So I think I have TMS...

So today I had a pretty strenuous day at work, which wasn't too comfortable on the groin. I spent the whole day obsessing over physical symptoms; stretching, pressing, rubbing etc.

I tried to direct my thoughts to what i was feeling a few times but found it really difficult to hold that train of thought, at work, while my symptoms were annoying me so much. I did however realise just how much my symptoms do distract me from any emotions I'm feeling, it really is a very effective process! Even when I try to check in with myself and see how I'm doing, I can't manage to get past the pain, thoughts of the pain, what ifs etc etc :S

Finished MBP a couple nights ago and I am going to start reading it again tonight.

Hoping tomorrow is a better day!
 
Hi Braden,

We've all had days like that, they just get less frequent over time. You're in exactly the right frame of mind to handle it, by getting curious as to what your brain is up to, rather than letting the pain bother you too much. You're observing rather than taking part in the process, which is excellent.

Ride the waves to calmer shores ! :D
 
Yes, I know I have had many days like this! And they do get less frequent. It is good that you are giving yourself the possibility of tomorrow being a better day. My work was very stressful and hectic today. Physically I felt pretty good which I was grateful for. I had a somatic experiencing therapy session schedule for late morning and I ran off it it, gulping a cup of soup and checking texts at the stop lights. A few minutes into therapy my legs got really heavy and kind of shaky. It was a strange sensation and normally something like that would panic me a bit. I feel very secure with my therapist so I allowed myself to really sense it even though it was uncomfortable. Then I got kind of woozy, spacey, sort of light headed. Again something that typically would flare up my anxiety and send me into panic. But somehow I managed to just be with it, more observational. It is very fascinating to me after being locked in a very stuck pain pattern to be able to sense and observe all of these physical sensations shifting around and to so clearly see that they are coming from an exploration of my emotional and psychological state. After therapy I felt fine again. I am not sure how long this process will take but I do feel I am headed in the right direction. Branden, I really think you are as well. There may or not be more difficult days ahead, but stick with it, keep exploring, and it will shift. You will get better at redirecting your thoughts and as you do the pain will be less distracting, even when it is still there. I have found it tremendously helpful to try and sense into a part of my body that does not feel pain. It is so hard at first it feels impossible. But with practice you can start to get it and at least for me that helped my brain to break the pattern of only focusing on the pain. The pain is there, but if you look real hard, there is a place you can sense that it is not there. One day for me it was only my elbow. That's the only place I could tell felt "normal" You are doing good.
 
So each day got a little easier this week, I am getting good at shutting those negative thoughts down pretty quick , as soon as I feel the pain coming, I immediately start to remind myself of the TMS process and attempt to think emotionally rather than physically, even if i dont know exactly what to think about I just make sure my attention is on my mind rather than my body, which is is actually starting to prove pretty effective at times. I found the trick is to keep myself busy!

Groin pain came and went all day but is slowly but surely leaving, since the groin has started to ease off my bloody back is starting to ache again though, which I'm honestly not that fussed about because if I can beat the scrotal pain (which is a very anxious, fear inducing place for me to have pain!) the back pain should be no worries at all! One step at a time though I suppose.

It's Valentines day today, so I have a big night planned with the woman, I think thats why I've been feeling the pain more so today than the last couple of days, social sitiuations really seem to impact me in a negative way and I'm really starting to take notice of my anxiety and pain feeding off each other.
 
braden101 said:
as soon as I feel the pain coming, I immediately start to remind myself of the TMS process and attempt to think emotionally rather than physically, even if i dont know exactly what to think about I just make sure my attention is on my mind rather than my body.
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This is exactly what you need to be doing, and is what Thinking Psychologically is all about. In one of our Q&A with an expert articles, Alan Gordon wrote, Remember, the pain feeds on fear and attention. You take away those two things and you’re in good shape. When you turn your attention to your mind, you are not giving your symptoms the attention they need, and you are reducing the fear you have of them. Developing this skill will put you on your way to recovering
 
Pain was pretty off and on all of yesterday and it ramped right up as soon as I got a call from a friend to come over for a bbq.

Social situations are definitely my biggest trigger. Now that I can clearly see that link, i think it will get easier to laugh off symptoms trying to stop me from having a social life, due to some childish insecurities I obviously have.

It's amazing how so many symptoms flare up in a matter of minutes when I start to consciously fight the TMS process, and my TMJ seems to have made a prompt return since I have started to scratch around in my mind.

Anyway, I ignored the symptoms, went to the bbq and had a great time, with only some minor discomfort in my groin and today has actually been my most pain free day in weeks!

Going to try my hand at mindfulness, hoping it will help me to relax and de-stress, which is something I find very hard to do.
 
Last couple days at work have been pretty good. Mostly just an uncomfortable feeling in my groin and a few flare ups but they haven't lasted too long.

I have been waking up feeling pain free and as soon as it dawns on me I have to go to work, the pain sets in. And I give myself a kind of pep talk in the car on the way to work, telling myself i know i rather stay in bed, I know its not fair etc. I just acknowledge all those childish thoughts floating around in my head. Then I get on with my day.

This morning was a little bit more difficult than yesterday though, I actually had 3 TMS symptoms alternating for a few hours, it was a strange sensation, from groin to left side of my head and to my back. This cycle repeated itself for a couple hours until work got really busy and I went the rest of the day without even feeling any pain or thinking about TMS. Of course as soon as I realised this, the pain coincidently popped up but only mildly.

The groin pain is there now, but I almost expect it at night now, especially while I'm writing about it like I am now. I have also been trying my hand at mindfulness the past few nights right before getting into bed with MBP and I think I am slowly starting to get the hang of it, my mind seems to race alot at first, but each time I do it I'm slowing it down alot quicker.

Compared to the messed up place I was in 3 weeks ago, I feel pretty amazing. I know the pain will go up n down and I still have alot to work on but i feel i am in a good place right now and when it comes, I am capable of dealing with it.
 
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