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Resistant to TMS knowledge?

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by osca aelius, Dec 17, 2018.

  1. osca aelius

    osca aelius Peer Supporter

    I currently experience full blown TMS fear and pain. The pain isnt that bad, but the fear is there every seconds of the day. No matter how much i read about TMS success story or TMS knowledge, i still fear my symptoms. I started to fear anything, and i also analyze why do i feel on alert when there is nothing to fear?

    It feels like im resistant to TMS knowledge and think im an exceptional person who suffer from something else that cant be rid with TMS knowledge. Anyone can help?

    I never feel so hopeless like this before, i dont know why i feel like this and keep questioning and analyzing. If i experience TMS symptoms, i will started to obsess and analyze why it happens, even though i realize emotional distress could cause it, my brain would never stop analyzing and being resistant to just let it be.

    Need guidance and help from all member on this forums :(

    I really want to accept my symptoms to heal and move one, but i cant seem to accept it.

    Thank you for reading anyway.
     
    Last edited: Dec 17, 2018
  2. Free of Fear

    Free of Fear Well known member

    I hear you my friend. I really do. I don't have long to respond so let me just say that I strongly think Claire Weekes talks could be really useful for you. We need to find courage, move forward, and become so absorbed and immersed in meaningful activities that symptoms are no longer of concern to us.
    And check out affirmations, look up ACE1's detailed tips (not just the summarized ones) on how to do this Moment by moment, because it really is a moment-by- moment struggle.
    You can do it, because you are strong and you are loving and you have everything inside of you that you need to heal.
     
    Coffeeplease likes this.
  3. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi osca,

    Yes, Free of Fear makes a wonderful, loving post. Great attunement to your situation, and I hope you follow his advice re ACE's work
    http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/condensed-version-repeating-the-keys-to-healing-by-ace1.17783/#post-94663/ (Condensed version "Repeating the keys to healing" by Ace1)
    and Claire Weekes.

    You're having anxiety on top of your symptoms, and it is feeding back on itself. This is very common, and nothing to be afraid of. If you can understand that the fear/anxiety is OK, this is a huge help. Part of what you're doing, I think is to make yourself more afraid:

    I think an important step is to know this whole loop is natural and know that there is nothing wrong or dangerous here. You are not making yourself worse! Allow the fear and anxiety knowing you're not making symptoms worse! We all get caught in these thinking cycles. It is simply part of our TMS journey.

    "I am healing myself even if I'm anxious and monitor things sometimes."
    and/also "My healing does not depend on me keeping track of symptoms. I'm OK."

    Engage the Stuctured Education Program and others at the Wiki too! Take constructive action, and don't worry about doing it perfectly!

    Treat your fear of the symptoms as the TMS itself as you do these programs.

    Andy B
     
    Coffeeplease and readytoheal like this.
  4. osca aelius

    osca aelius Peer Supporter

    Hello free of fear and Andy b

    Im happy to see all your reply.
    Yes i have read ace1 repeating keys to healing, i got calm for a little while before i become obsessed with TMS again. His writing is so powerful.

    As for claire weekes, yes i have been familiar with her works, and use her method to overcome my anxiety a few years ago. So reading her material doesnt give me the kick anymore.

    I developed TMS after being broken hearted, first symptoms that make me freak out is tinnitus and followed by oher symptoms. Many recovered TMS people seem to be able to use claire method for TMS, but it was hard for me since anxiety doesnt equal pain for me. I never knew that emotional distress could cause physical pain until i learn about TMS.

    Its the pain feeling that keeps me alert 24 hours. Its like i refuse to believe in claire weekes method for dealing with TMS pain. Mind you, the pain itself isnt that bad, but i seem to be hyperfocused with the symptoms and it flares the pain & anxiety.

    My question is, how to deal with my resistance? How do i treat pain as how i treat anxiety? So i can use the acceptance method like in the past. Because i resist so much, feeling that i have something weird or unexplainable. I realize there are so many worse sufferer on this forum. But it really feels so hard to accept TMS symptoms.

    Much love to you guys, who are always being supportive during my tough times <3
     
  5. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi osca,

    I wonder what kind of professional help you are getting? Is it helping?

    Remember that as Alan Gordon says: the fear is trying to keep you safe. Treat the resistance and fear as you would TMS. Observe, reassure yourself, think psychological.

    You are welcome, and I hope something someone says gives you a great clue to move forward.

    Andy B
     
  6. osca aelius

    osca aelius Peer Supporter

    Unfortunately i never get professional help Andy B. Family doesnt give support to my condition ever since the first time i suffer from anxiety. That caused me to search much about anxiety on the internet and try to deal with it myself. I still remember the horror of living wtih anxiety every seconds of the day, without knowledge of what happened to me and my parents doesnt help either.

    Im currently a last semester university student. I will have a job in no time and able to support myself. In the meantime, i try to handle this all alone and with the helps of beloved people on this forums :)
     
  7. Coffeeplease

    Coffeeplease Peer Supporter

    I can completely understand where you are at right now, please don't feel alone.

    For me, I was terrified of all of my symptoms...and then I got mad :) Mad at people who had hurt me, mad at my pain, really really angry. I think when I started to feel that way towards the pain and anxiety something just clicked in my head. I honestly didn't care anymore. I didn't care whether I was in pain, anxious, or the burning of my skin from the psoriasis. It wasn't a depressed state of mind but I did decide to completely let go, of everything. The worry, so what if I never walk again? I was tired of being completely consumed every moment by my physical ailments.

    I read Claire Weekes (I know you've mentioned you have read her work). You may want to keep working on accepting the pain as TMS and revisiting that idea again and again, daily, every moment, every twinge. It truly is a process of rewiring your brain. Take back your power, you do have control. Let that knowledge bring you hope and strength.

    I am still on the mend and I am so very grateful at how far I have come. 3 months ago I was in the ER and couldn't walk without a walker, and covered in psoriasis. The skin issue is taking me longer and I know it's because I/we are programmed that psoriasis is an autoimmune disorder. It is healing, as I emotionally heal.

    I started back up an old hobby, crocheting, which I really enjoy. When I started to make a blanket, I didn't think about or feel any pain and anxiety. So I am doing that more and more and at the end I'll have a really awesome afghan. Find something that can take your mind off it, even if it's only for a few moments to start. Trust me, if you keep at it you will get better.

    Be patient my friend and don't give up hope.
     
    Last edited: Dec 18, 2018
    Dorado and Free of Fear like this.
  8. Tms_joe

    Tms_joe Well known member

    You seem to understand that there is nothing to fear. You KNOW this, but you can’t shutdown the thinking. Your ego has taken hold. No amount of thinking will change anything. You have to detach from those emotions and feelings. Observe them, but don’t let them take over. It’s not easy, but don’t stress. It’s not a race.
     
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