Struggling Today - Crawling Sensations in my Abdomen

[HealingMe]

I’m having a really tough time today. I thought I was experiencing an extinction burst a couple days ago. I woke up with unsettling crawling sensation in my right abdomen, which turned into a very deep hot poker ache as the day progressed. For the most part I stayed calm and walked around the house talking to myself and reminding myself of the 12 Daily Reminders and that this pain wasn't necessary. I had an appointment at a doctor. The pain moved from my abdomen to my labia and was burning. After the appointment my symptoms dissipated for the rest of the day, except this nagging poky feeling in my chest every now and then.

My original hip and inner groin pain seemed to have calmed down, but it seems like everything got dialed to 100 in my pelvis and abdomen last night. I went to the bathroom (#2) and it felt like a nerve was irritated. I said to myself, oh no, the ache will begin again. It did, I have this unsettling crawling sensation in my abdomen and sometimes this abdominal “tightening” that comes and goes. I find these sensations the most unsettling. I can handle my leg or my inner thigh hurting, but this is so unsettling.

Before this I was a pretty happy person. I had my routine. I’ve become depressed and anxious. My doctor put me on an antidepressant for the pain. I noticed it does help with my mood as well. This is tough for me because I’ve never taken antidepressants and they’ve given me insomnia for the last 3 days including other unpleasant side effects. So I’m struggling.

I couldn’t stop crying this morning. It was hard to get myself together. I’m still shaken up from everything. I guess I’m just ranting. I feel so stuck and so sad.

 

[Cactusflower]

Hey @HealingMe
Way too much information. Nobody needs info on your toilet habits!
Imagine you have a pair of binoculars on, and zoom them way out. Look at yourself and see your whole self. Now look to see where those symptoms were present. See what a tiny part of you they make up? See how BIG you made them.
The crawling sensation is a very common TMS sensation. It is from muscle tension either from increasing or decreasing tension.m because muscle fibers have sensations. It’s just generally we don’t pay much attention to this process when we are not hyper focused on it. Your goal is to keep your binoculars zoomed out. To take in the whole you. Your body, your mind, your spirit.
“Before this I was a pretty happy person” is a fallacy. No, you were simply oblivious to how you really felt, which is 100% tms. This is why reading a book by Dr. Sarno is essential. Dr. Sarno speaks of repressing emotions, which is exactly what “I was a pretty happy person” suggests when it comes from someone with TMS. You were really good at masking the anxiety, emotions etc. because that’s a survival mechanism. Now you know that wasn’t working so well for you. Now you learn a new way of being. The miraculous thing is you become a new and better version of you over time, mind and spirit.. and usually the body follows along.
The anti-depressants can throw some folks for a loop the first few weeks and can effect digestion. Hang in there! It passes.
If you have not yet tried journaling, now might be a good time since you are now truly sensing some big emotions. My hunch is that “this has been tough for me” is because you are feeling some shame.
Write about it.
You are crying and feel stuck and “so sad”… are you sad or ANGRY!?! I ask this because my own sadness and depressed feelings will mask my anger. I was angry that the Dr. didn’t “get it”, that I felt so alone, felt helpless and it took awhile to recognize how much this meant I was mistreating myself.
Holding anger in and not allowing it to be felt in the body is mistreating yourself.
Allowing your mind to catastrophize and run rampant with hyper focus without kindness and understanding is another form of self-abuse ( what would you say to a friend who does this? You would soothe them, tell them this is temporary. To hang in there!).
Lastly self-victimization is a form of self-abuse. Work through it, gently. See how you are not at the mercy of your symptoms and how you can learn, over time to alter your mindset and take control of how you think and feel - even if you have physical sensations. You are not damaged, you are not stuck here forever. Today is hard. Tomorrow is another day.
Reading the book Hope And Help For You Nerves by Claire Weekes is so helpful for mindset. She’s a quaint old fashioned Australian doctor who gives very concise direction on how to deal with anxiety, depression and mind set.

 

[Fal]

You need to think about how you are responding to it, if you are responding with the attitude of “oh my god what is that” you’re telling your brain there is a problem and fight or flight begins or continues.

Anti depressants sadly do have side effects and I had plenty, insomnia was definitely one of them.

 

[JanAtheCPA]

@HealingMe, this is from your first post:

I’ve had past trauma from horrible jobs and childhood. I always hid it and never talked about it hoping it would go away.

THIS is what you need to be talking about and describing, not the details of your physical symptoms and sensations. By spending so much time and effort describing your symptoms to us, your brain is trying to convince you that you're accomplishing something.

This is a trick. It allows you to remain stuck, that is all. This is what your fearful TMS brain wants. It is not what you need. You can't afford to fall for it!

These are all symptom imperatives, believe us. The fact that your brain is reacting so strongly with so many symptoms, particularly the increased depression and anxiety, is proof of how resistant it is to you uncovering any true emotions about your repressed past.

I honestly do not know if you can do this without professional help. Dr Sarno's TMS theories are pretty easy to access for people with typical goodism, perfectionism, and life stressors. Adverse childhood experiences (aka ACEs) is a whole different level.

I'm going to recommend the following thread I posted last year about the quick 10-question ACEs "quiz". Please click through to the NPR article and read the whole thing (it's not long) in addition to taking the quiz. Or, in my thread, I attached a pdf version. Please also be sure to read the responses/discussion following my post (there's a good response from @Cactusflower).

 

[HealingMe]

@HealingMe, this is from your first post:

THIS is what you need to be talking about and describing, not the details of your physical symptoms and sensations. By spending so much time and effort describing your symptoms to us, your brain is trying to convince you that you're accomplishing something.

This is a trick. It allows you to remain stuck, that is all. This is what your fearful TMS brain wants. It is not what you need. You can't afford to fall for it!

These are all symptom imperatives, believe us. The fact that your brain is reacting so strongly with so many symptoms, particularly the increased depression and anxiety, is proof of how resistant it is to you uncovering any true emotions about your repressed past.

I honestly do not know if you can do this without professional help. Dr Sarno's TMS theories are pretty easy to access for people with typical goodism, perfectionism, and life stressors. Adverse childhood experiences (aka ACEs) is a whole different level.

I'm going to recommend the following thread I posted last year about the quick 10-question ACEs "quiz". Please click through to the NPR article and read the whole thing (it's not long) in addition to taking the quiz. Or, in my thread, I attached a pdf version. Please also be sure to read the responses/discussion following my post (there's a good response from @Cactusflower).

Hi Jan. Thank you for the reminder. I began journaling yesterday. I’m following the SEP. Yesterday I journaled for the first time. I was really surprised. My emotion went from neutral and ended with an increased heart rate, I felt angry. I felt this way for the next hour. I noticed my TMJ began to slightly bother me as I was writing and I felt my symptoms increase.

Sometimes I feel like I can’t unfocus from the pain. I have to take a step back, be gentle and kind with myself.

 

[Fal]

@HealingMe I strongly recommend you research Dan Buglio on YouTube, it will give you another viewpoint about TMS and other ways to help on top of journaling and meditation. He has daily videos and success stories, I make sure to watch them everyday to make sure I continue with my own journey.

 

[HealingMe]

@HealingMe I strongly recommend you research Dan Buglio on YouTube, it will give you another viewpoint about TMS and other ways to help on top of journaling and meditation. He has daily videos and success stories, I make sure to watch them everyday to make sure I continue with my own journey.

Thank you. I will make sure to do some researching on Dan.