Return of Almost All of My Symptoms(Felt Much Better After Writing This)

For the past few days, I've gotten back to a regular schedule, with physical activity and I'm ramping up studying as the school term comes to a close. I have a bit of catching up to do in one class but I've worked out everything with my teachers and classmates and am in the process of getting it done. My anxiety has been fairly consistent but I've noticed my symptoms were particularly bad today. I did some meditation and got a bit of work done, and my anxiety was about the same things that have been on my mind for a while. Along with joint pressure, occipital neuralgia, reflux, chest burning, tension headaches, soles changing color a bit when cold, bloating sensation, general aches (fibro like), I've also been getting strong cramps once in a while in the pelvic region. I know that I happen to be dealing with a particularly stubborn case of TMS, but to the ladies, do your symptoms sometimes intensify before or during your periods? This happened to me for one period but I had a more normal flare for another. I just want to focus on my life and not spend much time either wallowing or on the TMS technique try and see what works kind of thing. I guess either I don't do it enough or I do it incorrectly. Yes I'm impatient, fearful, googling, crying etc. and I'm working on it and aware of it every day. I choose not to tap out and see it for what it is no matter how difficult it is. I've been struggling against my mind and some days I win, some days I don't. I make it a point to try my best even if it's not consistent. This month has been symptom imperative after symptom imperative and despite reading and doing different recommended techniques between studying, as well as improving my sleep/self care, this is where I'm at. On top of my skin getting a little thinner/tightening around my fingers and some sinus flareups, if I get any worse I'd need more blood tests etc and we're in the middle of a pandemic so trying to get better again and I'm grateful to be staying mostly steady. This is the only thing I can trust even when I have doubts, because I can address them. I would love an organized plan for outcome independence since I don't know how to tackle it- I just don't end up doing it because the flare up dies down on its own or I get more upset/anxious instead to the point I burst out in tears (I oscillate between worrying and pain and rarely feel them together now). My body automatically suppresses feelings and I'm having trouble getting it not to do that. I feel numb and cold a lot too, especially in my face. Thought of mentioning a little timeline but that doesn't matter in the big picture- had some family issues in the past that I'm mostly over and the triggering event was Zoloft withdrawal. Just want to get my flu shot soon without another severe flare up.

 

Almost the same today

 

Hi Balsa11. You asked about symptoms getting worse.... You asked about symptoms. And that's just what they want. That's what keeps them alive. I can't tell you how many years I spent alternately ignoring symptoms, because they were just always there, and searching for every possible pattern and reason. Until I started to understand TMS. That's what our brain can do, as it tries to keep us from going deep, from feeling, from seeing our personality types. We are so afraid of what we will find. I know I was. I consider myself 'a success' with TMS, AND I still spend time each morning meditating, praying, journalling, and breathing. Today I cracked open one of the books again. It's an ongoing re-education, and for me, it has been so worth it.