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Reframing with acceptance and other ways

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by Eric "Herbie" Watson, Dec 22, 2012.

  1. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    our life force is always lifeward but if we use our minds to focus on doubts and pain
    then our life force is put in a state of surpression
    try to look at your worries as a time that you can reverse the hurt and think in
    a positive manner through acceptance or re-framing
    re-framing is simple-take a memorie you might have had from the past or any current stressor
    and think about it as you perceive it -if you perceive it in a bad or negative way
    then think what was the best that i could have done in that situation or put yourself in the other
    persons shoes like an alcoholic father and maybe he was drinking because he needed help but you
    were just a child at the time and you thought it was because of you-go back to that memorie-see yourself
    as a young person -step into your shoes then and think i can handle this now that im an adult
    if it is close to you-then push it back-rearange it-if its in color make it black and white-
    theres a few ways to re-frame but i think you get the pitchure-when were to face our repression or deep seated surpressions
    we need to do it with an awareness that when i see this thought in my mind-im going to change it to the best possible outcome and accept that-if that seems hard then change the color of the pic as i said above and put funny faces on the person that might have hurt you (-in other words weaken the representation by changeing your fear by using courage and reframing-)
    its not easy at first but you will accomplish it in due time
    when the thought of a bad outcome enters your mind
    reverse it with automatically thinking your going to get the best outcome in the world
    true acceptance is so much more than positive thinking-you need to use that power too though
    do it with ease,not to pressure yourself as weekes said,just reverse the pattern to a good thought
    this sounds simple ,but with practice and perserverance we can change our thoughts in time
    take any bad thought as a time to practice and thank god for the vally so you can learn to be happy
    by this reverse conditioning you will be doing,
    at first it will seem that every bad thought available will be thrown at ya
    but in due time as the apostle paul said i thank god in my weakness,because at this time i am made strong
    see i know this was how jesus wanted us to reframe our thinking when he said thru the holy spirit to paul
    (be not conformed to this world but be ye trans formed by the re-newing of your mind) Romans 12:2
    Forest and Jilly like this.
  2. Forest

    Forest Beloved Grand Eagle

    Great post. You've really been writing some good ones.

    Reframing, acceptance, and even weakening the memory by not taking it seriously (smiley face) are great ideas, well supported by research. (Reframing = CBT but can be used in other approaches as well, including psychoanalysis, according to at least one psychologist close to Dr. Sarno; Acceptance = Acceptance and Commitment Therapy; weakening the memory reminds me of some techniques from Peter Levine's work on Somatic Experiencing - rather than humor, he uses a focus on the body (a "somatic experience") to weaken the memory of a trauma.)

    Crucial, of course, is staying honest. You don't want to use these techniques to hide the truth. Rather, you want to have the courage to face the truth (which we can't always know we have) and use these techniques to help us adjust to our clear-eyed acceptance of the truth.
    eric watson and veronica73 like this.
  3. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    (Forest quote):
    Crucial, of course, is staying honest. You don't want to use these techniques to hide the truth. Rather, you want to have the courage to face the truth (which we can't always know we have) and use these techniques to help us adjust to our clear-eyed acceptance of the truth

    ....forest thanks so much-and merry christmas forest-your a great benefit to us all-where would all the storys of hope and belief come from /
    i want to thank you forest for leading our direction to the pinnacle of our heart-to love self is a powerful concept
    and to acheive it seems to be such a workload at times
    but if we put the same energy into a simple context,then nothing is impossible
    ....we accept the truth- all our flaws ,disappointments and setbacks -
    see them in a new state,context,frame of mind,attitude with the congruency of the mind and body working in unison
    creating a time of peace -hope and growth-
    see we need these times of acceptance so we can see the true treasures away from the blinders of despair...
    its really simple just float into it-step over-grab ahold of-take back-correct what we have been robbed of by our perceived self
    we really are warriors and acheivers only held back by conditioning-the acceptance of the truth is the final frontier-
    i receieved this before i got healed but i had a new understanding of it after i got healed-
    an experience of honest truth that this really works.....thats our main doubt the whole time is (does this really work?...)
    my answer to that question-can a hundred thousand at least be wrong.now i know we dont keep up with to many numbers but just think...
    its awesome isnt it....:)
    Jilly likes this.
  4. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    this is crucial we have to do the work that has been laid out in front of us and face all those bad memories rather that surpress them more
    but we have to move ahead then and be at peace with the acceptance that weve done what we didnt want to do -now im going to stay
    in the zone as time walks by and we acheive our goal of self acheivement....
    Jilly likes this.
  5. Jilly

    Jilly Well known member

    I think I get it... this is fantastic material you two. I am sitting here reflecting the truths, to what each of you said and applying it to my life situations. I get it and it's working out just as each of you describes ! I will be re-reading this post and re-reading it...very good material in here ! ;)
    eric watson likes this.
  6. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    jilly you did get it-if you perceive the truth -your probably right,
    god bless and merry christmas
  7. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Thanks Eric and Forest. Merry Christmas everyone. And I just found this...

