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Sick of Success Stories

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by patrickj, Jan 8, 2023.

  1. patrickj

    patrickj Well known member

    Anyone else sick of reading success stories?

    It’s giving me even more rage. I’d do so much to be a success story.

    Fucking sick of waking up in pain everyday.

    And yes, I’m ‘doing the work’ but it doesn’t seem to work.
    riv44 likes this.
  2. Cactusflower

    Cactusflower Beloved Grand Eagle

    Have you read Dr. Hanscom’s book Back In Control?
    Sure it has a few success stories, but it also has lack of success stories.
    He really goes into anger and how that can hold folks back. It’s fine to feel the fleeting emotion of anger but if you find yourself kinda stuck there, it holds you hostage. He talks about other things that can keep people stuck.
    The movie he’s invoked with (about one of his clients), Love Heals, discusses a failed surgery and chronic pain -and a woman who has to begin living her life again despite the pain. I’m sure, like you, she still wakes up some days wishing it was gone, but it seems like as she’s learned to relax and be more open in life (for her, it is having new life experiences), she has moved forward. She’s learned to write her own success story without being pain free.
    JanAtheCPA likes this.
  3. patrickj

    patrickj Well known member

    thanks for replying.

    Ive heard of that film, I’ll have to watch it. Currently I’m watching This Might Hurt. I’m just consuming TMS stuff constantly and getting absolutely nowhere.

    It doesn’t help the belief when nothing works.

    I’ll try his book but I’m re-reading Sarno at the minute then I’m on Georgie Oldfield’s book.

    Made me feel a bit worse your comment about learning to live with it and start a new life.
  4. TG957

    TG957 Beloved Grand Eagle

    It is not about WHAT you are doing, it is about HOW you are doing it. Could be that you are going through the motions without getting into the heart and spirit of it.

    Someone on this forum talked to me privately about the same situation he faced. I sensed a lot of anger in him, but when I told him that his problem was anger, he was greatly surprised and explained that he did not feel any anger, that he was not an angry person (in his mind). I suggested a TMS psychologist. Four months later, after having worked with the TMS psychologist, he was doing much better and acknowledged that he did not understand how much his bottled up anger pained him.
    Cactusflower and patrickj like this.
  5. patrickj

    patrickj Well known member

    Thanks.. yeah maybe. I’m doing my best though and am on a 10 day journaling streak which is good. Not that it’s affected my pain. I feel fucked at the moment. Back pain which has gone bad and spreads to my neck and I get headaches, vertigo and feel exhausted from the moment I wake up

    I believe a lot more that it’s TMS these days. I’d like to work with a practitioner and if I’m honest I’m disappointed in the few offers I’ve received. I’ve put myself out there in all forums and Facebook groups and I’d have expected more offers or contact from practitioners. And the few who have contacted me want £100-£150 a session. For fucking zoom calls
  6. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    @patrickj, you have acknowledged back when we were interacting that your ACEs score is 3 - which means that you've got some serious childhood issues. I indicated then that unfortunately, self-help programs like ours are probably not going to work for you. You've simply got too much to unpack, and no one can do that without professional and skilled help. Affordable TMS coaching is not going to be enough. This isn't your fault - sadly it is your reality.

    I'm 100% with everything Tamara said. Please find a way to obtain professional help, as hard as that is in these times. My video therapist is US$185/hour and she is professionally educated and licensed in her state. My well-being is more than worth the cost. My ACEs score is zero, FWIW. My anxiety definitely stemmed from childhood and parental influence, but that's all that I, and many typical TMSers, are really dealing with. Unfortunately, you're dealing with a whole lot more, and I'm deeply sorry for that.
    TG957 likes this.
  7. NeOshin28

    NeOshin28 Newcomer

    Me too I feel the same!
  8. TG957

    TG957 Beloved Grand Eagle

    Unfortunately, we live in the world of capitalism, and clinical psychology is a market. It seems to be a standard rate in both UK and US. I was very happy with my TMS psychologist who worked with me remotely because there was nobody available locally. If reality hits us hard, we can hit it back but it would not be helpful, we have to accept it. Think of other things that you would pay for while they cost a lot of money but you would still pay because you need them! I paid a lot for my sessions, but it was worth every penny!
    Cactusflower likes this.
  9. Sita

    Sita Well known member

    I've done extensive therapy. Most of it for trauma, EMDR therapy. It was very expensive but helpful. Up to a point.

