Somebody please help.

[Gio23]

My name is Giovanni. I've had rectal burning and itching for 3 years. When it started I had family issues so I'm sure it's tms. Then I went to a tms doctor and he confirmed it. Problem is I've read dr. Sarnos books and while it all makes sense I'm still in pain everyday. It hurts real bad, have had every test imaginable and nothing comes up. Not sure what to do.

 

[Eric "Herbie" Watson]

Ok Giovanni, You said you read the book but did you do the program that is laid out in the book. Like your focus on the symptom will just keep it there and keep the pain there. Your fear of the symptom will just feed the pain. Your fear of the pain will keep it there. First change all three of these ok. Next focus on your emotions and feel them in your body, what sensations do you have that are attached to those emotions? If you feel the emotion and sensations with those emotions without judgment or criticism toward the emotion and let it just be in your body while you feel it then soon the emotion will start to dissipate and this will start the process of relieving you from pain but remember there is no short cuts ok, you have to do the work and being anxious and wanting the symptoms to disappear now will just keep them there too so you will have to have plenty of patience and practice self compassion and forgive yourself for whatever you feel that you have let yourself down for. We will start here, let me know what you think. Bless you

Remember your fear and focus and anger and anxiety, worry are the main culprits - lose those with patience and time and commitment to do the work ok.

 

[Gio23]

Ok Giovanni, You said you read the book but did you do the program that is laid out in the book. Like your focus on the symptom will just keep it there and keep the pain there. Your fear of the symptom will just feed the pain. Your fear of the pain will keep it there. First change all three of these ok. Next focus on your emotions and feel them in your body, what sensations do you have that are attached to those emotions? If you feel the emotion and sensations with those emotions without judgment or criticism toward the emotion and let it just be in your body while you feel it then soon the emotion will start to dissipate and this will start the process of relieving you from pain but remember there is no short cuts ok, you have to do the work and being anxious and wanting the symptoms to disappear now will just keep them there too so you will have to have plenty of patience and practice self compassion and forgive yourself for whatever you feel that you have let yourself down for. We will start here, let me know what you think. Bless you

Remember your fear and focus and anger and anxiety, worry are the main culprits - lose those with patience and time and commitment to do the work ok.

First off thank you so much for all the great tips! I am seeing a tms therapist and i just get frustrated bc somedays are good and others really bad and that's when I get the feeling like this will never cease. And when I get the pain I have this anger or hopelessness feeling. I don't know how not to feel frustrated when the pain comes on. While I'm doing better than in the past I feel down a lot. Also, I began a workbook called unlearn your pain by dr. Schubiner but then I stopped from frustration bc felt like it was draining me. Do you recommend going back to that workbook? Also, as my wife and I continue having a hard time conceiving I feel the tms doesn't have a chance to go away bc of that stress as well. Thanks again for your kind words. Let me know what you think.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Gio, reading your last post makes me suspect that the main reason you have rectal pain is because you are stressed
at not being able to conceive. I've seen plenty of movies on that subject (can't think of one at hand) but the doctor
always tells the patient to just relax and not worry about performing. That was the case with a good friend. He and his wife
were not having any luck so they adopted a little boy. Within a year they gave birth to twin girls! Both of them had
relaxed so they were able to conceive. I'm not suggesting you adopt, just relax.

 

[Eric "Herbie" Watson]

First off thank you so much for all the great tips! I am seeing a tms therapist and i just get frustrated bc somedays are good and others really bad and that's when I get the feeling like this will never cease. And when I get the pain I have this anger or hopelessness feeling. I don't know how not to feel frustrated when the pain comes on.

Focus on the frustration emotion by focusing on the sensation of the emotion and not what's in your head, lose the anger attached to the frustration, this is where your focus is and you're just feeding the tms.
Here you will change your tactics and focus on the sensations in your body that are attached to the emotion of frustration ok and don't judge or criticize this emotion cause then you will be back in your head, when you feel frustration focus on the sensations and think emotionally why are you having this frustration. You might think its the pain but its the emotions that are the culprits.
Thoughts create emotions and emotions create feeling and sensations and feelings and sensations create pain, what we think of our pain creates emotions, right?
Emotions create feelings and lastly the sensations to the pain. Make this lesson a habit and as the emotion starts to dissipate get your mind on some great time that happened in your life, a feel good moment and soon you should be doing a lot better. Let me know what you think.

While I'm doing better than in the past I feel down a lot.

My question is are you journaling on why you feel down a lot and are you focusing on the sensations attached to those emotions so you can start to eliminate these emotions?

