Sadness vs Anger

[Jacqui9]

A lot of what I've read regarding TMS talks about having a lot of anger than needs to be released. I don't feel that I have any anger that I haven't dealt with but I do feel I have a lot of sadness that I need to work on. Can sadness bring on TMS? Thanks for any insight.

 

[Misha]

I have been wondering this too. I once had someone tell me that all anger is really just sadness but I'm not sure if that is true?

 

[Bex]

Its a good question because although different life events create different feelings for different people, overall, I think most feel both but in varying degrees. If you take the first 5 events from the most stressfull list in The Mindbody Prescription and think about how they make you feel, I bet most people would come up with feeling both sadness and anger in each case.

1. Death of a spouse
2. Divorce
3. Marital Separation
4. Jail term
5. Death of close family member

Interesting to note that the top 5 all involve losing people.

 

[Misha]

That is interesting, about the top five all involving losing people. I just finished reading Steve Ozanich's book (GPD) and he has a big focus on 'separation' (or fear of separation) in early life from parents etc. as setting you up to develop the TMS personality.

 

[Bex]

The scale was modified for “non-adults” and is scored in the same way:

1. Death of a parent: 100
2. Unplanned pregnancy/abortion: 100
3. Getting married: 95
4. Divorce of parents: 90
5. Acquiring a visible deformity: 80
6. Fathering a child: 70
7. Jail sentence of a parent for over one year: 70
8. Marital separation of parents: 69
9. Death of a sibling: 68
10. Change in acceptance by peers: 67

I find the notion of No. 5 quite disturbing...how vain have we become!
Update to include top 10 as its quite interesting.

 

[Susan1111]

For me I believe sometimes my feeling of sadness covers up my inability to feel comfortable with anger..... its situational.

 

[KevinB]

I don't feel that I have any anger that I haven't dealt with

This can be tricky because according to the TMS theory, it's the anger/rage that we are not aware of at a conscious level that causes problems.... But I've been finding that it's not even so much necessary to uncover and deal with that unconscious anger, as it is to believe that it's there and that our personalities are the leading cause for it... I don't know, this stuff is very difficult to practice, but I keep reminding myself that thousands of people, including myself at one point, have healed 100% from taking this approach and believing in it, so it does/will work for me (and you) also.

 

[mike2014]

This is an interesting thread.

I quite like this Ted Talk:

Btw, what are your thoughts on silent tears?

 

[Markus]

This can be tricky because according to the TMS theory, it's the anger/rage that we are not aware of at a conscious level that causes problems.... But I've been finding that it's not even so much necessary to uncover and deal with that unconscious anger, as it is to believe that it's there and that our personalities are the leading cause for it... I don't know, this stuff is very difficult to practice, but I keep reminding myself that thousands of people, including myself at one point, have healed 100% from taking this approach and believing in it, so it does/will work for me (and you) also.

From Steve Ozanich's The Great Pain Deception;

The epiphany that led to my own healing was the understanding that I was furious inside, but never felt it, except through the multitude and severity of my symptoms. I had my light bulb moment when I bought a videotape by Dr. Sarno where he emphasized, “the rage that is causing your pain, you will never feel.” Even though he wrote and wrote and wrote about repression, which I understood at an intellectual level, I didn’t remember him saying those very words, that the rage is not felt. He stated, “Any anger you’re aware of has nothing to do with TMS.” And so, I truly didn’t understand repression at an elemental level. Repression means you have paralyzed your feeling of that emotion associated with that event.

Someone on the forum here brought this to my attention. If Dr Sarno says"we will never feel the rage that is causing your pain", how on earth can we possibly remember it.
I have had to change my entire thinking about how andwhen I aquired tms due to this information.
I now realize that the first traumatic thing that I remember was in 1969 at age 6.
so if one remembers, isn't that feeling it?
so for me I have had to realize that whatever caused my TMS happened before 1969! so I am reading this chapter 26 over and over and doing what it says to do.

 

[Jacqui9]

Thank you for all the comments.