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still stuck and losing hope

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by Gio23, Dec 5, 2014.

  1. Gio23

    Gio23 New Member

    Hi my name is Giovanni a 30 year old. I've been a regular member on this forum and have had great advice but have tried everything and am still in pain. I've had rectal pain for 3 years and it all started with family arguments during my wedding, also being a introvert unable to express my feelings and I know it's tms bc of doctor visits and I fit the profile to a T. That being said I can't get any relief. I've done meditation, therapy, telling myself nothing is wrong, journaling, etc. I know it's all in my mind but I feel like I'm in a vicious cycle as my wife also has stress issues including infertility which is stressing me out more than the rectal pain. Either way, I feel I've done almost everything and I'm not sure what else to do.. I feel I'm in a hole I can't get out of.. Thanks for any help.
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2014
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  2. mike2014

    mike2014 Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi Giovanni,

    Thanks for reaching out to the forum.

    I understand TMS is no simple beast to recover from and by the sound of it, you and your wife are both feeding each others TMS symptoms. Is she also understanding of the TMS concept and how her emotions can manifest and create real symptoms?

    I know it's very hard to do in such a situation, but you need to fully surrender to the TMS teachings and have 100% belief and commitment, secondly, be kind and gentle to yourself, embracing your thoughts without re-acting or judging, after all it is these stressors and emotions that fuel your pain. Finally, keep doing the TMS work, it will eventually click and you will heal.

    I listened to a great interview with Deb and Ed Shapiro a few days ago and they addressed that if they were ever in a situation where they had difficulty, they would simply both meditate together so they could both be balanced and in a neutral place - with total acceptance, love and well being.

    I wish you good health, just be mindful, acknowledge your thoughts and remember you love her unconditionally.

    All the best,

    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  3. Boston Redsox

    Boston Redsox Well Known Member


    Mike is right, also don't put a time table on your recovery its a journey, it also sounds like you are have done your home work on tms , sometimes you need to take a break and do things you enjoy don't push the river…and as Walt always says (one of the members of this forum) find time to laugh.

  4. Walt Oleksy

    Walt Oleksy Beloved Grand Eagle

    Gio, don't lose hope. We all have had times in our TMS healing that can discourage us.
    We just have to think that's our subconscious trying to distract us with doubts so we don't
    work on our repressed emotions or believe in TMS. Keep positive and you will be healed.
    Boston Redsox likes this.
  5. Ellen

    Ellen Beloved Grand Eagle

    Have you used one of the Structured Educational Programs? I think these are really useful as they outline specific things to do every day, but not for more than about an hour a day. You can work too hard on healing.

    And I suggest revisiting the concept of Outcome Independence in Alan Gordon's Recovery Program.

    I know it can be discouraging to feel stuck, as most of us have been there. Just keep at it and a break through will come.
    Boston Redsox likes this.
  6. njoy

    njoy aka Bugsy

    I'd suggest trying ISTDP (Intensive Short Term Dynamic Psychotherapy). Instead of going year after year for expensive talk sessions with a shrink, the ISTDP therapist is trained to help you quickly get to the core of your problem, understand what you've been doing so far that isn't helping, and make the choice to let go of old ways, safely feel the feelings you have been repressing, and, finally, find your own new solutions to whatever your core issues are.

    ISTDP usually takes 10 or 20 sessions which makes it fast and cost effective. The really fine thing, to me, is that you learn to check up on yourself. A study found people continue to improve even years later, without the help of a therapist!

    ISTDP (and other intensive dynamic therapies) are well known on this forum. Here a link for more information that Forest passed on to me, just today:
    He mentioned that our Dr. Schubiner (one of Dr. Sarno's closest associates) does trainings with a well-known ISTDP practitioner, Dr. Alan Abaas.

    I'm going to try this out next week and will let you know how it works for me. TMS solutions have been wonderful for me, many times over many years, but my latest problem (I feel like bugs, not real ones but they sure feel real! are crawling all over me when I'm stressed -- yuck) is not responding as well so it's time to try something new.

    A lot of people here know that I'm a big fan of parts therapies such as IFS (Internal Family Systems) which works great for me. I think I'm getting a bit too close to some deep unconscious stuff and the bugs are meant to distract me from that.

    I know that most people with TMS don't need to "dig deep" but I do. If you are the same, there's no shame in that.

    It sounds to me, Gio23, like you are in a tough situation and need help. Not everything is a do-it-yourself job, is it?
    Bill 1964 and Ellen like this.
  7. Walt Oleksy

    Walt Oleksy Beloved Grand Eagle

    ISTDP sounds interesting for those needing extra help with TMS.

    I've also noticing more people working on Tapping. Some new Youtube videos on that.

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