Day 25 Progress

[NCoutdoors]

I've made a lot of progress in the last 25 days, but still have more to go. In no particular order, here are the milestones, apprehensions and hurdles:

--Foot pain is basically gone right now. This is huge as it had nagged me and I'd allowed it to limit me for years. I might feel it some at the end of a long day or ride, but it's not really a limiting factor. Leg pain, gone. Hip and back pain, greatly improved--I keep using the same techniques.

--Some apprehension that hip or back pain might be "real" since it is lingering longer. However, when I look at the history/onset, the medical checkout, etc., I realize there is no underlying structural reason and try to continue to focus psychologically.

--I have a growing awareness of my pent up rage. I'm easily agitated by a lot of people within a broad range (from work associates to bad drivers to loud neighbors). But the rage I feel is many times disproportionate to the offense. I've read of some people having a large emotional release, but for now it seems mine is going to come in smaller doses and many times come out on paper.

--A month ago I had more apprehension that I would never work through my physical symptoms. Now, I have more apprehension that I will work through/accept/acknowledge my psychological stressors. It's an uncomfortable place to be, but I am growing to accept that discomfort.

--On a group camping trip, I discovered an acquaintance that read HBP and it had a huge impact on their life. A second friend in the group was introduced to the concept and receptive. It was reassuring to feel this "real life" support/validation in addition to an online community.

 

[Eric "Herbie" Watson]

NCoutdoors your a natural, Just stay in the Psychological Realm and have no thoughts on the Structural and you will pull on through this. Remember to be outcome independent and don't stress with the timing. Like the symptoms you might still have, just keep doing what you been doing and those will leave too in time. Keep trusting the program you have and it's only a matter of time.
Bless You

 

[Mara]

I hear you on the pent-up range...except lately, it hasn't been that pent! I flipped out on my husband last weekend because he spent too long in the grocery store while I was waiting in the car. I mean, I was yelling...well, maybe not yelling, but talking loudly, which is the same as yelling for me. I think the incident brought up abandonment issues. Completely illogical, because I knew where my husband was. But emotions are not always logical. And it's not like I have memories of my parents leaving me in cars, they would take us into the store with them. But having an alcoholic parent is enough of an emotional abandonment where it doesn't have to be a literal, physical abandonment.

Anyway, sorry to ramble, but I relate to the pent up stuff!

 

[Marian]

I hear you on the pent-up range...except lately, it hasn't been that pent! I flipped out on my husband last weekend because he spent too long in the grocery store while I was waiting in the car. I mean, I was yelling...well, maybe not yelling, but talking loudly, which is the same as yelling for me. I think the incident brought up abandonment issues. Completely illogical, because I knew where my husband was. But emotions are not always logical. And it's not like I have memories of my parents leaving me in cars, they would take us into the store with them. But having an alcoholic parent is enough of an emotional abandonment where it doesn't have to be a literal, physical abandonment.

Anyway, sorry to ramble, but I relate to the pent up stuff!

Mara, I had a similar experience last week! My husband was late and I didn't know where he was... he had turned off his phone. Not unusual, nor a cause for more than curiosity, usually! But this time I found myself in the grips of rage, which brought up all kinds of old misery and repressed childhood emotions of powerlessness. My husband sat with me and let me cry and talk it through and we realized where it was coming from. It was so surprising, and it resulted in a big emotional release and some positive shifts.

A lot of pent up stuff has been rising to the surface.

 

[Mara]

Ha, that is funny, my husband also did not hear my call. (His phone was on, but he didn't hear it.)