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Starting to despise my unconscious mind

I've tried numerous approaches to dealing with my subC. I believe that it thought it had my best interests at heart in keeping me from feeling painful emotions. However, that makes me angry because I wasn't given a choice in that scenario. I've tried embracing it as if it's a child, but that didn't lead to abatement of pain for me.

Instead, I seem to have most success with the direct approach. "Get the hell out of my ________(back, head, feet etc.)" I then tell it that I'm capable of dealing with the feelings.
[The frustrating part for me is that I rarely know what I'm stressing over. However, as far as pain relief goes, it often doesn't matter whether or not I can identify the issue.]
Finally, so that I don't get in a feedback loop fearing even more pain, I challenge my subC to "bring it on."

I'm a big believer in trying numerous approaches until you find something that works. Hope you find a tool that works for you, James.
 
James59 said:
Now that I'm learning about how the unconscious mind creates my pain, in the past few days I've really started to hate this part of me. After all, I now realize it is responsible for ruining the last 6 years of my life, just when a lot of things were finally coming together for me. Now everything is a mess, all because of the pain. I really despise my subconscious now, and I feel like a kingdom divided against itself (and we all know how that proverb turns out). I don't know if this attitude is helpful or hurtful to TMS recovery. Should I go with it, or try to find a way not to hate my subconscious?
Click to expand...
I am in the same boat. If you promise to hang in there until tomorrow I will do the same, do not give up
 
We need to learn to LOVE ourselves. Sadly, we are not taught to do this.
That includes our unconscious mind. It is part of us. It's doing the best it can.
When I catch myself being mad at any part of me, I correct my thinking, and accept and love it. ALL OF IT. Very important. :)
 
James59 said:
Eric, what you said above makes a lot of sense. My anger towards my subconscious has pretty much subsided since I came to the realization I mentioned in my August 21 post. My subconscious thinks all the crap from my life is happening at once, and doesn't realize that my conscious mind can sort it out. So now I see it needs reassurance, not my animosity.
Click to expand...

- Excellent James59
 
hecate105 said:
I think you can talk to it directly - as if it is a small child. Be concise and clear and direct. It seems so silly - but it works! Every time I feel pain come on - I take some deep breaths, look inside and think 'What is bugging me?' is it something or someone now - or is a situation or person triggering a reaction from the past. As soon as I figure it out -or even if I don't - I then address the subconscious 'child' and tell her that I know that it is repressed emotion that is causing my physical body to feel pain, that it is not appropriate, that I will deal with the repression and hurt but I will not accept physical pain now. If you can understand why the pain is there - maybe you are expecting a visit from someone who has hurt you as a child or something, it is much easier to do. It seems that if you can 'solve' why the pain is there - it just goes in minutes. If you cannot solve why - it seems to take longer (at least for me) it is continuously saying to your subconscious 'I know this is psychological and emotional - it is not physical, I will sort it out (conscious mind - as you said) leave me to do this in my own time. We don't want to be bullied by our subconscious anymore than by other people!!
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Thank-you so much. I have been doing what you suggesting and it is working! Pain free today,
 
PeterO said:
We each experience the subconscious as we experience
it & whether we rage against it or come to it with compassion
is kinda irrelevant. In my opinion, I think it important that
whatever approach we take that we do it with precision &
consistent intent. What the subconscious feeds upon is indecision
& the conjecture of the rational brain.
Click to expand...


What a great paragraph. We all come to TMS through our own individual perspective and history, which shapes how we view our unconscious and the role it plays in our symptoms. The key to recovery, which I have repeated elsewhere, is to identify what works best for you, and to continue doing it. Precision & consistent intent. I love that phrase!

Personally, I don't feel that my unconscious was being friendly in protecting me from my emotions, however, I now view my symptoms, when they pop up, as a friendly reminder that I need to think psychologically. Our unconscious is trying to tell us something by creating these symptoms. We simply need to listen to what it is trying to say.
 
James 59 - Wow! Your insight about how the subconscious is understanding everything as happening "NOW" makes much sense to me. There is an epiphany here for me, too. Yes, if we accumulate all of these past perceived traumas and sorrows and something does happen NOW to trigger the past trauma, then the subconscious mind would go into a "let's protect the organism mode" thus triggering pain in order to cover the emotional sorrow, anger, rage - whatever the threatening emotion that needs to be covered. This concept that you posit here is very similar to that of Dr. Neale Donald Walsh who wrote the trilogy of Conversations With God books, along with another title, When Everything Changes, Change Everything. Dr. Walsh writes about how a current event triggers the subconscious memory, thereby activating a distorted response to an otherwise benign event.

So, being a handwriting analyst myself and combining the theories of these wonderful philosophers/writers, then perhaps we are doing ourselves a disservice by writing journals about all of the past upsets in our lives - maybe we are inadvertently re-activating the experience in the "now" thereby causing the subconscious mind to re-experience in the "now" the feelings of the past. Maybe we should be writing journals about the "new future self" that we would like to experience in the now. Maybe the trick for how to do this is to "feel" our way into how it might be to be moving flexibly and pain free. Perhaps our journals should be moving forward in the now - not backward to another set of upsets that re-create new disappointments and heartaches to be felt in the future. Sorry to get so esoteric here and to approach the problem from such a metaphysical standpoint but I think you honed in on something here, James 59.

