Some set backs

[Trent]

Hi everyone. I am pretty new to this. About 10 days. My first 4 days were unbelievable. I told everyone close to me about this miracle. I just bought Dr. Sarno's 3rd and 4th books (mind body prescription and divided mind). I haven't started them yet so as of now I have only read healing back pain. Anyway, I knew I was lucky to have had such an immediate response when first reading the book, but I went in fully believing and figured this was why it was working so great.

The last 3-4 days I have woken up with the old symptoms again (pain in sciatica, down the leg past the knee and ankle area) but the back itself has been better still. But after being so excited, it has been quite depressing to have to ask my wife once again to help me put my socks on. She is incredibly supportive, but I have felt embarrassed after parading around the home feeling like a healed new man and now getting some doubt.

I keep reading some bookmarked pages that Dr. Sarno says to read every day and I am fighting my brain but sometimes i dont know exactly what i am looking for when trying to think of the repressed anger/anxiety. The good thing is I have forced myself to go workout each morning while trying to ignore this pain. And after my morning workout I am usually pain free for the remainder of the day. But on the ride to the gym in the morning I have to stop a few times to stick my leg out of the door because the pressure and pain explodes down my leg.

This made me wonder if anyone else has experienced this morning relapse type of thing. And If this possibly could be because the subconscious mind is in play so much as you sleep that when I wake up I am not in control as much as later in the day...

I'm hoping to get some extra help from the next two book. I want this to work so badly and it is so great reading all of your posts and seeing the support.

Thank you!

 

[Stella]

The mind is trying to distract you from taking this journey. Use your mind to "yell" at this pain to go away. Talk to it. Say "no you can't slow me down. I am going to continue on no matter what you do...so forget it."

You continue to have positive reinforcement that your doing the right thing. No pain after work outs. You are on the right track...you know it.

The hardest thing for me to do was to connect the emotion with the pain. Jounaling plays a significant role. The anger occurred in a nanosecond in my mind before traveling into my body as pain. As Dr. David Clarke says in "They Can't Find Anything Wrong" children learn to control their feelings so well they have difficulty feeling them. This is me.

You are doing great. Set backs are normal. Sandy

 

[veronica73]

Hi Trent,

The mind doesn't want to give up the TMS strategy yet...it's worked for so long. Although some people (like my mom) recovered completely after just reading the books, it takes a lot of people longer and there can be mini-relapses as you move toward complete healing.

Take care and keep up the great work.

 

[Trent]

Thanks for the responses everyone. I had the same morning again today and it went a little longer but reading these responses helped me power through. Feeling good at the moment. I'm having troubling pin pointing the exact anger or anxiety issues that are triggering this. I find myself constantly trying to remember something that made me upset, which is something I never thought I would be doing to try and better myself. I am starting to think it could have someone to do with "biting my tongue" at work or social life because I want to make everyone happy and maybe that has built up a lot of small tension over time. I just can't remember every instance. Maybe I'm looking too far in to this.

I noticed someone wrote recently on these boards to be happy with what you have and not feel like you need more, this thought process seems to help. I love these discussion boards. It's like re-reading the books every day and knowing its real.

Thank you

 

[Susan]

Trent,

Welcome. You are experiencing some very normal reactions by your unconscious to the reading you have done. For some of us it takes a while to really get the fact that we are fine.

Have you seen a TMS doctor to rule out anything structural? Have you checked out the Structured Ed Program on the wiki homepage? Journaling will help you begin to access the repressed emotions. "biting your tongue" certainly is a place to start to uncover your actual feelings about life situations now and from your past.

I read and reread Sarno many times, used the resources on this wiki and purchased both Dr. Schubiner's book and Steve Osanich's. These are excellent resources.

I have been at this for about six months and am almost pain free. It can happen in an instant or it just takes as long as it takes. You are courageous to do this work. I certainly felt embarrassed at times but a supportive spouse and small victories taught me that both TMS and its cure are real. Keep at it and use these Forums for support. This is an incredible resource.

Take care,

Susan

 

[Jilly]

Your'e right on track with healing and recovery. You said " I am fighting my brain but sometimes i dont know exactly what i am looking for when trying to think of the repressed anger/anxiety." " I am starting to think it could have someone to do with "biting my tongue" at work or social life because I want to make everyone happy and maybe that has built up a lot of small tension over time." What your'e looking for could possibly be so very subtle that your'e not aware of it because your'e probably very good at repressing negative emotions (anger, rage, sadness, inferiority, embarrassment, biting your tongue at work and etc.). TMS'ers are good at people pleasing.

The pain comes out in the morning, when your'e dreading getting out of bed, paving the way for the pain to come this day. You have set the tone for the pain to have a captive audience. But...the successful workouts completely blows apart the strategy the ego has used quite successfully in the past to distract you from these painful feelings. This is really great progress ! The pain in the leg while driving to the gym is like a spoilt child (id-ego) throwing a fit ... but you demonstrated to the (id-ego) your'e in charge. Your'e re-training an old well worn path and your'e making new neural connections, and sometimes there is some revolt to change.

Next time you find yourself biting your tongue at work, consciously catch the moment and experience and really FEEL the ramifications of what this other person said to you. Excuse yourself when time permits, go some place private like the bathroom and allow those feelings to fully and completely move through your body. You'll feel your heart pound a little, or a sweat on the brow...let the feelings crescendo and peak, then feel them ever so softly begin to dissipate. Just watch them move through your body. Full acknowledgement, no repressing or stuffing. This is the mind body connection. Your'e doing great !

 

[Stella]

Hi Trent,
I also wanted to mention that when i mentally got rid of my shin splints and thigh pain i then got a migraine. it took me awhile to realize it was TMS. Then it moved some were else! So be aware it coud pop up somewhere else requring a "talking to"

 

[Jilly]

Hi Trent,
I also wanted to mention that when i mentally got rid of my shin splints and thigh pain i then got a migraine. it took me awhile to realize it was TMS. Then it moved some were else! So be aware it coud pop up somewhere else requring a "talking to"

Tricky lil buggar ! Your'e onto it Sandy, it's on the move....

 

[honeybear424]

I, too, seem to feel worse in the mornings. I do believe it is because while we sleep, our subconscious minds rule. Many times I have felt better after my morning routine of meditation and Dr. Brady's program, which includes a minimum of 20 minutes of journaling. I'm thinking of checking out Dr. McKenzie's "dream programming" to see if I can't have an effect on my morning pain.

I've read all of Dr. Sarno's books, Dr. Schubiner's, Dr. Brady's, Dr. Clarke's, and Steve O's...and have Dr. Sopher's on the way. After reading how Steve O listened to Dr. Sarno's audiobooks over and over again, I now can add that to my repertoire. I ordered them from Audible.com a couple of months ago and now can listen while I putter around at home.

Hang in there! Like Susan says, "It takes as long as it takes".

 

[Forest]

Feeling good at the moment. I'm having troubling pin pointing the exact anger or anxiety issues that are triggering this. I find myself constantly trying to remember something that made me upset, which is something I never thought I would be doing to try and better myself.

The key thing to remember is that you don't have to find THE thing or THE emotion that is triggering your symptoms. As mentioned in the thread, Seeking the Grail, you only need to understand that you ARE repressing emotions and identify WHY you repress emotions. Most people do not need to identify what the emotion is or why we are angry.

 

[Jilly]

The key thing to remember is that you don't have to find THE thing or THE emotion that is triggering your symptoms. As mentioned in the thread, Seeking the Grail, you only need to understand that you ARE repressing emotions and identify WHY you repress emotions. Most people do not need to identify what the emotion is or why we are angry.

This is so good to remember...