    The man Martin Luther King Jr. called "an apostle of peace and nonviolence" has been a teacher, writer and vocal opponent of war. Here, Thich Nhat Hanh shares a few words of wisdom.

    ~ "Freedom is not given to us by anyone; we have to cultivate it ourselves. It is a daily practice... No one can prevent you from being aware of each step you take or each breath in and breath out." ~

    ~ "People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar." ~

    ~ "Enlightenment is always there. Small enlightenment will bring great enlightenment. If you breathe in and are aware that you are alive—that you can touch the miracle of being alive—then that is a kind of enlightenment." ~

    ~ "Many people are alive but don't touch the miracle of being alive." ~

    ~ "It is possible to live happily in the here and now. So many conditions of happiness are available—more than enough for you to be happy right now. You don't have to run into the future in order to get more." ~

    ~ "People suffer because they are caught in their views. As soon as we release those views, we are free and we don't suffer anymore." ~

    ~ "Mindfulness helps you go home to the present. And every time you go there and recognize a condition of happiness that you have, happiness comes." ~

    ~ "Life is available only in the present. That is why we should walk in such a way that every step can bring us to the here and the now." ~

    ~ "When you love someone, the best thing you can offer is your presence. How can you love if you are not there?" ~

    ~ "To be loved means to be recognized as existing." ~

    ~ "Every thought you produce, anything you say, any action you do, it bears your signature." ~

    ~ "We have to continue to learn. We have to be open. And we have to be ready to release our knowledge in order to come to a higher understanding of reality." ~

    Read more: http://www.oprah.com/spirit/12-Inspiring-Quotes-From-Thich-Nhat-Hanh#ixzz2FyvEEkfz
  8. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    wow ,now thats dropping some knowledge on ya-thanks walt for these great truths-
    a word understood that can change our perception and our destiny
    you sure have grown by leaps and bounds -the heart of hope and courage is a heart
    that cant be denied..........
    Jilly likes this.
  9. Forest

    Forest Beloved Grand Eagle

    Thank you so much for your kind words, Eric. It is the support of people like you and the other forum posters and chatters that make all of this worth it.

    I really like your idea of reframing as well. One of the biggest ways that our childhood affects our present is through the way that we frame things. Do we see what we did right in a given situation and think about that, or do we see what we did wrong? Is the glass half full or half empty? Such a decision is crucial in that it determines how we see ourselves and the world. If we look for our failures, then we will find our failures, whereas if we look for our successes, we will find them as well. The same is true regarding what we find when we look outwardly at the world. If we look for other people's successes, then we will find them, and vice versa. In fact, no matter what we do, if we do it over and over again, we get very good at it, through the process of brain plasticity: if we spend all of our time criticizing (ourselves or others), then we become very good at criticizing. If we spend all of our time sending love out into the world (like Thich Nhat Hahn does) then we become extremely good at sending loving-kidness into the world. Numerous studies have documented this to the point where using an fMRI machine, we can even see how something like lovingkindness meditation, which sends love out into the world, increases the size of the brain areas devoted to compassion.