    I was helped much more by my own work, mostly daily meditation, positive affirmations, creative hobbies, exercise outside in nature, breathing exercises, healthy eating, gardening etc.

    Calming the mind helped me the most.
    TG957, Ellen and patrickj like this.
  10. riv44

    riv44 Well known member

    I respect your honesty. What is the pain you are having? What helps? I was a success story but there has been some relapse. The only thing that helps me is to think "this too shall pass." Sometimes I can't walk. Loss of mobility is a thing, as was a severe case of COVID when it was new, in 2020. Aging is a thing." Do not go gently'" It's terrible and isolating to feel you are suffering while everyone is having a Recovery Experience.
    Cactusflower and patrickj like this.
  11. riv44

    riv44 Well known member

    Education and 40 years of experience are worth paying for , if the person is a good fit for you. There are also clinics and low-fee practices. My inability to charge the going rate reflected my lack of self-worth and TMS symptoms. It is not the therapist's greed causing this. Maybe for some it is a "market", but you are paying for their years of education, struggles with dissertations, no-pay internships, licenses, malpractice insurance, expensive continuing education credits, professional society membership, supervision of the therapist, paperwork There is no parity with physical medicine, and the insurance companies pay us crap. In the USA, healthcare and insurance companies are abusive to therapists. No longer on panels, I am not enslaved, and guess what? I have more ability to do proton work! I work on ZOOM and have been able to establish intimacy in the groups I do.
    I've never been in this for the money. There are easier , but less interesting, ways to get rich.
    Cactusflower and Ellen like this.
  12. TG957

    TG957 Beloved Grand Eagle

    Word "market" was not meant as an offense but rather as an acknowledgment of reality. We all are in the market to sell our labor in the respective fields we work in. If we can talk about the job market for engineers or construction workers, why can't we say the same about therapists? There is nothing wrong about being paid a fair market rate for your professional labor. I always loved my profession, but I also liked being paid a fair market rate. Did it make me being in it "for the money"? I don't think so.
    Cactusflower likes this.
  13. Balsa11

    Balsa11 Well known member

    In the meantime, coming to terms with repressed emotions coming up from within, staying physically active within reasonable limits, and maintaining a solid support system can help along the way. Sometimes another person like a professional can help with acceptance, or sometimes you realize you are the only one who can choose to respond to this discomfort and your inner self talk. TMS is really really frustrating. In this modern world, it's really easy to run away from emotional discomfort instead of addressing it either individually or with help.
    patrickj likes this.
  14. Everly

    Everly Peer Supporter

    Step away from the "work to get rid of pain". I was stuck like you, massively annoyed and frustrated - I was doing everything, spending time on this forum, consuming content, journaling, the lot. I was monitoring symptoms - am I feeling better if I do this/or that/if I journal/if I meditate/if I listen to a podcast, all with constant monitoring of the symptom level, looking out for them, fearing them. All this was just adding to the fear. More fear = more symptoms. Becoming at ease with whatever it is and doing my best to just enjoy what I could eventually led to less symptoms.
    stevow7, Balsa11 and patrickj like this.
  15. riv44

    riv44 Well known member

    When I said market I did not mean to insult my profession or myself. I re-read my posting and thought I did not make my point clear. I'd rather market than rely on the medical model. I am having a true set back which I will probably post on Ask a Therapist forum, or support forum.

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