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Sanity check me, please! Is this TMS?!

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by amesbee83, Jan 25, 2024.

  1. amesbee83

    amesbee83 New Member

    Hey everyone.
    I am so happy and relieved to have found this forum a couple of weeks ago. I’ve been doing some digging around on here and so many of the stories you’ve been kind enough to share have quelled my anxiety. I’m looking for some validation, please on what I really think could be TMS, that I’m suffering from.

    It’s been a fairly traumatic year. On top of losing our home, I was taken into hospital with a burst appendix, which resulted in sepsis. On my first day post op, I was overdosed on codeine, which resulted in 7 minutes of moderate hypoxia - I was awake but could not feel my arms or legs and my brain was on fire. Anyway, I made it home from hospital and started a good recovery…all was well until I was called and told the appendix scan had picked up an anomaly - a tumour on my kidney. I was lucky, I was referred to a great urologist and the kidney tumour is benign. My husband and I cried with happiness…it was a job well done and we could get on with life.

    Then suddenly, around a week after this great news, I was hit with the most horrendous collarbone pain and right abdomen pain. I went to the emergency hospital and several tests were performed…all clear, it was musculoskeletal and I just needed to relax…and so I relaxed…things were improving.

    10 days later I woke up after a night out with friends, during which I witnessed a traumatic event. I did not suffer a physical injury. But in the morning, all my arms and legs were weak and buckling. I described it as numbness but I could feel everything, they were heavy, light, weak, sometimes tingling. But all my arms and legs, and extending up into my face. Back to the emergency hospital where I’m told maybe Guillain Barre or MS, which sends me deeper into a spiral of panic.

    Since then the weakness has disappeared but I’ve had a string of symptoms which don’t match with any structural disorder:

    Collarbone and rotator cuff pain;
    Weakness in my hands but when I go to do something, I’m really strong;
    Muscles twitching all over (every limb);
    A stomach pain which, when palpated, results in agonising pain in both collarbones (even though my understanding is that this could never structurally be the case);
    Numbness and tingling in my left hand and forearm - my little finger won’t bend fully;
    Pain in my neck and the middle of my back;
    Twitching and perception of heat in my jaw and the side of my face;
    Pain shooting up my neck into my scalp, like electric shocks…

    There’s more! But since I found out about TMS and started doing the work, the symptoms really move around. I’ve developed health anxiety and it’s like my brain knows about symptoms I haven’t read up on and gives me those, because it knows I research the hell out of everything - perfect distraction!

    I have had CT and MRI scans, full autoimmune bloods, Vitamin B panel, FBC, tropical diseases screening, creatinine kinase (check for muscle wastage), vitamin D screening, thyroid, liver and kidney screening and everything is clear! I don’t FEEL unwell aside from when I am dizzy, weak or off balance. I do have a lot of brain fog, though.

    I also fit the profile of perfectionist/people pleaser and had a horrendous childhood that involved me being dumped off by my mum and sexually abused. I tried to seek validation around this in 2020 but found I could gain no recognition or acceptance from her, which resulted in such despair that I was suicidal. I always say that I think I came back from that fairly well but maybe it’s buried?

    Sorry for the really long post but I am seeking sanity checking here…is this TMS??

    Thank you to anyone who took the time to read this and thank you even more for your thoughts, if you have any to offer.
    Last edited: Jan 25, 2024
  2. TG957

    TG957 Beloved Grand Eagle

    Many neurological symptoms can be TMS. I have had brain fog, muscle weakness, involuntary muscle contraction and twitching, numbness and neuropathy in all limbs and upper back. It was all TMS and I recovered 100%. I know that people on this forum reported recovery from tinnitus and dizziness. Brain fog is a very common symptom for people with anxiety and chronic pain. The rule of thumb is that the weirder your symptoms are, the more they are spread over your body, the more likely it is TMS.
    PainNoMore and amesbee83 like this.
  3. amesbee83

    amesbee83 New Member

    Thank you so much for taking the time to respond, I really appreciate it. Yes, the symptoms are so wide and so nonsensical that it seems like the perfect distraction. A couple of days ago my legs were twitching and I jokingly said ‘Oh, you’re trying that again, are you?!’. I bet you can guess what happened…stopped immediately!
    TG957 likes this.
  4. TG957

    TG957 Beloved Grand Eagle

    You are in the right place. Start with the success stories subforum and then look at all the free resources available on the TMS Wiki. Good luck!
    amesbee83 likes this.
  5. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi there @amesbee83 and welcome. I agree with @TG957 that you are in the right place, since you've been medically checked out more than enough!

    I'm endlessly amazed by the variation and ultimately the mystery of how, why and when physical symptoms of stress and trauma end up showing themselves for different people during their lifetimes. If you do this work you will probably discover evidence that your health anxiety and symptoms did not just start last year.
    I suspect you're going to find that this is significant. I think that you would find it very useful to answer the ten-question "quiz" related to the study of Adverse Childhood Experiences, aka "ACEs". I created this post about it:
    https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/aces-quiz-printable-version.27061/#post-139883 (ACEs "quiz" - printable version)
    The quiz might be a good starting point for the emotional journey that you now need to take in order to find peace and healing - if nothing else, it will give you plenty of material for the exercises in our free Structured Educational Program (on the main tmswiki.org site). In the thread above, be sure to read all of the comments (there are some good ones) and of course read the article online that's associated with the quiz.

    Perhaps for future consideration (when you're ready), this is a comprehensive article (second of a series) about processing adverse childhood experiences: Moving Forward After Adverse Childhood Experiences: Forgiveness | Psychology Today For better or worse (it's tragic there is such a need) there are MANY easily-accessible resources on this vital issue.

    Keep us posted - speaking of which, your apology is completely unnecessary (goodist much?) I'm afraid that your introduction above doesn't even begin to qualify as long - and it's a far cry from "really" long. If you peruse the Success Stories forum for the most recent one (it's dated January 15) you'll see just one example of what I'm talkin' about...:hilarious:

    Good luck!

    amesbee83 and TG957 like this.
  6. amesbee83

    amesbee83 New Member

    Thank you so much for your response. And yes, I’m always apologising!
    Thank you for taking the time to point me in helpful directions from the get-go. I really think my mind has known this has been coming for years - I have tried to seek counselling and do work on my childhood traumas for years now but it’s like the universe finds ways of intervening (of course, it’s not the universe…it’s my brain telling me it’s too scary to let out…and so here I am).
    I appreciate your guidance!
    JanAtheCPA likes this.

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