Day 1 Ready to go again

[eluna]

This will be my second go at SEP after the first time I did it last year, which helped me walk again after being immobile/stuck on mobility aids for a year and a half due to pain. I haven't used mobility aids since and continue to walk further and further. Despite still getting some leg pain, I no longer feel afraid of it and can easily direct my thinking to psychological.

However, recently my back pain has been getting really bad, as well as symptoms of fatigue and allergic rhinitis. I've been feeling so frustrated with my pain, stressing over how to manage my energy levels and constantly spraying different things up my nose in a desperate attempt to make it all stop.

But it's finally, properly, sunk in... I've been bamboozled by TMS once again.

Following a structured plan helps me a lot so I'm ready to give this another go. My mind already feels refreshed after day 1, and I feel even more confident this time around because I know that I'M already living proof that this works.

I'm ready to go. I'm ready to be pain and symptom free!

 

[pinkteapot]

You got this, eluna! It sounds like CLASSIC symptom imperative. Our brains are so good at coming up with distractions - it knows leg pain isn't working anymore!

I wanted to comment because I'm also back for round 2, and just one day behind you in the program. I started today. I had a looooooong list of 'persistent physical symptoms' (what the NHS likes to call it, here in the UK) which had me housebound and at times bedbound in 2023-24. I made a slow but steady recovery after learning about TMS/mindbody stuff and by last summer I was working part-time, socialising again, really getting life back. But then life got lifey and after significant stress, I had a relapse. You'd think I'd have known what to do and could have made it short-lived. But no, I was straight back into FEAR and DOUBT all those things, and before I know it, I've lost six months again.

Just recently I've read all the books, watched a lot of the YouTube channels again... And I'm convinced about what this is again. But I haven't been able to get recovery off the ground. I realised that, like you, a structured program is what I need. I need to devote real time to this process each day for a while, and this is a great way to do it. I'd naively thought that having recovered once, once I had belief again then poof, I'd be all better. Nope! And I realise that's because there are still doubts around the edges. I know this program will help chip away at those.

Anyway, apologies for spamming your thread with my own story. I noticed that we're here for the same reason and wanted to give you a cheer! We got this!

 

[eluna]

You got this, eluna! It sounds like CLASSIC symptom imperative. Our brains are so good at coming up with distractions - it knows leg pain isn't working anymore!

I wanted to comment because I'm also back for round 2, and just one day behind you in the program. I started today. I had a looooooong list of 'persistent physical symptoms' (what the NHS likes to call it, here in the UK) which had me housebound and at times bedbound in 2023-24. I made a slow but steady recovery after learning about TMS/mindbody stuff and by last summer I was working part-time, socialising again, really getting life back. But then life got lifey and after significant stress, I had a relapse. You'd think I'd have known what to do and could have made it short-lived. But no, I was straight back into FEAR and DOUBT all those things, and before I know it, I've lost six months again.

Just recently I've read all the books, watched a lot of the YouTube channels again... And I'm convinced about what this is again. But I haven't been able to get recovery off the ground. I realised that, like you, a structured program is what I need. I need to devote real time to this process each day for a while, and this is a great way to do it. I'd naively thought that having recovered once, once I had belief again then poof, I'd be all better. Nope! And I realise that's because there are still doubts around the edges. I know this program will help chip away at those.

Anyway, apologies for spamming your thread with my own story. I noticed that we're here for the same reason and wanted to give you a cheer! We got this!

Thank you for sharing your story! And I'm from the UK too

It makes a lot of sense with what you said about having doubts. I think for me, I've realised there's still a lot of fear, even with my legs. I think that's why the pain in my legs hasn't fully gone away yet - I still feel incredibly afraid of stretching them as that's what I've linked it to causing the most excruciating pain. And this is where some doubts creep in too because I feel unsure of how to beat this fear and feel okay with stretching my calve muscles again. Even the thought of it gives me shivers!

But yes, otherwise, pain in my legs mostly isn't working anymore but the back pain, fatigue and sinus issues definitely have been working. I had two wisdom teeth removed in December as well and ended up with lockjaw and terrible jaw pain for months afterwards (it's still lingering now and I still can't open my jaw fully - I could for a bit but it's gone all stiff again). This took over my life for a while too and my surgeon said it was TMJ. When I saw the treatment was things like relaxation, deep breathing, etc... I realised TMS was likely the culprit too. After some reading, I saw that I was correct.

It is frustrating experiencing these moving symptoms but it's also a gift - it's an opportunity to keep learning, to keep working on this TMS stuff. One day, this pain will be gone, perhaps it'll occasionally show up but we'll know how to send it on its way. And that's because of the work we're putting in now. Good luck to you!

 

[pinkteapot]

Fear and doubts are the things I’m most working on too. Despite being a few years in, and having read all the books and watched all the YouTube channels, this video from Alan Gordon that’s part of Day 3 of the SEP has been HUGELY helpful this week:

He says it’s always hard to accept the diagnosis because it means over-riding our own senses. It’s completely natural to notice that a particular activity precedes pain, and to assume it caused it. Our brains are designed to look for patterns like this - it’s what they do! We’re asking ourselves to tell our brains it’s getting it wrong, and that’s really hard.

His explanation made me feel so much better about still having doubts! My rational, logical brain absolutely believes in this stuff and knows what stresses triggered things for me. Yet a deeper part of my brain still loves to make me doubt myself.

I’m finding the daily education activities really useful for reinforcing the belief. Doubts are still there but I can tell the belief is getting a tiny bit more solid every day!

How are you getting on?