So frustrated !!!

[Lou]

It seems that the harder I try to deal with this AOS/MBS/TMS ( or whatever you want to call it), the worse things get. Just this morning I started getting dizzy spells. It has freaked me out. I almost had a full blown panic attack right after I tried to convince myself to not worry about it because it's only TMS again. Why is my brain working so hard against me?

I was thinking this a.m. about how my personality traits are part of the problem. My husband and I are both people pleasers and perfectionists. I have miserable chronic pain and he doesn't. I realized this morning that the difference between us is that he is a habitual complainer while I hold my emotions in. I think I probably hold in most of his frustrations as well in a way. Somehow I need to change this situation if I ever want to heal.

Anyone who has any suggestions, please feel free to offer suggestions or advice. I need all the help I can get!

 

[Lily Rose]

I just put this on another post, but it seems it might be just the thing to share here, as well.

Take a moment, and breathe ... and try this:
Inhale: self acceptance
Exhale: anything that isn’t

Inhale: forgiveness
Exhale: anything that isn’t

Inhale: trust
Exhale: anything that isn’t

Inhale: peace
Exhale: anything that isn’t

Inhale: presence
Exhale: anything that isn’t

Inhale: love
Exhale: anything that isn’t
(Tanya Markul/Thug Unicorn)

And then perhaps you might consider that 'trying so hard' to do something is actually part of the conflict within. When we grasp something so tightly, we often damage it.

"... it's only TMS again" almost sounds belittling. It is not 'only'. It is something to be handled with gentleness and compassion. When you hurt, or are afraid ... rather than brushing it off as 'only', you might try a slightly different approach. "Something is bothering me, but I don't know what yet, but it is okay, I am radiant and I will get through this ... " or any set of words (or mantra) that will give you some nurturing.

This will not happen overnight. Our healing is a life-long journey of creating healthier and more sustainable personal habits and traits.

You are doing tremendously well simply be being aware. Changing some of your internal dialog may take you even further. It takes time and practice. Be patient with yourself. And more than that ... be kind with your self.

You are powerful and radiant and magical ... you just may not see it yet

But you will ... you will.

.... with Love and Gratitude ^_^

 

[Lou]

Thank you for the insight. I think I am probably being too hard on myself...partly because I hate being in this stupid pain and partly because I know how negatively it is affecting my family. I will definitely do this from now on, on a daily basis. It is very good advice.