I fell very hard 5 years ago on both hands which I naturally put out to break my fall. Both thumb cmc joints literally took my whole weight as I landed on a hard railway sleeper stepping down from a split level garden bed. I fell about 3 feet. At the time although having bruised palms I regarded it as being a close call "wow that was close nearly landed on my arse."I was 55 at the time of the injury and 60 now.
Long story short I was ultimately diagnosed with post trauma arthritis of both CMC thumb joints. Scans demonstrated moderate arthritic degeneration. It was painful to do many things, I went through depression especially being a piano player.
After a few difficult months the condition settled and had remained that way for 5 years had never got better or worse. It hurt to do many things involving thumb use but after some time I adapted and it became normal. I had since been able to do most things within reason, pretty much all of my duties at work using an axe or hammer no problems (I'm a grounds maintenance worker, it was a work injury). I could also engage in my hobbies as well.
These past 5 years I have had a few other health concerns with the hands being pretty much forgotten. I honestly rarely thought about the hands due to the "reliability" with 5 years with no change for better or worse.
It is important to note that I had a back injury at 31 years of age with 15 years of problems and pain which pretty much went away after reading Dr John Sarno's book "Healing back pain". Unlike my base of thumb injury not much pathology could be found with the back problem. BUT MY PAIN DID BUILD UP OVER TIME AND GOT WORSE WITH EMOTIONAL RESPONSE IN BOTH INJURIES especially significant grief following the injury!
I am a difficult patient, especially concerning problems with the body. A HAVEN FOR TMS! When a depression/anxiety attack happens it often comes on suddenly, it is so incapacitating that I barely function at all...a blown light globe would be too much to cope with. I lose all interest and joy in life even if I was ok the day before!
However when I am well and happy I am nothing like this!
Fast forward 5 years to about a month ago, I was getting ready for holidays and had to get a lot of stuff finished before I left for holidays...it's an 8 acre site and my work partner who usually helps was too busy doing more demanding maintenance duties.
I had to perform all types of duties and repairs, one involved pulling on shade cloth of a large green house shelter to secure it, it was windy and was starting to rain so I wasn't in the best of moods. The grasping/pulling of the shade cloth in both hands was challenging when the wind took it....a bit of a wrestling match LOL. Anyway I got it finished, hands hurt a bit at thumb base...like they often did after certain activities. I had to repeat the same or similar duties 1 week later with the shade cloth with hands hurting a bit as well...there were other demanding jobs too but the shade cloth was something I don't usually do! Hands were hurting a bit but there was a change in weather heading towards Spring here in Australia. I heard that it's good to strengthen muscles in the thumb/hand area so I used my hand strengthening tool that I got from the hand therapist years ago, I did a few sets every second day or so for about a week but stopped because the hands were hurting..probably over did it.
Started holidays on a Thursday and really appreciated the spare time to just take it easy and went out to dinner for my Daughter's birthday, it was a good night.
Friday I got up to see that I had a flat tyre so I had to get the trolley jack and change the tyre, a couple of the nuts took a fair amount of force to undo but I did it ok and hands seemed ok about it all.
Saturday morning I woke immediately in this horrible ALTERED state of mind/consciousness...with fear that I have done irreparable damage to my thumb joints...probably due to the shade cloth work a month earlier (being the only activity I don't normally do) the other activities although hectic have never caused problems. I felt so angry at myself for the "damage" I had done doing the shade cloth.
I had gone from changing a tyre the day before (with barely a thought for my hands) to being too scared to lift the kettle Saturday morning after waking up in this horrible altered emotional state. The fear of impending chronic pain and disability totally overwhelmed me, the dark depression is terrible.
I was looking forward to these holidays and had so much planned to do around the house and yard at home. I have now even started being woken up at night by the thumb pain in both hands...it has never done that before. But I think it's the altered depressed state (fight/flight/DANGER) alert causing the wake ups.
The thumbs and hands in general feel weak and brittle...I wouldn't dare change a tyre now. The resting and babying my hands because I am too scared to use them is making them feel even weaker. I am avoiding using thumb braces too much otherwise the "I'm sick and broken" message to my brain will be reinforced exponentially!
I don't get it, other than the shade cloth stuff I haven't done anything different from what I usually do in the past 5 years. Surely a couple of isolated incidents (such as the pulling of shade cloth) isn't going to have done more damage to the arthritic joints? Maybe if I did it over a long period like a few months yes perhaps, but I did it only on two occasions a week apart and spent only about 30 minutes each time. If my hands were that bad really I surely would not be able to have done all of the things that I have usually been able to do. My hands were so stable that I had forgotten where my thumb braces were...I found them in a drawer.
So what has happened in my brain to cause this sudden trip to hell? My sudden unreasonable obsession with thumbs, I am looking at people's thumbs when I am shopping...what the hell? And the grief of remembering my life before the "event"!
Doctor says she doubts very much that a couple of 30 minute sessions of yanking shade cloth no matter how vigorous would have caused further arthritic damage "otherwise your hands would drop of in 6 months" her words LOL... however she says that I have probably strained both joints with the resultant pain affecting my mental health, when the pain improves my mental health will improve...I think she is more than likely right!
THIS IS IMPORTANT FOR MENTAL HEALTH...FLARE UP FROM STRAIN vs PERMANENT DAMAGE! I went through all that with my old back injury....permanent or will it get better...ended up being TMS for 15 years from a twisting/strain injury...pain is easier when you are winning rather than losing...the BRAIN generates all this!
To anyone who has read this massive "autobiographical account" thanks so much! I am hoping it may help someone in a similar situation by demonstrating how insidious and sneaky TMS can be! In saying that, I do have physical pathology, however it's more the mental state I am focused on here!
