Post trauma Thumb arthritis following fall, pain percentage organic/TMS? Warning: Long story!

[JanAtheCPA]

Wow, I'm late to the party (haven't participated much lately) but what an amazing discussion! I could easily quote a bunch of great stuff but much of it has already been quoted. This, however, dear @Diana-M, hit me right between the eyes - it says a LOT in just a few short sentences:

I’m avoiding. And the minute I said it to myself this wave of intense sorrow roared in. I know I need to “sit with it.” I hate sitting with it. I hate knowing it. And aging has a lot of built in sorrow.

 

[bluesmuso]

The video I posted suggests that pain flares seem to want our brains to head back to stage 2 (of Tanner’s proposed 7 stages of healing). What @Baseball65 does is to only head back into stage 5 -the “meat and potatoes” of Sarno’s theory -to look for your rage. @bluesmuso you speak about your day of new symptoms arising as only what you did the day before.. could they have just capped off a slowly building set of stressors? I’m thinking about things like personality traits that seem to mix or build on internal stressors. Eg how did you REALLY feel about having to fix your breaks in the car and did you truly want to work out that day or did you feel you HAVE to (or else….). It can be (and with relapses, seem to be for many people) a bunch of small things that fill your bucket of stress to the brim. It’s why Baseball65 never lets up on the work -he is an excellent example of poking a hole in the bottom of the bucket and letting stressors that fill it, slowly drip out the bottom. Rarely does his reservoir ever overflow and when it does, he always knows why. Doesn’t have to go back to stage 2, and gets over the symptoms quickly. @JanAtheCPA has this awesome skill too, because she was reminded to keep up with that stress level and tend to herself first, when she was diagnosed with RA.

You are getting an opportunity to learn this valuable skill, right now.

The "new" symptoms on the Saturday were more a new mental focus on symptoms. The actual physical symptoms were more than likely there before...but my reaction to them changed dramatically. I can remember the hands hurting the day before, they often do when I am doing things that are demanding on the hands. I was running on a deadline with the car brakes, I had to remove the rotors and get them dropped off at the shop for re-machining before they shut so I was more focused on that deadline than the pain. The hands had been sore for a while but had been building to a crescendo which finalised as a panic attack with anxiety and depression...most likely TMS....same thing happened in 2018 following the injury!
The most unfortunate thing here is that the tugging of the shade cloth in the wind (something I usually wouldn't do because it's very demanding and vigorous on the hands where grip is required) created an "injury/damage event"...perfect for a TMS attack. I do have structural issues in the thumb cmc joints but it is usually in the background...the TMS "amplified" it causing the extreme fear and anxiety...."I have done more damage"...danger!!! These "ghosts" in our lives that scare us...sick of it!

 

[Diana-M]

...the TMS "amplified" it causing the extreme fear and anxiety...."I have done more damage"...danger!!!

Claire Weekes calls this “second fear” and it really IS the birthplace of TMS. If you give these things attention and concern, they blossom and stay.

 

[Cactusflower]

I suspect you have had moments like the stress of getting your car in order but don’t recognize them because they have been your norm. This video (and many others he has made) have so many valuable inspires like that.
Consider that your pre-conceived notion about damaged thumbs might not actually be what’s going on.
I had imaging showing massive arthritis and inflammation before I knew what TMS was. I mentally chose to believe that was very temporary and it left, never returned. The doctors were stumped!

 

[bluesmuso]

I suspect you have had moments like the stress of getting your car in order but don’t recognize them because they have been your norm. This video (and many others he has made) have so many valuable inspires like that.
Consider that your pre-conceived notion about damaged thumbs might not actually be what’s going on.
I had imaging showing massive arthritis and inflammation before I knew what TMS was. I mentally chose to believe that was very temporary and it left, never returned. The doctors were stumped!

Unfortunately the thumb CMC joints have organic/symptomatic damage from the original fall, it is my mental perception of the situation I am trying to rectify. Before the TMS anxiety attack they were always there but I didn't pay that much attention to them. The stability of the injury (never got better but never got worse) created a comfortable degree of complacency...it seemed that no matter what I did or didn't do they wouldn't get worse...just stay the same. That is why I am saying I want to "get back to where I was"...I functioned back then...I don't now!

One thing which is interesting is that I am not taking anti-inflammatories, and when I do it makes very little difference...which sounds a lot like TMS...my back pain was like that!
It seems to be a confusing mix for me!

 

[Diana-M]

Before the TMS anxiety attack they were always there but I didn't pay that much attention to them.

How you got there is your nervous system got so jacked up, you are getting scared easily. Do you meditate? That’s the quickest way to calm yourself back down and you’ll stop focusing on this. It’s like any health anxiety. You just picked this to focus on. Read what you just wrote. All of this has been NO BIG DEAL for years. Why is it now? Only because you are nervous. You are creating the problem. There isn’t one.

