Post-TMS - NO more pain but left to face my problems head on

Hi all,

I know this forum should be focused about healing from pain... but I was wondering whether there's someone who has faced the situation I'm in right now. Last year I healed myself from my chronic pain thanks to this forum and the structured program, only to uncover the root of the pain. Pain no longer serves as a distraction so that now I am fully aware of the problems, and I am constantly thinking about how hopeless some things in my life are.

Basically, the main cause for my TMS was work-related. I'm a freelancer, and I don't get paid enough for what I do, payments arrive very late, I am given very demanding tasks (because clients know I work hard), and basically there isn't a way to change the situation because the market is limited. A therapist last year convinced me that I should change my attitude, and helped me deal with work related stress better - but lately I've concluded that there are still a lot of things I cannot keep accepting forever. I've therefore decided to try and look for full time employment in another area.

But of course it's proving to be very difficult. With eight years of experience in one sector, it's so hard to break into another. I've had a few first interviews, but for me it's very hard to convince people of my transferable skills just during one meeting. I've always been like this - it takes time for people to see me for who I really am - once they do, they trust me and like me, and my past employers have been upset when I've had to quit and move on, but the first time is different. I hate interviews. So I'm finding it really hard to get past a first interview.

So my question is this? How did you deal with your 'real' problems once you've figured out that they were the source of TMS? Once there was no more pain to distract you from them? Last year I used to think that pain was the only problem I had in my life, but now I know that the real problems relate to other situations. Any support would be great!

 

Hi, I can somewhat relate. I've been with the same employer for 15yrs but would really like to change. It's hard because opportunities are limited in my field and people are wary of why I would want to leave my employer after such a long tenure so I feel very trapped at times.

Lately I've been researching more about "positive psychology". I've purchased a book called "How to Hardwire Happiness". I'm trying to teach my mind to focus more on the present and to "take in the good" that's going on around me but that I'm missing because of having a "negativity bias". Anyway, this and breathing exercises are helping me to cope with my daily stresses a lot better.

Best of luck in your continued job search. I hope you're able to find something less stressful and that makes you happy. You're not alone in your feelings.

 

I've written about it before, but.... I found out I absolutely loathed the industry I worked in when I got 'cured'... Not only that, but my patience with other guys at work was severely diminished. At about 6 months cured I was very nearly starting fistfights at work.... something I hadn't done since I had 'grown up' (and got TMS).

Realizing that I might lose my job, I sought help from a therapist for the anger. I learned a lot. Having no pain to distract me I was desperate to change but didn't know how to.... but with TMS as a gentle reminder I had extra motivation to learn... and I finally 'grew up' albeit in adulthood. Lots of stoic literature, writing and prayer. I no longer have TMS OR the anger... but it took a minute. Hang in there!

 

We remove physical pain from our lives and we now have emotional pain to deal with. This was not an easy transition for me, especially without all the drugs I was taking to deal with my TMS, but I have no regrets. I was stuck in physical pain and didn't know how to get out of it until I discovered TMS healing techniques. The fact that I could recover from physical pain was empowering. These same tools can be used to deal with the emotional pain, so I can and do work through it now. I am much more aware and alive then when I had TMS. But life will always deliver some form of pain or dissatisfaction. There is no escape from that. As the Buddha says, "Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional."

 

I have made a distinction between and pain and suffering.... as Ellen reminds us, pain is inevitable and is the fuel for growth. It's virtually guaranteed if you inhabit the 3rd rock from the sun..... suffering is meaningless pain. The lesson hasn't been learned, the change not sought... the freedom or liberation not found. It is not only meaningless, but goes on endlessly and is 'dealt' with. Negotiated. Compromised. Most people would probably intellectually choose to be free, but when the chance for liberation comes there is something in it that terrifies them and they decide it would be better to suffer. I know... I have had both.

I have learned if you stare straight into the pain, the suffering is short or non-existent. I turn 52 next month... I am soooo tired of suffering.

choose the red pill

 

This is a real eye opener to me !!
I a not cured but much better : but
also a bit confused
Last year i thought that once the pain would get less : i would be overjoyed ..and i am happy with that... but also some stuff emotional is popping up now which is confusing.
I feel some kind of dissapointment i guess : worked so hard and stuff is improved but also new (or where they at the background?) difficult stuff is on my mind now.

In fact i started wondering if this realisation is keeping me from full recovery ? Is that possible : that i am scared to turn back to real' life.?
Some stuff was not on my plate because of the pain and limitations but will return when i would be 'cured'
This is a confrontating question to ask myself and i am not sure about the answer
This topic is a realy food for thought ..
always learning new things here

Karina