If anyone could shed some light or give me an opinion it would be great thank you.
Long story short I was ultimately diagnosed with post trauma arthritis of both CMC thumb joints. Scans demonstrated moderate arthritic degeneration. It was painful to do many things, I went through depression especially being a piano player.
After a few difficult months the condition settled and had remained that way for 5 years had never got better or worse. It hurt to do many things involving thumb use but after some time I adapted and it became normal. I had since been able to do most things within reason, pretty much all of my duties at work using an axe or hammer no problems (I'm a grounds maintenance worker, it was a work injury). I could also engage in my hobbies as well.
These past 5 years I have had a few other health concerns with the hands being pretty much forgotten. I honestly rarely thought about the hands due to the "reliability" with 5 years with no change for better or worse.
It is important to note that I had a back injury at 31 years of age with 15 years of problems and pain which pretty much went away after reading Dr John Sarno's book "Healing back pain". Unlike my base of thumb injury not much pathology could be found with the back problem. BUT MY PAIN DID BUILD UP OVER TIME AND GOT WORSE WITH EMOTIONAL RESPONSE IN BOTH INJURIES especially significant grief following the injury!
I am a difficult patient, especially concerning problems with the body. A HAVEN FOR TMS! When a depression/anxiety attack happens it often comes on suddenly, it is so incapacitating that I barely function at all...a blown light globe would be too much to cope with. I lose all interest and joy in life even if I was ok the day before!
However when I am well and happy I am nothing like this!
Fast forward 5 years to about a month ago, I was getting ready for holidays and had to get a lot of stuff finished before I left for holidays...it's an 8 acre site and my work partner who usually helps was too busy doing more demanding maintenance duties.
I had to perform all types of duties and repairs, one involved pulling on shade cloth of a large green house shelter to secure it, it was windy and was starting to rain so I wasn't in the best of moods. The grasping/pulling of the shade cloth in both hands was challenging when the wind took it....a bit of a wrestling match LOL. Anyway I got it finished, hands hurt a bit at thumb base...like they often did after certain activities. I had to repeat the same or similar duties 1 week later with the shade cloth with hands hurting a bit as well...there were other demanding jobs too but the shade cloth was something I don't usually do! Hands were hurting a bit but there was a change in weather heading towards Spring here in Australia. I heard that it's good to strengthen muscles in the thumb/hand area so I used my hand strengthening tool that I got from the hand therapist years ago, I did a few sets every second day or so for about a week but stopped because the hands were hurting..probably over did it.
Started holidays on a Thursday and really appreciated the spare time to just take it easy and went out to dinner for my Daughter's birthday, it was a good night.
Friday I got up to see that I had a flat tyre so I had to get the trolley jack and change the tyre, a couple of the nuts took a fair amount of force to undo but I did it ok and hands seemed ok about it all.
Saturday morning I woke immediately in this horrible ALTERED state of mind/consciousness...with fear that I have done irreparable damage to my thumb joints...probably due to the shade cloth work a month earlier (being the only activity I don't normally do) the other activities although hectic have never caused problems. I felt so angry at myself for the "damage" I had done doing the shade cloth.
I had gone from changing a tyre the day before (with barely a thought for my hands) to being too scared to lift the kettle Saturday morning after waking up in this horrible altered emotional state. The fear of impending chronic pain and disability totally overwhelmed me, the dark depression is terrible.
I was looking forward to these holidays and had so much planned to do around the house and yard at home. I have now even started being woken up at night by the thumb pain in both hands...it has never done that before. But I think it's the altered depressed state (fight/flight/DANGER) alert causing the wake ups.
The thumbs and hands in general feel weak and brittle...I wouldn't dare change a tyre now. The resting and babying my hands because I am too scared to use them is making them feel even weaker. I am avoiding using thumb braces too much otherwise the "I'm sick and broken" message to my brain will be reinforced exponentially!
I don't get it, other than the shade cloth stuff I haven't done anything different from what I usually do in the past 5 years. Surely a couple of isolated incidents (such as the pulling of shade cloth) isn't going to have done more damage to the arthritic joints? Maybe if I did it over a long period like a few months yes perhaps, but I did it only on two occasions a week apart and spent only about 30 minutes each time. If my hands were that bad really I surely would not be able to have done all of the things that I have usually been able to do. My hands were so stable that I had forgotten where my thumb braces were...I found them in a drawer.
So what has happened in my brain to cause this sudden trip to hell? My sudden unreasonable obsession with thumbs, I am looking at people's thumbs when I am shopping...what the hell? And the grief of remembering my life before the "event"!
Doctor says she doubts very much that a couple of 30 minute sessions of yanking shade cloth no matter how vigorous would have caused further arthritic damage "otherwise your hands would drop of in 6 months" her words LOL... however she says that I have probably strained both joints with the resultant pain affecting my mental health, when the pain improves my mental health will improve...I think she is more than likely right!
THIS IS IMPORTANT FOR MENTAL HEALTH...FLARE UP FROM STRAIN vs PERMANENT DAMAGE! I went through all that with my old back injury....permanent or will it get better...ended up being TMS for 15 years from a twisting/strain injury...pain is easier when you are winning rather than losing...the BRAIN generates all this!
To anyone who has read this massive "autobiographical account" thanks so much! I am hoping it may help someone in a similar situation by demonstrating how insidious and sneaky TMS can be! In saying that, I do have physical pathology, however it's more the mental state I am focused on here!
If anyone could shed some light or give me an opinion it would be great thank you.