 

[bluesmuso]

How you got there is your nervous system got so jacked up, you are getting scared easily. Do you meditate? That’s the quickest way to calm yourself back down and you’ll stop focusing on this. It’s like any health anxiety. You just picked this to focus on. Read what you just wrote. All of this has been NO BIG DEAL for years. Why is it now? Only because you are nervous. You are creating the problem. There isn’t one.

Good point about the nervous system jacked up. But I also think that if I hadn't tugged and stretched the shade cloth on those occasions I would have had less problems. It's so annoying when it hurts days after the activity rather than during. If it hurt during the aggravating activity you'd stop doing it!

Had a good positive day yesterday, registered my motorbike and went for a ride. Also decided to keep my beloved V8 SS car which I had been stressing about due to it's high mileage and lower resale value. Watched the football last night and enjoyed it.

Woke up this morning not so good...feeling more negative again and you guessed it...hands are hurting. I did do a lot yesterday.

I look forward to the next positive day. Thanks so much for listening you people xx

 

[bluesmuso]

I'm feeing really down. Got recent hand x-ray results back...advanced degenerative change both 1st CMC thumb joints. The remainder of the wrist joint is relatively preserved. Doctor has offered a cortisone shot!

 

[balance4me]

Hi,
I also forgot to mention this! Writers (like me) and musicians (like you) often get symptoms that put their hands supposedly out of action. It’s really common. Our brains know exactly what will scare us the most. Our primitive brain wants to keep us alive. That’s its only priority. It thinks our buried emotions are too dangerous for us. It doesn’t want them to get out. It doesn’t care about anything else. I’m a writer and my hands cramped up so that I can’t type, can’t work. I kept on journaling and digging into my emotions anyway. I told my brain its little plan isn’t working. It’s not scaring me into not living. It’s not panicking me into depression anymore.

You mention emotions from the trauma of falling. But you will also have to look at your whole life. All your trauma. That’s what your TMS is trying to keep you from doing. This free program in the wiki can help you do that. https://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/Structured_Educational_Program (Structured Educational Program)

These overwhelming feelings you have in the morning are anxiety. A life changing book is Hope and Help for your Nerves, by Claire Weekes. I also get woken up in the night with bad symptom attacks. It used to be every night. Is it is less often since I’ve been working on my anxiety issues.

Your doctor said when your pain improves your mental health will improve. It’s the other way around. When your mental health improves, your pain will go away.

Most people in this wiki have repeated TMS episodes that get worse as time goes by. That’s me, too. But if we Do the Work, we can get healed. There are successful healers in here who have done it. They worked really hard and still keep at it to keep it at bay. Hope this helps you!

Diana--
*****
THANK GOD, THANK GOD, THANK GOD for your post!!

Like the original poster, I fell a few weeks ago on my left side--all the way to the pavement with my face hitting the ground. I know I tried to catch myself somehow with my hands, but--you know how a fall is--it happens so quickly you can't remember afterward what exactly happened. Anyway, a couple of days after my whole body stopped hurting, I began to experience pain in my hand, wrist, and then particularly in the index finger of my left hand. I immediately suspected TMS, but I thought there could also be a legitimate bodily process going on involving some excess fluid from inflammation from the fall.

Three weeks later and the pain has settled in that finger alone. But what has TRULY settled is the terror of having ARTHRITIS. Because, guess what? I'm a musician. Yes, of course. I have been afraid of arthritis for a few years now. I play the pedal harp, the lute and the harpsichord. And you can see how this would ruin my life. So OF COURSE!!

I have been trying to deal with the fear on my own, but now that I have read these posts I feel SO much better. The little brat TMS is at it again, blast him.

Coincidentally, I have been working hard for over a month to alleviate IBS, since I'm going on an extended trip to Rome in November and I'm so scared of having that issue while traveling. My fear with the IBS has diminished since the symptoms have improved, so TMS had to cast about for another issue to preoccupy my mind with. Truly, this stuff is incredible! I just keep telling myself Sarno's phrase "TMS is HARMLESS." The harmless part is really important and as I look back over all the TMS manifestations I've had in my life, I know that if they all had persisted I would be a bedridden mess by now. So clearly, they are harmless.

Anyway, thank you so much again for confirming me in laughing at the "boogey man" of TMS induced arthritis. Today I'm getting back to playing my instruments!!

 

[Diana-M]

@balance4me
Yay! I’m so glad I could help! That’s always my hope. It’s so sad we have to do this work to free ourselves—but we can’t give up hope! It sounds like you have a great attitude for overcoming your obstacles. You know what’s going on. You won’t let this get you. Sorry to hear about your fall. That’s no fun.