Ready to say, “screw it” and take pain meds

Today, has been really bad for pain. I started a new job, but it’s a remote position, so I do work from home, which is a double-edged sword. I started on Monday, and had some pain. I had more yesterday, but was able to get it to calm down; but today, has been so bad. I guess Alan says this is an extinction burst {gets worse before getting better} but this has been very painful.

I have not had back spasms this bad for years. I had to cancel my therapy session today because of it. Last week, we uncovered some emotional stuff with a repressed memory. It wsn’t horrible, but we were going to explore more today. Alas, my brain is very much resisting this. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I feel dejected, when I should feel resolute, frustrated, when I should feel hope, anger, when I should feel calm. I don’t want to lose this job too. {we are just replacing our whole HVAC system and need the funds}

I have only been on Lyrica for pain, and mainly just take Ibuprofen, but I am thiclose to just saying screw it and taking something. I have been doing TMS work for years and my brain just WIll. Not. Let. Go. I know there are other people in the same situation, and it’s very frustrating when the brain won’t cooperate or change. I thought a TMS therapist would help, but I don’t feel like Im’ getting anywhere and wasting my money. Maybe, it’s just time to accept that my brain doesn’t want to give up the ruse, and move on. I know this doesn’t work for everyone, and maybe I am one of those, as disheartening as that sounds.

You all have been incredibly helpful in the past and I wish you luck with your journey out of pain.

 

Saw another post...take a long walk till you are so tired you can't think.....it will give the brain a rest. Maybe that's why Sarno said get physical. I noticed the more I get out the better...and yes I have unbelievable pain in the back and hip and feet.

 

Many people suffer from an underactive body and an overactive mind, most especially if they spend hours online. Candace Pert famously said for each hour you spend online you ought spend two hours in nature. I think this is definitely true.

I only started to recover when I gave up on healing. If you look closely you'll notice this is the most common thread running through all success stories. Return to life, the life that suits you, and the more natural that life the better.

 

You answered what is going on with your first paragraph; you started a new job. Naturally you will have a flare up with starting a new job. I don't know who wouldn't. You mention working from home is a double-edged sword, indicating you know there is a trigger associated with that. You need to give it time and be gentle on your emotional self. 4 days is way too short to be throwing in the towel on your mindbody to adjust. Life is full of ups and downs emotionally and think of it as a test or exercise for using the tms tools you have learned.

Make a list of all the things you like about working again and working from home.

Do what Click#7 has suggested and take a long walk every day. The fresh air and exercise is always a help.

 

I agree with all the above. The body takes longer to react then the mind - so it will take some time until you have processed the situation - roll with it and be kind to yourself!

 

Plum dear I believe you are so right. I have been doing more and about 60 % better. If she needs a Motrin are you kidding take it and move on. I don't believe in torture. That is being kind to yourself even for a few hours to GET you out to do whatever you want to do. It's a quality of life we are talking about. Sarno wasn't against it during healing. And starting a new job is stressful for the whole planet. It's normal to be a little uptight.

 

Exactly. I have no idea where the whole anti-meds/anti-painkillers idea comes from but it is just daft. You are so right to use the word torture because that is what it becomes, an unnecessary and self-inflicted agony born from loyalty to an idea. Best to take meds, gain traction, feel easier in your body and then gradually taper off. Better still is to feel so damn good you forget to take the bloody things!

 

Back in 1997 I had sciatica and foot pain so bad . I didn't know who Sarno was, but I went thru all kinds of testing and not much was found. I saw a pain doctor. I got back on the horse, took my meds as needed and healed. I became active and enjoyed life. I kept saying to myself there was nothing wrong. Then off pain meds !. People in chronic pain don't abuse drugs. They don't because they just want to get better.

 

Plum :
I only started to recover when I gave up on healing. If you look closely you'll notice this is the most common thread running through all success stories. Return to life, the life that suits you, and the more natural that life the better.[/QUOTE]

Yes plum this is so true. My first really
succes in reducing pain came when i took that approach too. I just refused to put my whole life on hold any longer.

 

Thank you everyone for your replies. I think I am more worried about central nervous dysfunction than I am about TMS. I have read up about this and it makes a lot of sense for someone like me, who has had chronic pain, as well as many traumatic experiences that the pain center in the brain is continually switched on. It’s like I have brain damage, and overtime, everytime I get stressed or have an injury, it amplifies the pain signals, to now I am hyperaware and hypersensitive to even mild pain. Does that make sense and would any of you agree with me? I also read up that there is no cure and that is very hard to hear. At least with TMS, you can heal, which I think I probably have, with all the work I have done, it’s just now, the brain is so sensitized, it won’t turn off the pain alarm system, no matter what I do. Can I turn it down, yes, but I have never been able to shut it off permanently and that sucks.

