Unknown, I just had a moment to read your post June 28 post more carefully, Unknown, and it sounds like you are in a terrific place. It is that magical place, perhaps called mindfulness, where the physical sensations or the emotions (are they really that different?) can come and you can recognize them and let them pass.
Thanks for a great post. You weave many elements that are very important to TMS healing into your post, so it's fun to read. You've found your own way to diffuse the fight/flight tension, and I think that's a crucial step. You are also listening to your emotions via your body and allowing yourself to be with them, which is wonderful. You've found a way of relating to and communicating with your fear without letting it take you over. It sounds like you've founds something really terrific.
The New York event sounds great, and I would go, but since I live in a different city, it would be too much travel for me personally. I went to focusing.org, though, and found another training that is in November, so I'll probably sign up for that. I've never had much success with body oriented approaches like Somatic Experiencing before, but I'm up for giving it another try. I'm also tempted to just look up a local trainer and just schedule a session with them. It seems like the one on one interaction is important, so a one-on-one session with a trainer sounds good. Does that sound like a good idea to you?
Since it sounds like you've made a tremendous amount of progress in terms of managing your mental state, I'm curious, what would you say has helped you the most? Was it the one on one sessions? Something you read? Your own synthesis? Hearing other people's stories?
GR, I love your new pic! I hate to say it, but I don't know if there is a good way of simplifying the process. Even if there is, I'm not the person to do it! If you are interested, I would poke around the focusing.org website and read things that look relevant. I'd pay special attention to the "Learn Focusing" and "Gendlin Online Library" sections, as they seem particularly helpful. If you can afford it, scheduling a session with a Focusing trainer would, I'm sure, work well, too. Alternatively, getting the book "Focusing" by Gendlin or "The Power of Focusing" by Cornell would be a cost effective way to go deeper.