Do any of the good physicians or psychiatrists affiliated here with TMS support offer programs whereby the journaling is focussed on positive affirmations and self-forgiveness and gratitude for what is? Just wondering.

I think I might take this approach myself. What do others think? Have any of you tried that as a twist?
 
Lianne, I too have wondered whether digging up old hurts is helpful or not. I was raised in a metaphysical oriented church, and was always taught that focusing on the positive - specifically God's care and provision - would bring good things into my life. That approach has served me well for everything in my life except my health, which for some reason has consistently and stubbornly resisted any positive messages. That has been a huge disappointment to say the least. Knowledge of TMS has given me a new perspective, but I have yet to see any benefits from that knowledge.
 
Lianne,
I do think there are a lot of events, experiences... that trigger some unconscious event as if it is happening now and this brings imbalance to
the autonomic nervous system. I just listened to one of my favorite health advocates, Dr. Andrew Weil. He has a audio tape called Breathe
and it is about the autonomic nervous system. He explains that if you do breathe work every day which is deep breathing the autonomic
nervous system starts to get into balance. It takes time but he feels this is at the root of many medical problems such digestive problems,
heart palpitations...

I have started deep breathing using his tapes and I have found it to significantly help. I just started this past Sunday. I have figured out
that if I do have pain while I am sitting or sleeping; I can do the deep breathing the pain goes slowly. It surely has empowered me.

Now when I am walking and get the pain, I have not been able to get the pain to go.

I do realize that some of the pain is a conditional response or may have a root cause. I not sure what you do when you find the root
cause. For me, I think mine is empty nest syndrome and adjusting to a new lifestyle. I cannot change these things and I am learning
to understand this is not easy for me but I do believe your pain can go in spite of the changes in life. What do some of you think?
 
James59 said:
Lianne, I too have wondered whether digging up old hurts is helpful or not. I was raised in a metaphysical oriented church, and was always taught that focusing on the positive - specifically God's care and provision - would bring good things into my life. That approach has served me well for everything in my life except my health, which for some reason has consistently and stubbornly resisted any positive messages. That has been a huge disappointment to say the least. Knowledge of TMS has given me a new perspective, but I have yet to see any benefits from that knowledge.
Click to expand...

James59,
I had a very similar experience regarding the use of positive affirmations--they worked on everything except my health issues. Now that I know about TMS, I understand why. TMS is due to repressed emotions and emotional conflict, not negative thinking. In my experience, to heal from TMS one must deal with the emotional issues. There appear to be some people who are cured by knowledge of TMS and acceptance of the diagnosis, but they are in the minority. I've had to do the very hard work of looking at my emotional baggage and sorting through it before I could sustain positive health benefits. Jounalling has been a great tool for this. It's been very difficult, but absolutely worth it. To counter all the negative emotional stuff in my journal, I started a separate journal where I write down positive things from my day. There is research in the field of positive psychology that doing this simple task on a regular basis can help teach the conscious brain to take notice of positive experiences and, therefore, help one become more positive. However, this is training for the conscious brain and will not heal TMS which is caused by the unconscious brain.

Hoping you see some benefits from your TMS knowledge soon.
 
Ellen said:
James59,
I had a very similar experience regarding the use of positive affirmations--they worked on everything except my health issues. Now that I know about TMS, I understand why. TMS is due to repressed emotions and emotional conflict, not negative thinking. In my experience, to heal from TMS one must deal with the emotional issues. There appear to be some people who are cured by knowledge of TMS and acceptance of the diagnosis, but they are in the minority. I've had to do the very hard work of looking at my emotional baggage and sorting through it before I could sustain positive health benefits. Jounalling has been a great tool for this. It's been very difficult, but absolutely worth it. To counter all the negative emotional stuff in my journal, I started a separate journal where I write down positive things from my day. There is research in the field of positive psychology that doing this simple task on a regular basis can help teach the conscious brain to take notice of positive experiences and, therefore, help one become more positive. However, this is training for the conscious brain and will not heal TMS which is caused by the unconscious brain.

Hoping you see some benefits from your TMS knowledge soon.
Click to expand...

You make a good distinction here between the conscious and unconscious brain. I hadn't thought of that.
 
I veer around from hating what has been done to me in the past, resentment of those who should of looked after me, and anger and shame at myself for putting myself in this position. To have suffered so much - and now be able to end/reduce the pain so easily (I say easily - but have to do 2 hrs a day TMS work to stay healthy - but compared to last 20 odd years!!!) seems like monumental stupidity on my part. But then I veer the other way and douse myself in self-compassion. What has happened has happened. It is what happens NOW that's important - so I keep reading 'Power of Now' by Eckhart Tolle. I need to live in the moment now - I deal with the past when I do TMS work - but then leave it be. I need to make the moment I am in meaningful, relevant and pleasant - I need to be HAPPY!
 
gailnyc said:
You make a good distinction here between the conscious and unconscious brain. I hadn't thought of that.
Click to expand...
Just what I needed to hear! I have been missing the fact that emotional conflict is tantamount to my TMS pain. This is the missing piece. Thank- you.
 
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