1. Alan has completed the new Pain Recovery Program. To read or share it, use this updated link: https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/painrecovery/
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Day 1 Second Time with TMS

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by Rajput21, May 17, 2017.

  1. Rajput21

    Rajput21 Peer Supporter

    Hello all.

    It was nine years ago that I first began struggling with back pain. Initially, a round of physical therapy "cured" the pain. However, my relief was short-lived. At the time I was in graduate school and in a particularly stressful environment. Fast forward another five years and I was still struggling with the back pain. I had taken two medical leaves from school and even left the country to seek out alternatives with eastern medicine. Like many others, when I was first introduced to Sarno and TMS, I was skeptical and dismissive. Eventually, I was became desperate enough to try anything and gave the TMS diagnosis a fair shake. It took a few weeks, but I moved past the back pain and along the way, became mentally healthier.

    Unfortunately, I never looked back.

    Six months ago I began to experience symptoms of plantar fasciitis. In the year leading up to the plantar fasciitis, I had struggled with some foot issues and had reluctantly starting wearing orthotics. When the heel pain started and I was diagnosed with plantar fasciitis, it really made sense to me. My feet had gotten weak from wearing clunky dress shoes in my new professional work life, I moved into the city and was hardly barefoot, and orthotics are known to weaken the feet. Got it. However, once the pain started, I became obsessed with getting better. I read everything I could on foot mobility, improving motor control, strengthening the foot, strengthening and mobilizes the tissues and muscles that would affect the foot like the hip. But still, the pain was not getting better. In fact, it was actually getting worse.

    A couple of weeks ago I found myself feeling unusually depressed. I hope this makes sense: a woman that I wasn't interested in dating, but who I thought was very interested in dating me, turned out to not be interested in dating me, after all. The rejection from this woman who I had already mentally rejected, really made me feel awful. It was then that I noticed that the foot pain had in fact intensified tremendously and I was having symptoms that no longer fit the plantar fasciitis diagnosis. I also knew that the level of depression I was feeling, was not something that I could sustain.

    So here I am, back again. In some ways I feel very comfortable to be back in the Structured Educational Program. I know I haven't been taking care of myself mentally and I know I've fallen back into mental patterns and self-talk that is harmful to myself. I suppose any doubts that I still have about the TMS diagnosis stem from all of the mental conditioning I have done in the last six months that absolutely convinced me that I had plantar fasciitis. Additionally, unlike with the back pain, which lasted five years and in which I exhausted all of the options that I could, this pain has only been around for six months. I do have some lingering doubts about the TMS diagnosis this time around, but I'm hopeful that they will pass. I found a few threads in the forums specifically discussing plantar fasciitis and other foot pain; those posts really helped.

    Thank you to anyone who took the time to read all of this! Last time around, the support I got from this community was critical to my success with the program and with becoming pain free.
    Ellen and jaumeb like this.
  2. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, Rajput21. I think your pain may have come on from that woman turning you down. Even though you lost interest in her, her rejection may be affecting you. That may have triggered emotions regarding past rejection. You could journal about that. You also need to increase your belief in TMS, that emotions are causing your pain. You might partially heal from not totally believing in TMS, but total healing requires 100 percent TMS belief. I think you are going to find the SEProgram very helpful and especially the journaling. Give yourself lots of positive self-talk. Tell yourself and visualize yourself that you are already healed. Keep us posted.
  3. Rajput21

    Rajput21 Peer Supporter

    Thanks for the support, Walt!

    I think you're totally right about rejection being an issue. I added it to my TMS List and will think some more on it.
  4. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Good thing to do. A TMS list will lead you to wellness.

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