Day 8 second week

even though my SEP gets interrupted by work and travelling, I'm happy with how much I manage to do and read. Some days it is only the SEP part, others I manage to continue reading Dr. Sarno's Divided Mind and also some other books. I have been feeling quite good last week but today I woke up with the strange feeling in my head again that has been moving around and is now similar to a tension headache with light-headedness. I know it is probably normal and that this time it took me a lot to get where I am and it will need more work, I'm just impatient. The difference is that I'm not in that panic mode anymore and hopefully I will manage to not overreact but understand this is just TMS fighting back. Something that happened today also made me think, I went to a zumba class and put on contact lenses because my glasses would definitely keep falling off my face during the class and if I don't wear them I'm basically blind. The whole time while having contact lenses on, I kept doing the automatic movement with my right hand of adjusting the glasses. Like my brain kept thinking I was still wearing them. That gave me physical proof of how our subconscious needs time to unlearn and adjust to new thinking. I also had a strange dream in which I was explaining to a girl I couldn't stand in high school how much she hurt me and why I had the need to lie about people and make me the centre of attention because I wasn't accepted as a person in school or at home. It was a revelation of how much my mind is still carrying around from such a long time ago. Something else that I discovered was the reason to reacting badly when working in an office or closed space. I think it is because I used to hide from my father when he was home by closing myself in my room. Even though I felt safe in the room, I also felt trapped with nowhere to go.

 

Hi. That dream could mean you need to do some journaling on that issue of feeling not being accepted at school and at home. It's sad that you had to hide from your father. There must be a major issue there for you to journal about. On the plus side, it's great that you went to the zumba class. Exercise that is also fun is the best.