Hi All, I have been hard a work on accepting my TMS diagnosis for about 2 months now. I am lucky to live in the NYC area so I have actually been in for 4 appointments now with Dr. Rashbaum, Dr. Sarno's protege. Typical the the TMS personality type I pursued appointment scheduling vigorously and completed the diagnostic appointment with a firm TMS diagnosis and the following three lecture appointments. I have read all three of Sarno's books and Steve Ozanich's book. I constantly listen to what few interviews I can find from Sarno on YouTube and I bought the Sarno lecture DVD. I spend at least a half an hour a day reading or somehow pounding in the TMS diagnosis, but I have found little physical relief. My upper back pain has improved slightly and I am pushing myself to get back into the gym and lightly lifting, but my lower back pain has not improved. I consciously try to repudiate the structural diagnosis, but I have made such little progress that I am finding more and more difficult to convince myself-- I WISH MY BACK WOULD JUST GIVE ME AN INCH SO I COULD MENTAL MAKE THE NEEDED LEAPS TO TAKE THIS MILES! I realize that about 20% of patients need pyscho therapy, which I am happy to go to, but it is expensive and I am just out of college and trying to juggle many expenses. I would obviously pay anything to progress out of this pain, but I worry that I will not progress even this this therapy. Dr. Rashbaum assures me that there are TMS therapists in the area so it should be possible to find one, but at some cost I'm sure. I am sad and frustrated that I am not improving. The TMS diagnosis is a god send. I had given up on improving dramatically without any surgical intervention or otherwise. I can only imagine that I have to reverse 6 years of doctors confirming my structural diagnosis and this is why it is taking me so long. My pain coincides so well with the damage shown on my MRIs that i believe there is a part of me that still cannot accept the diagnosis. As I said earlier, my lack of progress has reinforced this and I am stuck in a real catch-22 with my pain eroding my confidence. I am not sure what anyone can say to help. I guess I just needed to get this out. I have studied TMS intensely for the past two months and feel as though I could deliver Sarno's lectures now by heart, but I am stuck and demoralized. Thanks for listening-- this forum has been a source of comfort to me.