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rage vs fear

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by mbo, Aug 10, 2019.

  1. mbo

    mbo Well known member

    according to dr. J. Sarno rage (unconscious rage) is the main cause of chronic pain, but for Alan Gordon is fear (fear of pain masquing other unbearable fears).
    Any comment?
    Thanks !!!!
  2. mbo

    mbo Well known member

    more: unconscious rage for my fear of failure, for my cowardice, for not being enough courageous, for suspecting I am the ultimate cause of my misfortune ?
  3. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    It may help to think of it like this;

    “In Buddhism, these unavoidable pains in life are known as 'first darts.' These are the darts life throws at us that we can't do anything about. But what we can do, is avoid throwing 'second darts' at ourselves. These second darts are our judgments and reactions to the first darts.”

    (http://patrikedblad.com/self-discipline/how-to-deal-with-pain/ (How to Deal With Pain: First & Second Darts – Patrik Edblad))

    Rage is the first dart, the primary and main cause of pain, whereas fear is the second dart and the fuel that keeps it alive.

    More second darts my darling.

    The question is why are you being so unkind to yourself? Pain is not due to cowardice or failure. It’s a protective mechanism that is trying to keep you safe. Healing is very much about learning how to calm these fears, how to create our own sense of safety.

    Does that help a bit?

    Plum x
    Sita likes this.
  4. fredb

    fredb Peer Supporter

    Hi Plum and thank you so much for previous help to me. Your quotes not only make a lot of sense, but also give comfort to those struggling like me to have the courage mbo describes. I think it is the courage to face your fear of the pain by accepting it and getting on with life and living with it without constantly giving in to the fear, thus fueling it even more. In my case, as crazy as it would appear to a rational person, it has become a habit; an obsession! I believe perhaps mbo feels the same. It is so humbling when you hear of people who do have that courage essential to live with real disability and pain. Perhaps it just develops in some of us later into our journey to recovery. Let us hope so.
    Best wishes Plum from UK Fred.
  5. mbo

    mbo Well known member

    Real words of wisdom, Plum !
    Makes sense, thanks a lot.
    All the best !
  6. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    This rests at the heart of healing Fred. Remember courage is not the absence of fear but rather doing it in spite of the fear. Every single last person has to do this to overcome TMS. The only way out is through and as you are going through, you realise that the only thing holding you back was a mirage, a bluff, a thought, a sensation. It amazing really but you heal by getting on with your life instead of waiting for your pain to go so that you may live. We all get this the wrong way round in the beginning.

    This may seem odd at first but once you get your head around it, it will make sense. TMS is not actually the pain you feel. TMS is the preoccupation, the obsession. Without the habitual deference to the nest of thoughts around the pain, the pain itself begins to diminish.

    It’s not always fear or rage. It can be any emotion such as grief or sorrow, it can be unrequited love, or betrayal, broken hearts and broken dreams...

    Remember wisdom is nothing more than the fruit of bad experience. In this way TMS healing is a gift.

    Plum xxx
  7. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    You’re welcome sweetheart x
  8. fredb

    fredb Peer Supporter

    Hi again Plum. Your comments make such sense, and I believe it is the truth that you state. However, as I know you know, it is so difficult for many of us to deal with such emotions in a way that calms the nerves and thus the pain.
    However, I guess it will eventually sink in and all will be well again.
    Good wishes
    Fred X
  9. Viridian

    Viridian Peer Supporter

    Hello Plum, thank you for your wise words again.

    I have a question surrounding the best way to respond to the swarm of thoughts and worries around pain, anxiety etc. Should we be challenging negative thoughts around TMS or does that create just add to the internal tension!? Or should we just let them be there and not engage with them?

    This weekend my knee started hurting whilst running. Although I've either simply strained it or it's just a symptom swap - deep down I don't really care, running's not my life so it's not anywhere near as frighting as the onset of severe RSI was. However, despite my indifference I've been swamped by intrusive 'What if!?' thoughts, to the point where I'm laughing, incredulous. I don't even know where that's coming from!?
  10. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    You can choose to soothe or distract yourself. You can do both of course and sometimes it’s the same thing! The important part is not to let your thoughts run away with you.

    The initial negative thought is the first dart. The cascade of what ifs is the second. Put the brakes on there. Hard as hell at first but it gets easier.

    I suppose whether to challenge or let be depends on the nature of the thought. Some thoughts are nuts and easy to dismiss, others need a bit of distance and unpacking. The key element is to remind yourself that it is just a thought a la Claire Weekes.

    It’s barmy isn’t it. It’s great that you’ve reach the point where you can laugh at it. TMS old timers will be able to reassure you that it gets increasingly ridiculous. TMS has a knack of over playing its hand. That’s an amazing moment. A classic Claire Weekes glimpse if you like. Watch out for it for surely it will come your way.

    Plum x
  11. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    Fred, I was the quintessential slow learner when it came to TMS. That’s partly why I’ve made so many posts, it took me ages to “get it”. I remember combing endless posts for a clue, an insight, something, anything that would grant me access to that most beautiful club of folk-who-have-healed.

    For me it was cumulative, for others it’s an epiphany. This is why it’s so important to keep posting, ask questions, reading and then giving yourself time to assimilate it all. One big key for me was Monte Hueftle. I listened to the audio linked below. The Real Cause of TMS.

    https://www.runningpain.com/important_tms_updates (The TMS Master Practice Program - The New-Sarno TMS Program - Important TMS Updates)

    You’ll need to sign up to hear it.
    Give it a whirl.

    You’ll get there. If I can, anyone can
    Viridian likes this.
  12. Viridian

    Viridian Peer Supporter

    Haha, there is something quite absurdist and hilarious about it.

    I have this (semi-recurring) very minor strain on my left knee - because my mind jumped on it I've woken up today with bilateral tingling from the toes up and really cold legs. I suppose it's a watershed moment really as I 100% know now that I truly have TMS! I was 99% before but there was always that lingering 'it could be structural' thing. This is just too silly for it to be anything else.
  13. plum

    plum Beloved Grand Eagle

    I recall a time, years ago, sitting in my doctors surgery watching one of those NHS information pieces that was describing some awful male affliction complete with florid pictorials. It was terrifying. I walked out of there like a gunslinger and I don’t have a penis! (weird phantom limb syndrome moment). The poor male patients must have been cringing for days.
  14. Viridian

    Viridian Peer Supporter

    Hahaha, the NHS mean well but if I had a tenner for every time they've accidentally sent my thoughts careering into thinking I'm about to die then I'd be a wealthy man!
  15. freedomseeker

    freedomseeker Peer Supporter

    I think fear is the underlying emotion of anger. Theres many emotions involved, like others have stated, but I believe we all carry unconscious rage to some degree. And underneath the layers of rage is fear. Fear also keeps us in the cycle of pain, but our repressed emotions are ultimately the source of our symptoms.
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2019
    Tennis Tom likes this.

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