Rage

Kylin Foster

Kylin Foster

Peer Supporter
So in Sarno's books rage is a big topic. I have always had a difficult time with my family especially recently. I'm 18 and not financially able to move out yet. And I can't stand the things and behaviors of some of my family members. My brother is bipolar, and my dad had PTSD and the house can be very hectic. How do I process this rage with out being a total bitch to them! I know I can envision the rage ect. But the things they do still bother me! How do I act civil and deal with their wackiness?
 
I'm sorry you're having to go through that. The processing of whatever rage you might be carrying is ultimately between you and yourself. A number of techniques for achieving this exist, including thinking psychologically, emotional journaling, dream therapy, and simply making a conscious decision to feel rather than repress emotions. Keep in mind that angry outbursts themselves are often a defense mechanism against true underlying emotion. When you do experience anger as you go about your day, check to see if it is a result of things going on in the moment or of unresolved issues from the past. You ultimately have to decide whether the legitimate anger you identify (i.e. anger not displaced) is best dealt with in private or by informing the individual triggering these emotions about the effect their actions are having on you. From the standpoint of mindbody medicine, however, lashing out at others is never a good idea.
 
Thank you so much these are great tips. I just still find my self when I try to do these things at a loss. They are both so hard to communicate with it's like completely different stratospheres. So if my dad or bother is yelling at me or criticizing me, how do I react if they don't stop after I communicate it's bothering me? Sometimes I'll even be meditating and one of them will barge in, or I'll hear them yelling at each other down stairs. It's not even always rage sometimes I just want to leave, it's just not a pleasant environment which I would love to have right now while trying to heal.
 
That's a difficult question to answer, especially from the outside, but if it's any consolation, you are absolutely not the only one who's having to go through the healing process in a challenging environment -- in fact, this is quite common. I can think of a few practical options that might have crossed your mind already, like hanging out in a quieter place in the house or investing in noise cancellation headphones, but aside from measures of this kind remember that you always have the capacity to heal resident within you regardless of what's going on in your environment. As hard as it is, strive to accept your current situation knowing that fretting over it will only generate more tension and delay recovery. On the plus side, one might see healing in a challenging environment as an opportunity to develop resilience and effect a highly durable result. You can do this -- believe it.
 
I think the "rage" that Sarno talks about is unnoticed to the conscious mind. It's likely that your hectic household results in unconscious anger. It's much more likely that your conscious mind is feeling uncomfortable, unloved, disrespected, etc. I'm not an expert on confronting others. For now, I suggest you do some free writing in a journal on a daily basis. That's where I found out about my unconscious anger. Keep digging, and don't be afraid to FEEL YOUR FEELINGS.

- Matt
 
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