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Day 19 Struggling

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by Toby2015, Jan 28, 2016.

  1. Toby2015

    Toby2015 Peer Supporter

    Well everything seemed to be going well pain wise until the last few days. I've noticed my mood is slightly somber too but I think that's a result of my symptoms playing up.
    My back is bothering me again today, my tinnitus is louder, psoriasis is terrible (I've been juicing for this and stopped using steroid cream hoping that it'll clear on it's own) and over active bladder is REALLY over active! On a plus note, my ibs is gone still
    I must admit I'm having doubts on whether I can beat thus myself, I won't give in but I've always felt this way when going through therapy.
    I have been journaling about some past events, mistakes I made as a teenager, bad ones that I feel guilty and ashamed about. I admit that it has brought up those shameful feelings again although it hasn't caused me to cry or express it any other way. I just feel bad inside. I wonder how the hell my Family still love me after everything I've done. I think it has over whelmed me revisiting these separate times in my life in quick succession.
    Although I'm disheartened about my pain for the last few days, I do not feel depressed or anxious, just a tad emotional inside.
    I'd appreciate any words of encouragement right now, I just need to know that this is a normal part of the program...
  2. dcl1597

    dcl1597 New Member

    Toby-I'm only 6 days in, so I can't give you much advice about the program but I can tell you this: I don't know you, but I believe in you. We've all been in need of support from someone here and there, and I know how hard it can be trying to act normal when you're struggling inside but we're here for you. You can do this! You're only part of the way through the program, and I truly have faith that you, me and everyone else here can get through it. Do your best to stay strong, and I know you'll pull through. Even this post, where you talk about your difficulties has given me hope, because my biggest problem is IBS, which you say is still gone. If you can't beat this yourself, you've got a whole community here that is standing behind you. Here's to you, and success in the future! Hang in there, YOU CAN DO THIS!
    Toby2015 and Gigi like this.
  3. Gigi

    Gigi Well known member

    Hey Toby! You must be encouraged by the fact that you've felt this way before when going through therapy. So perhaps your subC is trying to reassert its position in the only way it knows how--with pain.
    Sometimes pain is an indication that we're on the right track. I remember when I was working on banishing horrible headaches. I knew I was close to my goal when the pain unexpectedly switched sides one day! (It was also confirmation that this was TMS at work!)
    Keep on keeping on!
    Toby2015 likes this.
  4. MellieV

    MellieV Peer Supporter

    Hi Toby! Don't give up and don't give in to the pain. I am only 7 days into this program, but I have been working on other self healing methods for a bit longer. I really believe your pain is back because you are making progress by feeling things you'd rather not, and it is trying to put you right back into it's old familiar pain pattern. Don't beat yourself up over your past, just feel it, and let it go. You can do this!!
    Toby2015 likes this.
  5. Toby2015

    Toby2015 Peer Supporter

    Thank you so much for all your words of encouragement and support. It means a lot having people who understand whether your experienced or new to the TMS program. I will continue with the SEP, I just needed to hear that what I'm experiencing normal. I'm now on day 21 so onwards and upwards for the second half of the program!
    Good luck to all of you beginning your journey. I am definitely experiencing benefits despite my few set backs. I do believe you are right that Melliev that IT is because of revisiting past traumas.
    Thanks again. x

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