Small victory - baby steps

[Pingman]

Well I have a small victory in my TMS. I have slept the last two nights without a sleeping pill. Since my anxiety spiked about a month ago, I have been taking sleeping pills to help me sleep. Now that the TMS has moved from my leg which is 95% better to general anxiety, making me feel like my vision is off...I decided to try and get myself back to pre-anxiety state.

Night one was rough, when I awoke at 3am like every night I simple kept repeating to myself that it was just anxiety and stress. I eventually fell back asleep. Last night I slept all night.

Steve O, your posts have really helped me get motivated to start. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to overcome, never felt true anxiety and when it first happens the fear that you will never regain normalcy is daunting. I feel anxious but I can feel the small victories and have confidence I can do it.

Dr. Sarno's books state he believes anxiety and head issues can be caused by TMS when no other issue can be found. That gives me the motivation I need. I am also taking the advice of Walt and others and taking to my brain. I keep telling it that it is only anxiety and stress causing me the anxiety and it can't hurt me. I ahve also been meditating and visualizing areas of my life that have been painful.

Going to start the Structured Program today.

 

[Dahlia]

Congratulations to you on your progress. I know from experience about facing anxiety head-on and you have accomplished a lot. Keep track of how far you have come and remind yourself of how strong you are!

 

[Pingman]

Thanks Mary! One other thing I keep telling myself is that there will be a positive from this fear and pain I am feeling. Someday I will reflect on this time and use it to help guide my son when he faces issues growing up. I won't ever let him repress his feelings but will engage him and make him share his thoughts and feelings so maybe he never feels what I am feeling right now.

 

[phillyjoe]

Pingman, I am right there with you. I delayed for a long time the TMS/anxiety connection. I used TMS for back and physical issues. I have been sleeping lousy myself and using self-talk also. When I read a post like yours it provides me support knowing "your not alone" out there is this life process. Continued healing and recovery.

 

[Pingman]

phillyjoe... you are not alone, I just said a prayer for you for God to ease your anxiety and mind before you sleep tonight. I sometimes look back at each of my anxiety episodes and the one thing I notice is that sleeping/Insomnia is the first thing that happens to me. That itself induces even more panic as I start wondering if I can function at my job with no sleep. Then it all starts to unravel.

When I am falling asleep now I just reflect over and over that my anxiety is like my leg pain that healed, it is stressed induced and nothing to worry about. Second best thing I did...never look at the clock again until the alarm goes off.

 

[David B]

Pingman, congrats on the sleep progress. I've been there on sleep. In fact I'm back there in a way. Sounds like you found a good trigger for yourself .

If you are working with a MBS therapist make sure you ask them for tricks to get your sleep back on track. Mine gave me two that worked. I'm not sharing them only because I'm not a professional and don't want to influence you in a wrong directions..

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Sleep, glorious sleep.
That's wonderful progress you're making, Pingman.
I always wondered why my father liked taking naps, even when we were on a picnic.
Now I know. Sleep and naps are relaxing and rejuvenating.

I had a fantastic sleep last night. I usually get to sleep fairly fast, deep breathing and
thinking pleasant thoughts. I wake up usually twice a night to take a pit stop.
Last night I slept 9 hours straight and woke up at 7 am, my usual time. I didn't
wake up until then, to make a pit stop.

I must have a clear conscience and am in control of my TMS repressed emotions.