I watched your video and learned more about you and why TMS has come into your life.
You said you don't want to see a therapist and want instead to work on TMS causing your pain.
Doctors have not figured out why you're in pain, so you can safely look deeper into TMS.
It sounds like you have repressed emotions regarding both your parents that cause you to
feel angry, upset, and ashamed.
Your mother gave you comforting at times when you were sick, but then spent more of her
time at the country club. Not all mothers are like my next-door neighbor who seems to live
totally for her young son and daughter. Her husband doesn't help her much with the kids,
he's such a busy businessman.
So your mother doesn't fit into an image of the all-caring mother. She may also not want
to admit that your father is the one who molested you. Your unconscious seems to believe
it was he. Your mother may be shielding him for fear it would make matters worse.
I think you need to forgive whoever molested you and go on from there. Not easy, I'm sure.
You are getting strength from your Buddhist faith. That's great. I'm Catholic but believe
there is One God and He loves us all.
If I were you, I'd keep working on my repressed emotions. You don't like to write so
videos can be your way of journaling. I see you post them on YouTube.
I'm interested in how to do that. How do you make your video and then how do you ge
them on YouTube?
Dr. Sarno and Steve Ozanich say it's good to not even think about pain, and to put your
mind on other things. Maybe telling me how you make your video and get it on YouTube
would help you to do that. If not, no problem.
Keep thinking TMS. It's your best and probably only way out of pain.