DontStopBelieving
Peer Supporter
even though my SEP gets interrupted by work and travelling, I'm happy with how much I manage to do and read. Some days it is only the SEP part, others I manage to continue reading Dr. Sarno's Divided Mind and also some other books. I have been feeling quite good last week but today I woke up with the strange feeling in my head again that has been moving around and is now similar to a tension headache with light-headedness. I know it is probably normal and that this time it took me a lot to get where I am and it will need more work, I'm just impatient. The difference is that I'm not in that panic mode anymore and hopefully I will manage to not overreact but understand this is just TMS fighting back. Something that happened today also made me think, I went to a zumba class and put on contact lenses because my glasses would definitely keep falling off my face during the class and if I don't wear them I'm basically blind. The whole time while having contact lenses on, I kept doing the automatic movement with my right hand of adjusting the glasses. Like my brain kept thinking I was still wearing them. That gave me physical proof of how our subconscious needs time to unlearn and adjust to new thinking. I also had a strange dream in which I was explaining to a girl I couldn't stand in high school how much she hurt me and why I had the need to lie about people and make me the centre of attention because I wasn't accepted as a person in school or at home. It was a revelation of how much my mind is still carrying around from such a long time ago. Something else that I discovered was the reason to reacting badly when working in an office or closed space. I think it is because I used to hide from my father when he was home by closing myself in my room. Even though I felt safe in the room, I also felt trapped with nowhere to go.
