i feel mentally burned out most of the time, i have brain fog, i feel tired, sleepy all the time, can’t think straight, don’t want to do things, losing motivation to workout. I’m actually feeling hopeless in life. i don’t have motivation to put effort in making good grammar in this post. i feel depressed. heres the thing. most of the time i go to the gym i feel worst and also sometimes after the gym. i asked myself why do i go to the gym? i want to become stronger, but i have to admit that i’m dealing with an eating disorder and i’m trying to gain weight and i’m also feeling “forced” to go to the gym because if i gain weight it might be all fat and i’ll freak out. i also like to have more muscle on me , but people usually say working out makes them feel better. not for me, i feel worst, but i’m constantly also blaming working out because i feel worst while working out and i overthink about it a lot. i weightlift 3 days and i actually want to lift more days and do other sports or stuff, but since i don’t feel recovered i’m doing the same thing those 3 days and that also makes me lose motivation, because i want more but i feel like trash if i do more. so idk it seems weird because im losing motivation to go 3 days, but i also want to go more days hehe. maybe yeah it’t because i do the same things but even half way of my workouts i just sometimes want to leave because of how bad i feel thanks!