Day 9 Self-criticism

G

GFHandel

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Lately I’m mostly self-critical around job hunting and being unemployed, despite having an advanced degree and having applied for a TON of posted jobs. --Not even one interview in 2+1/2 years. I’m in panic mode because of financial straits, and I tend to turn that inward. I should have done MORE applications… If I’d only focused my education on this instead of that….. (as if I should have known). It has contributed to my feeling stuck, joyless and in pain.
 
Hang in there! Something will break. At least you know what is causing you stress and anxiety. Also, one of the things I'm realizing for myself is that there are things that I think are sources of stress/anxiety and when I go to a deeper level I realize there is some unconscious anger there as well. I am moving to another state in a month or 2. We are leaving our home of 30 years, where we raised our kids. And although I retired last year from 30+ years in my field (accounting/finance), I plan to get a part-time job in our new place. Mainly for something to do, creating some purpose, meeting people, as well as money. I am very fearful that I will not find a job, so your post struck a cord with me, though for different reasons.
 
GFHandel said:
Lately I’m mostly self-critical around job hunting and being unemployed, despite having an advanced degree and having applied for a TON of posted jobs. --Not even one interview in 2+1/2 years. I’m in panic mode because of financial straits, and I tend to turn that inward. I should have done MORE applications… If I’d only focused my education on this instead of that….. (as if I should have known). It has contributed to my feeling stuck, joyless and in pain.
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I totally understand being self-critical; I too have recently been out of work and job-hunting and found it very stressful, mainly because I beat myself up all the time about all the things I should be doing differently, the things I hadn't achieved, etc etc etc. I am VERY hard on myself, and hope that as I continue the journey, I will learn to be kinder to myself, as I hope you do too.
 
KathyVT said:
At least you know what is causing you stress and anxiety.
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And you are aware of Inner Critic activity which is very related to TMS. You're seeing some of the inner tension, which begins to undermine TMS when you connect it to symptoms. You're awareness of the Inner Critic activity also helps you gently disengage from it, because it is becoming conscious, less apt to "run you" in the background.

GFHandel said:
Maybe this kindness to ourselves will also have a good effect on our fates! Thanks for your well wishes.
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Ultimately it is all about kindness to ourselves, I think. I wish you much healing and support with this. You are on your way!
 
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