Educational Program Day # 9 Question To Ponder (Have you been overly critical of yourself lately? How and why have you done this?) "Up until today's meeting with [Boss], I continued to worry about OB. Intellectually I know that I've given this program my all, despite (sometimes) very severe pain; other times, chronic, naggy aching pain. And yet my thoughts are always about hot to do better even when I'm doing well so I can continue to give 110%. I am always critical when I don't feel like I'm the superstar of the program. I know all my other resident colleagues are just trying to get by. I feel so burdened by trying to be not only "better", so to speak, than anyone else (which given my time away from "traditional" medicine in Psychiatry isn't a fair competition), but better than "failure Phil" who is a ghost of the victimized medical student I was and no longer exists except deep in my head/heart."