If you think I am bonkers, then by all means tell me! I so badly want to heal, but I am afraid my brain is damaged - for good.

 

They are the same thing or to put it another way, TMS by a different name. Remember that at its heart TMS is essentially the obsessive, fear-based/fear-driven anxiety that surrounds pain. The new Alan Gordon program addresses this neurological aspect. All you are doing is scaring yourself with Dr. Google and that is crazy.

Your brain is not damaged. Your faith is a little roughed up maybe but nothing that cannot be healed and cannot be calmed.

 

Plum,

I so badly want to believe that. I just don’t feel like I am healing. After years of doing this work, seeing a therapist, working through the fear, etc...it seems the pain is getting worse, at least in the new areas it decided to move to. For instance, a decade ago, I had the myofascial and pelvic pain, but they didn’t stay on one area for 6 months and then move; it was more like I had pain everyday, but in different areas all the time, so not one area was hurting for longer than a week. Now, it seems pain stays longer, before it moves again, and even mild injuries are amplified. It seems that the more work I do, the more the nervous system gets flooded. I guess when all I did was deal with the pain and still do things is when it calmed down - but if it was severe pain or stress, that was the time to rest and regroup.

 

Jules, it honestly sounds like you are trying too hard to heal. I know because I was there for years and it took me a long time to truly realise that the intensity I approached my healing with was the actual problem. I reached the point where following a disagreement on the forum I actually said f*** this, f*** TMS and I kicked the whole thing into the long grass. I still had pain but I was free from the daily grind of recovery. This enabled me to approach and embrace new activities and life in general without the whole second-guessing of is-this/is-this-not TMS approved. And that revelation was a healing key.

So to clarify, you do or have had times when the pain calms down? Even just a bit?

 

SteveO...took him a very long time to heal as you probably know. If you are on FB go to his site....TMS-Mindbody Syndrome. Under file he talks about why people have trouble healing. It opened my eyes to some extent. Just a thought.

 

Plum I think you hit the nail on the head.

 

If you want to understand central sensitization, the contribution of the peripheral nervous system as well, and how to cope with it all, there is no better source than Butler & Moseley Explain Pain (2nd edition 2013).

 

Thank you. I’ll check it out!

 

Hi Jules,

I totally get your frustration.
You come to a point your get tired of it all. You want a ‘price’ for all the hard work you did already

But i do think too that the whole central S and tms are the same thing.
Its fear.
First the fear there must be a psysical reason for the pain and when that’s somehow
‘Off the table’ a new fear kicks in :
Oh but what if i have Central S ?
i think this analyzing , thinking and fearing IS the problem. The nervous system is upset , simply cause the fear and worry we have makes it upset.
Maybe that’s the key to ‘outcome independence ‘ if we would get to the point we don’t give a *** anymore
if we made progress or not : we would just
move on and i bet the nervous system
would also be calm.
i also thought i was done almost and now some setbacks. But i do think fear is the fuel that keeps it going.
Lately think ‘healing ‘ is not the right word and destination to aim for.
Learning to live with my fears is a better one maybe.
Maybe this constant battle to ‘get to the finish line is just to much pressure for you too

 

Jules,
Have you listened to Claire Weekes? Listening to her audios might help you with what she calls sensitisation of the nervous system, which perhaps is what you are describing. You can find links on this wiki or search the internet. If nothing else she is amazingly soothing. I am listening to her again after almost forgetting how much help I had in the past. Hugs.
Lizzy

PS people say if they think pain when she talks it helps that also.

 

I completely agree with what Plum is telling you, including her prior post about TMS being the same as the nervous system thing you diagnosed yourself with using Dr Google.
You are trying too hard.
You are addicted to researching your symptoms (I've noticed it before in the months you have been on this forum.) Please don't check out a book called, "Explain Pain", that's keeping yourself focused on researching symptoms and trying too hard.

Kick the whole thing into the long grass, as Plum says. I suggest keeping your TMS therapist, since I'm assuming you only see that person once a week, but kick the habit of doing anything other than that. Try to keep your mind focused on other things that you actually love; family, hobbies, art, music, whatever. They deserve your attention, not the pain.