    So the question is, how do we change these automatic ways of framing our thoughts, that have such a large impact on our final conclusions. We actively reframe. This takes active energy, dilligence, and patience. After all, it can take many years to undo thought patterns that may have taken all of our lives to cement into place. Tapping into our own self-protective emotions can help as well. Alan Gordon gets genuinely angry when the voices of his own internal bully pop up.... genuinely angry. After all, what right do those thoughts have to derail his own happiness? I think it is a brilliant approach. We deserve to see ourselves as warriors for the constant battles that we fight. Whether we win or lose, at least we had the courage to fight, and, if we keep at it, figuring out what works for us, we will almost certainly win.
    Jilly likes this.
  10. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    Forest your so right-actively reframing-figuring out what works for us-time,(i want to talk some on time)
    i remember as a child at 15 learning the book pychocybernetics by maxwell maltz-
    now you can imagine i hid the book from my family because the word pycho was on it-
    i remember my brother looked at it and said -what r u reading man-i tried to explain and i believe i got
    about three words in when he walked away-i knew then he really wasnt intrested-
    i was though -i had real bad nervous tension then but it wasnt for that-i wanted to help myself understand my mind more
    then maybe i could learn to acheive my goals and get rid of this nervousness-now i had severe backpain at this time too
    but i didnt know i was on my way to achievement-in those days in my home if you looked at books like that-you were considered weak in spirit or crazy
    i never let that side line me-i always felt i was being pulled by an unseen hope that the answer was there waiting-
    i just had to keep turning the pages and learning-
    now in the time since i have been blessed to have that passion burn brighter as i accumilated more understanding-
    i remember edison and his resilance to acheive so that he did-i wasnt backing away,how come-the lessons i was learning was so fulfilling
    -(it was the journey that was as sweet as the prize)
    see i was always happy and content with the knowledge i had learnt-i understood from a book by a man that studied pav-lov
    not to think of to many things at once in order to help re-lieve the nervousness and by just stopping all the multi-tasking
    i was doing with my doubts, i learnt to have a new found calmness-
    now i could go into weekes and so much more on this subject but the point is
    i was re-leased of that issue at the hand of knowledge therapy
    now enter the back pain-i never knew out of all my studies till 2003 how we could heal ourselves physically if we didnt give up
    -i learnt this from a study in a magazine ,found on 1 sheet ,how we can heal and better if we dont give up-
    i believed and healed- (i just didnt know how to keep my healing )
    then a re-occurance happened and i thought i could go and apply that 1 sheet again but it didnt work this time
    and i fell into despair ,but still i knew the answer was waiting-ive always been able to find it before-
    but the back,ive never heard of mind power over the back,or for some reason those books passed me by
    -then i go into barnes and nobles and heres this one small seemingly simple book on back pain (john sarno-healing back pain)
    that said i could be healed if i really wanted it-was it possible?...(absolutely)....but this was everything i had studied all this time-
    it only worked in the pyche-not the body too....and 6 months later....dr .sarnos willingness to stand up and tell the truth set me free-now i know the power of all the studies ive done-now i know if its real or just words-let me say i know how to stay healed now-and if something was to occur-
    i know how to deal with it and make it obsolete-
    the thoughts of future aches and pains doesnt effect me anymore-i always worried if i was going to hurt again and i did-
    i know now how to ( heal mentally into the physical-) now..
    now i didnt mean to go into a long story of my recovery-but i want to say this so others will know
    it doesnt have to take 25 yrs of study-but it does take time and we accept that-we all heal at different times
    see now here we can help each other understand these truths in there simplicity-
    (re-framing was an awesome concept to help me get the tension out on my rd to recovery-
    it was great in how i could change a perception and feel different -in a good way-
    and the thought didnt bother me anymore-i had studied myself through to assurance)
    but at the same time just learning not to surpress was an awesome tool-and i tap mentally-but sarno was the foundation....
    we can learn right here on this forum from great minds like you forest and all of your webinars
    great books like ( sarnos healing back pain )-(-and steve ozanich the great pain deception-i credit steve and sarno for my total healing-and here at the ppd-tms forum, thanks to forest and help)
    funny how i was reading steveos book last night p.85,he said -(i know what causes pain now-it cant hold my attention any more)
    i had to put his book doun and think-thank you lord for this journey-
    see, we still can get mad ,if we want,-we still can think doubt if we want after healing and still obtain our healing-(your allowed to have healthy constructive anger-
    remember -be angry and sin not
    but why would we want to do what hurt us in the first place-and we dont know if going back to that old way of thinking is going to bring back on a re-occurance
    (i believe it would)-its like being addicted to something bad and we do the 12 steps -then we heal-and then we go back to our addiction and think were going to be fine-it doesnt work that way-but as people can see im not a buddist monk -your not-and steveo isnt-we just know its a better life-it was a great journey and were still on that journey-
    but your still going to be like you were before you got the pain -(of course now with the suit of armor )
    i remember getting a good sore from lifting weights and running and thats what i looked forward to -to grow in strength
    i still do all the weight lifting i want and im fine-i just get the good sore now-
    but i remember when my dog roxie almost died on me and i could feel this pain trying to rear its ugly head and thru acceptance and reframing i won that battle-
    you will heal ,to anyone reading this post-(i know you will-stay course -right forest) but you have to maintain your new found self too)
    you will not want to go back to all those doubtful thoughts
    -we just have to keep pace-stay in the race-keep at the journey....
    its an enlightening journey-the best ive ever felt in my life-its a gift only we can give to ourselves and then to others....
    -thank you forest again for your wisdom to extend the truth and never stop em coming my friend.....
    and walt keep em coming your really onto something special
    jilly thanks for all the support-its when people like you get these truths and then shares these truths ,
    that you come into an enlightenment and true healing .....
    Jilly likes this.
  11. tarala

    tarala Well known member

    I've found the Abraham take on the Law of Attraction to be incredibly helpful with this. It emphasizes that our emotions are our own best guidance system. So if I think a thought that feels true to me, like "They should appreciate me more," I might feel resentment or irritation. If I reframe it to something like, "They are doing the best they can. I appreciate my own efforts," I might feel a softening of the emotion. If I leap too far, for example, "They appreciate everything," I won't feel relief because I'm not sure I believe it. This is why sometimes affirmations don't work.

    So the idea is to reframe slowly but surely, and sort of crawl up the emotional ladder. Like Forest says, it takes active energy, but it leaves me sure that my emotional reality is totally umder my control, even if the rest of this messy beautiful planet is not.
    eric watson and Jilly like this.
  12. Jilly

    Jilly Well known member

    When Forest and Eric start chatting ... I gotta re-read and re-read ! So much good stuff you guys ! And Tarala is right ... I love LOA. When Esther talks about grid work it's the same as re-framing, you are so right when climbing up that emotional ladder you have to start with small believable pieces then build momentum.
    eric watson likes this.

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