Sarno - Deep Emotions

[Diana-M]

I cannot simply "not care" about the symptoms. Indeed, it gets boring but it is there and never goes away. I have not been able to read a book, watch a movie or do anything relaxing in months because of this. The pains are so debilitating that I don;t think most people in my life understands just how bad it is.

Mike, I just wanted to say I’m really sorry to hear how bad it is for you. I don’t have pain sitting, thank God. I can’t imagine how hard that must be. But I have pain walking and literally doing anything. Severe pain to get something out of the refrigerator. Pain to get a dish out of the dishwasher. It just beats you down. And then people say, the only real cure is to get on with life… and then your question becomes, what kind of life can I get on with? I think for me when I have good days (and some days are terrible like today. I literally feel like I’m in a black hole)— on good days, I look at my life differently. I take what I can do —whatever that may be —and that’s “living” for me. I’m thankful for what I can do on those days —not resentful. And then, I try to expand on it just ever so slightly. Maybe you can imagine sitting in a chair, or sit in a chair for one minute. And then tomorrow two minutes. I’m not sure how it will work for you. But, when I stop fighting and just go belly up— that’s when the blackness really pours in.

Everyone here testifies to Sarno‘s methods. That also helps keep me steady. And it makes me think maybe I just haven’t done the right Sarno method yet. So I have to keep challenging my symptoms and I have to keep fighting on. I just hope you don’t give up the fight because there has to be a way. Even if it’s slow as molasses, there has to be a way.

 

[Cactusflower]

I understand what you are saying, and perhaps this might work for mild pains. However, the pains I am experiencing is so severe that sitting on a normal chair has the sensation of sitting on rocks on the buttocks. The pain has been so bad at times I ended up in tears from the agony. That is why it took me so long to accept the TMS diagnosis because I found it too hard to accept that my brain would do this to me. But .... it is ... there is no tissue damage, injury, cancers, tumors etc and I meet most of the criteria for TMS. I cannot simply "not care" about the symptoms. Indeed, it gets boring but it is there and never goes away. I have not been able to read a book, watch a movie or do anything relaxing in months because of this. The pains are so debilitating that I don;t think most people in my life understands just how bad it is.

I was absolutely there. Sitting pain was only one of my symptoms. I could also not stand or walk. I had back pain, pseudo seizures, and could not reach my arms out more than a foot on a good day. I couldn’t even get to the toilet without help. I was depressed, afraid and ready to end it all. The TMS work for me was incredibly hard to do because I was only thinking of my pain and was convinced that was my only choice. But journaling did, just for seconds break that cycle. I did somatic tracking laying down until I could do it standing and in the shower or getting changed. Then I began doing it sitting. I could only sit for seconds. But gradually I could increase the time. This was all only in one chair, mind you. I sat only in one chair for a year before I gave that one away and bought a new one.. and started the process to learn to sit in multiple chairs.
Understand that part of TMS for some minds is that nobody can understand your discomfort or pain. This is false. We have all had real, unimaginable pain and often more. People often also feel that without finding an exact symptom match story we can’t possibly accept TMS. It’s all the brain in protection mode.
One of the things that helped me most was, besides Claire Weekes Hope And Help For Your Nerves which is short and was easy to read (as re Sarno’s books, both good places to start re-trading your brain to accept re-direction to read again). You will get instructive techniques to work with your mind to help conquer your limiting thoughts. I had to put the “I can’ts” and “buts” to rest, and knuckle down to prove to myself I could. I refuse to let my symptoms get the best of me or control me. Days were rough.
I read @TG957 ’s book
Defying The Verdict: How I Defeated Chronic Pain and this gave me hope. I still keep this slim little book my bedside.
Tamara’s path and mine where not the same but it was her spirit, determination, her refusal to be a victim of circumstance that spoke to me.
You’ll find something that helps you get through this too.
The first step is to decide on your path. You have begin with choosing EMDR to help, but you need to find something that you do, that is self-directed too. I think you might do well following the free Alan Gordon program here as a start. It’s shorter and teaches some skills that help teach re-direction of the mind. https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/painrecovery/

I did this, and then the other, longer free program a month later. It teaches different skills.

 

[Diana-M]

@Cactusflower,
You and @TG957 both keep me going every day. Thank you for this awesome post!

 

[BloodMoon]

and some days are terrible like today. I literally feel like I’m in a black hole

When I've been, and on occasion still find myself, in a dark place/'black hole', I deliberately slow down everything. I perform what I can do (even if it's with sometimes great difficulty) in slow motion, and if I keep with it, I find that I gradually start to mentally feel better and leave that dark place. Even though one's movements may be already slow due to pain and/or stiffness, it's usually possible to slow them down even more.... and, of course, almost any movement/task can be performed in slow motion, brushing one's teeth, chopping vegetables etc. The concentration and attention this requires takes the mind away from dark and otherwise unhelpful thoughts and generally slows down thinking. It also serves to show the brain that one's going to do whatever task one's engaged in 'come what may' and - because the brain will recognise that one's 'lingering' in doing the task - that it is safe to do so.

 

[Diana-M]

When I've been, and on occasion still find myself, in a dark place/'black hole', I deliberately slow down everything. I perform what I can do (even if it's with sometimes great difficulty) in slow motion, and if I keep with it, I find that I gradually start to mentally feel better and leave that dark place. Even though one's movements may be already slow due to pain and/or stiffness, it's usually possible to slow them down even more.... and, of course, almost any movement/task can be performed in slow motion, brushing one's teeth, chopping vegetables etc. The concentration and attention this requires takes the mind away from dark and otherwise unhelpful thoughts and generally slows down thinking. It also serves to show the brain that one's going to do whatever task one's engaged in 'come what may' and - because the brain will recognise that one's 'lingering' in doing the task - that it is safe to do so.

Great suggestion, @BloodMoon ! Thanks, my friend!

 

[Sita]

Same here, I slow down and perform my duties like a turtle. Very slowly. And, even though I might be in a depressed mood, I appreciate everything that I do. Even if it's a small thing. Cutting potatoes, knitting a few rows to my sweater/project, doing the dishes etc.

Another point when in despair...is to forget about yourself, me, I, mine and go and help someone else. It doesn't have to be something big, donating money or I don't know what else. It can be a phone call to someone in need, a friend or a neighbor, coworker etc. Offering some type of helping attention to others can alleviate their suffering in some small way. And it can help you to feel better as well.