Joulegirl
Beloved Grand Eagle
Back before Thanksgiving I decided to give the Curable app another try. When I had the free trial, I liked it but I don't think I interacted with it too much. This time I decided I would do a lesson a day and if I was dealing with a pain episode I would use the panic button. So far I have been loving it-I've really only missed a couple of days.
That being said, my pain has completely changed. Something that I thought I had healed from is back with a vengeance. Since I've been doing the Curable app, I've now noticed that my severe IBS has calmed way down and my nerve pain is back. And it is a doozy. Usually when I have symptoms of it starting, I can talk to myself about it and not fear it. But this flare got to me and I guess I feared it. And then it just kept getting worse until I realize last night that I was in severe pain from it.
It's wild to me that I know this is TMS 100%!!! I know that my brain could turn off stomach pain easily and switch to another pain. Or my brain can turn off all pain and I get relief. But I've had no consistency to see a pattern of how this works, but am extremely thankful that I've experienced this firsthand so I have confidence this is TMS!
Before I knew about TMS, the only way I knew to get rid of this nerve pain temporarily was to see a PT and then they would work on nerves on my spine. Looking back, I just wondered if it was a placebo effect or it really did work. I also took a prescription to help with the nerve pain. I've tried taking it again and it hasn't even touched the pain. Isn't that wild that it worked before but not now?!?
Obviously, working with the Curable app has stirred up my nervous system. In addition to the app, I've also been working on my OCD. I've been using the stop method that @Baseball65 has told us about. I also have just told my OCD that I don't want to do the "compulsion." I'm tired of being told what to do with my OCD and that has seemed to work. I'm really working on hard on my years of self neglect.
I write this be long book just to say, that recovery is hard sometimes and it is not liner. I've had some fantastic pain free times this year because of doing the SEP and learning more about this. But I've also had pain stirred up because my nervous system is still trying to keep me safe. I know I've had TMS since I was 9 years old (my first memory of it) so it's going to take time.
I look at what I'm feeling today as encouragement that I'm going in the right direction. I hope that anyone reads this knows that there will be ups and downs. I did get discouraged last night when the pain levels increased but I have the power to work on this by journaling and using the app. The only way out is through!
And how @JanAtheCPA simply puts it: "What the f* else can you do?!?!
That being said, my pain has completely changed. Something that I thought I had healed from is back with a vengeance. Since I've been doing the Curable app, I've now noticed that my severe IBS has calmed way down and my nerve pain is back. And it is a doozy. Usually when I have symptoms of it starting, I can talk to myself about it and not fear it. But this flare got to me and I guess I feared it. And then it just kept getting worse until I realize last night that I was in severe pain from it.
It's wild to me that I know this is TMS 100%!!! I know that my brain could turn off stomach pain easily and switch to another pain. Or my brain can turn off all pain and I get relief. But I've had no consistency to see a pattern of how this works, but am extremely thankful that I've experienced this firsthand so I have confidence this is TMS!
Before I knew about TMS, the only way I knew to get rid of this nerve pain temporarily was to see a PT and then they would work on nerves on my spine. Looking back, I just wondered if it was a placebo effect or it really did work. I also took a prescription to help with the nerve pain. I've tried taking it again and it hasn't even touched the pain. Isn't that wild that it worked before but not now?!?
Obviously, working with the Curable app has stirred up my nervous system. In addition to the app, I've also been working on my OCD. I've been using the stop method that @Baseball65 has told us about. I also have just told my OCD that I don't want to do the "compulsion." I'm tired of being told what to do with my OCD and that has seemed to work. I'm really working on hard on my years of self neglect.
I write this be long book just to say, that recovery is hard sometimes and it is not liner. I've had some fantastic pain free times this year because of doing the SEP and learning more about this. But I've also had pain stirred up because my nervous system is still trying to keep me safe. I know I've had TMS since I was 9 years old (my first memory of it) so it's going to take time.
I look at what I'm feeling today as encouragement that I'm going in the right direction. I hope that anyone reads this knows that there will be ups and downs. I did get discouraged last night when the pain levels increased but I have the power to work on this by journaling and using the app. The only way out is through!
And how @JanAtheCPA simply puts it: "What the f* else can you do?!?!
I was saying in another thread that I didn't recognise before that my mental ruminating amounted to being OCD. I too have been using the 'stop method' but also what's helping a lot is using visualisation. For example, when I find myself experiencing looping thoughts I visualise tension swirling out of my body and down the drain or I picture wax softening and melting, that kind of thing, and it works a treat. (And although I try to remain outcome independent, I can't help but notice an improvement in my stamina and remaining symptoms, as well as my general mood, since I've been doing this).
It’s almost laughable how obvious and desperate your lizard really is getting. Think how distracting a PT would be. So time-consuming… Tell your lizard you’re not gonna fall for it. 