Also, I began a workbook called unlearn your pain by dr. Schubiner but then I stopped from frustration bc felt like it was draining me. Do you recommend going back to that workbook? Also, as my wife and I continue having a hard time conceiving I feel the tms doesn't have a chance to go away bc of that stress as well. Thanks again for your kind words. Let me know what you think.

The hard time conceiving will probably be a main culprit my friend, have you journaled extensively about this? It's so you can release the emotions you have attached to the thoughts you have about the situation ok.
Remember frustration is an emotion that can be felt and needs to be.
The drained feeling is also an emotion that will leave when you lose the frustration. Letting the frustration go through mindfulness and focusing as I have described will help you a lot my friend.

 

[Gio23]

Focus on the frustration emotion by focusing on the sensation of the emotion and not what's in your head, lose the anger attached to the frustration, this is where your focus is and you're just feeding the tms.
Here you will change your tactics and focus on the sensations in your body that are attached to the emotion of frustration ok and don't judge or criticize this emotion cause then you will be back in your head, when you feel frustration focus on the sensations and think emotionally why are you having this frustration. You might think its the pain but its the emotions that are the culprits.
Thoughts create emotions and emotions create feeling and sensations and feelings and sensations create pain, what we think of our pain creates emotions, right?
Emotions create feelings and lastly the sensations to the pain. Make this lesson a habit and as the emotion starts to dissipate get your mind on some great time that happened in your life, a feel good moment and soon you should be doing a lot better. Let me know what you think.




My question is are you journaling on why you feel down a lot and are you focusing on the sensations attached to those emotions so you can start to eliminate these emotions?



The hard time conceiving will probably be a main culprit my friend, have you journaled extensively about this? It's so you can release the emotions you have attached to the thoughts you have about the situation ok.
Remember frustration is an emotion that can be felt and needs to be.
The drained feeling is also an emotion that will leave when you lose the frustration. Letting the frustration go through mindfulness and focusing as I have described will help you a lot my friend.

I have understood everything you have told me. I no longer have any doubts I have tms and realized this. However there are days I am happy have no anger and still have pain. Also my wife and I have let go of being unable to conceive and I still continue to have pain. So the anger I have is just towards the pain and not towards anything else. Just not sure what to do when the pain comes on as the pain is unbearable at times

 

[Eric "Herbie" Watson]

Why do you have anger toward the pain and do you focus on the emotion of anger instead of reacting to it?
Ps. Remember the emotions causing the pain will not be felt emotionally CAUSE it's causing your pain, the reason to journal and dig deeper or answer the question why are you getting mad and frustrated other than at the pain.

 

[Gio23]

Why do you have anger toward the pain and do you focus on the emotion of anger instead of reacting to it?
Ps. Remember the emotions causing the pain will not be felt emotionally CAUSE it's causing your pain, the reason to journal and dig deeper or answer the question why are you getting mad and frustrated other than at the pain.

I focus on all the emotions that trigger the pain. I think physiological all the time. However when the pain is there it is difficult for me to move past it knowing it's still there. I've accepted my tms. Not sure if I should go back to journaling. Don't see much success in my time with tms therapist either. Feeling frustrated and like I'm gonna have this rectal pain forever

 

[Eric "Herbie" Watson]

Come to peace with those emotions that trigger the pain, if they are triggers then they are reactions, can you be at peace with them and stop reacting since you can be aware of them by focusing on them?

Remember as long as you are frustrated with your time and wanting this pain to leave now, you are just feeding the pain with that frustration and giving into the tms even more, you have to separate yourself from that want so you can heal. You can't count the days, let it happen when it happens, become outcome independent.

 

[Gio23]

Come to peace with those emotions that trigger the pain, if they are triggers then they are reactions, can you be at peace with them and stop reacting since you can be aware of them by focusing on them?

Remember as long as you are frustrated with your time and wanting this pain to leave now, you are just feeding the pain with that frustration and giving into the tms even more, you have to separate yourself from that want so you can heal. You can't count the days, let it happen when it happens, become outcome independent.

I have come around to accepting my emotions and the pain and continue to enjoy and not stop my life due to the pain. I don't count the days anymore I just am not sure how to go about recovery. I am seeing a tms therapist, I'm just not sure if along with that I should meditate, I've also read how important mental rehearsal is.. Or just go out and live my life without thinking of my pain.. I get upset about my pain sometimes but quickly change my tune. My wife insists to just forget about it, I find that very difficult but I just want to know what's the best option to a optimal recovery.