, but a passion. The problem is I have too many passions. TMS has taught me that, just like I can't eat everything I want to, I have to moderate my passions. I did try a 12-step group in the past but, despite giving it a real college try, it didn't resonate or even help. I didn't like the "addict" label in much the same way I don't like physical diagnoses and saying I was powerless, wasn't a good thing for my psyche or my sense of responsibility. People in Africa right now are powerless over starvation and water shortages, and people in Peru are powerless over landslides and getting smothered. I am not powerless over what I inbibe. I'm not powerless over my TMS injuries either, whatever I might think. My personal first step that I adopted was to realize that over such things I had total power and it comes down to choice every time. I chose to do things to excess and I can still push the boundaries there. This was really really painful for me to learn, I would have preferred to think I was a victim of fate but realizing that proved key to my recovery.

    When you said:

    "Injury is injury. An accident is not punishment either. Or my fault."

    Absolutely!! I felt 100% that it was a punishment. That's what I used the EFT on. You WERE powerless over the act of getting injured, it's one of those statistical things that happens. I jumped over a wall once, miscalculated and bruised that butt bone. I sat on frozen peas for an entire week except for when I was in a job interview. But that one goes and it certainly was not your fault.

    I sometimes think the skill in life is figuring out what is your responsibility and taking responsibility for it, and what isn't and letting those things go. Good luck!
  8. FredAmir

    FredAmir Well known member

    The same way that TMS is a defense mechanism to keep us distracted from facing anger and rage, so can be busyness, burning the candle at both ends, OCD, and so on. I have seen in too many of my new clients.

    Sometimes it's related to an earlier life trauma and other times it is a mental or behavioral pattern developed over time.

    It does create an imbalance that can lead to more TMS at times or actual injuries.
  9. gazelle

    gazelle New Member

    I agree. There's often not a perfect solution to busyness though. When I had children, I chose to give up work, and was miserable to be quite honest. Then I started working again, so was really busy bouncing between one job and another. That went on for years until I started working for myself which at least gave me some flexibility. I'd given up doing things for myself - like climbing - because of work and family commitments and had lots of TMS. So actually taking up climbing again was a TMS solution. So basically I walk a fine line: Work and hobbies and commitments can contribute to TMS, not being fulfilled can also contribute to TMS. I try to walk that line: remind myself that these are choices I've made, be grateful for having a family, work, a great hobby, and allow plenty of time to process feelings. I can easily stray off path but then steer myself back on. So that is where I constantly seem to be at. But like I said: worst TMS was no work, or no hobby, in an attempt to lead a less stressful, more easy, more emotionally in tune life.
  10. lisamr

    lisamr New Member

    Hi gazelle—sorry to bring up such an old thread but I think there’s a lot of similarities between us. I too have cured myself of Tms symptoms 2 yrs ago, so I thoroughly believe in the mind body connection. I also wrecked my right wrist while climbing in Indian creek 5 months ago ( tfcc tear) and by purely bad luck, I tore another ligament (lunotriquetral) in my good hand 2 months after the first injury.

    My right wrist didn’t swell and I could do push-ups after about 3 weeks from the injury. After I hurt the other hand, I also could be in the push-up position. Still, I had real lig tears and the hand surgeon casted my left and right wrist at the same time (wasn’t fun). I’ve been out of the casts for 5.5 weeks and I have sooo much swelling and I’m nowhere close to doing a push-up. Even riding my bike is a no go (wasn’t a problem before the casts).

    My guess is the immobilization created more structural problems (I’ve had issues with an immobilized shoulder post-dislocation before that a cortisone shot and surgery fixed) OR I’m dealing with TMS. The PT said I shouldn’t be swelling still from being casted since my ROM is mostly back. Did you ever figure out how to distinguish between the two? Or do you have any tips on how to recover from wrist injuries in general? I’m far from getting back on the wall and just cooking makes me swell up.

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