Positional vertigo...stomach upset...strange cough...

It has been a really long time since I have posted on here for support, but here I am feeling very challenged right now. It all started the Monday before Thanksgiving. My husband went to pick up his 14 year old son from Houston(three hours from us). I came home from work and took one look at my step-son and asked him "are you sick?' He started coughing and said yes. He had a fever of 101. I asked my husband why he went to pick up Jack when he was so sick and he said that his ex-wife didn't tell him and that he couldn't disappoint his son and not bring him home for Thanksgiving. I was really upset and ended up getting in an argument with my husband. He was very defensive and took my reaction to mean that I didn't want his son to be part of our family. I love my step son and we have a good relationship but I just couldn't understand how his ex-wife could send her son off so sick without even a phone call to discuss. When my children have the flu or a fever I always make sure that she knows. I also can't imagine ever sending my kids away when they are that sick. We took Jack to the clinic the next morning and it turned out that he had strep throat along with a cold and they put him on antibiotic. I felt irrationally mad for several days. I recognized that I was feeling really angry and so I journaled about it to explore more where it was coming from. The journaling didn't really seem to release the anger though. I could sense that there was a huge reservoir of anger that this whole Jack illness had triggered and I felt a little overwhelmed by it. Then I started to cough. It was a strange feeling cough and even now I would have a hard time describing it exactly. I had never had one like it before. My lungs were clear and it seemed to come from the bottom of my throat, like a tickle. By Saturday after Thanksgiving I had a fever and felt really terrible. I went to Urgent care and the doctor said the right side of my throat looked really bad even though I didn't have a sore throat. The strep test came back negative but the doctor recommended that I take antibiotics. I was hesitant to do so but he said it looked like it could be bacterial and if it was him, he would take the antibiotics. I felt so terrible that I decided to take them. I rarely get a fever and it had started days after the cough so I thought that perhaps it was bacterial. I felt a little better for about a day but then the antibiotics started to really upset my stomach. I pushed on and ended up taking them for 8 out of the 10 days prescribed. By the 8th day, the cough seemed to be coming up from my stomach. I have been coughing for weeks now but its not from my lungs. Once again, hard to describe. And then this morning, when I got out of bed I had some vertigo. This has thrown me into some panic. I went to see my doctor. He has known me for 20 years. He ordered some blood tests but he is not sure what is wrong with me. When he had me lie down on his table I got dizzy. He knows I have had positional vertigo before. He says if it persists he'll send me to the ENT doc next door again. He knows me really well and I can tell he thinks I am just being my normal neurotic self. I know this is a long post but I did forget something very important. I stopped drinking about 2 weeks ago when I started coughing. I have been wanting to stop for a while but whenever I try my anxiety levels rise. I'm not sure how it happened but I evolved into a daily drinker the last 3-4 years. I never drink a lot(1-3 glasses of wine or beer) but it has been steady. So I kind of think a lot of this is me dextoxing from alcohol. And then of course there is menopause. I am afraid to go to sleep tonight because of the vertigo. My therapist moved away a few months ago. I did make a few phone calls today because I do feel like I need to find someone.

 

Hi Anne, sounds like you are having a tough time. It sounds like you are letting your tms take you for a turn. That's ok. Just going through a time where you have a greater opportunity to deal with things. Try meditation, or the soften, sooth and allow meditation to calm down. Read the daily reminders. I think we are sent things to deal with us that bother us the most, like a cough we don't understand. It can be a real challenge to settle the nervous system. I have also been going through some challenges since mid-November, but I am getting through them one day at a time. My kids tell me they don't think I am doing as bad as I think I am doing. I bet that is the same for you.

How about writing an unsent letter to your therapist? That's a new one, it might get you through the night.

You are always so helpful to others, I hope this is some help to you.

 

Anne,

Hope this blows over for you soon and everything will be back to normal. To me it seems the fear has its gripe on you by trying to search for a answer. Trying to rush and fix the problem or search for the exact problem make problems worse at times. Essentially it can become a obsession which is tmsing as my buddy steve o would say. Sometimes we need to accept where we are at and give yourself some compassion. When I search hard for a answer of why I feel someway or why are my symptoms flaring up, it makes everything worse. When we cannot control the symptoms it's coming from a place of fear. For me it's sometimes best to go with the flow of life, it will never give you more than you can handle. As carl jung said "what you resists will persists" and "nothing inhibits feeling like thinking". We tmsers live some much in our heads and want answers now and will try frantically to figure things out, which in turn fuels the tms beasts. Maybe you need to just rest let go and live for each day. Dont let the fear get the best of you. Recovery is on the other side of fear. Love is the answer to fear and it's there for you every moment. You are a strong person and hope you get better soon.

Ryan

 

Dearest Anne,

I am so sorry to hear what you've been going through. It sounds like the definition of misery itself. So many scary symptoms at once.

Anne, I feel like I've come to know you through all the wonderful posts you have written on this Forum. One of the things I know about you is that you have a very creative unconscious brain that has pretty much thrown the kitchen sink at you in terms of different forms of TMS over the years. Despite this, you have made incredible progress and helped so many people (me included) with your wise and compassionate advice over the last year and a half. With this in mind, I'm going to go ahead and give my opinion about what I believe is happening to you now.

Your unconscious brain is delivering a truckload of scary TMS symptoms to you right now to distract you from your emotions that were triggered by the incident with your step son. I know how difficult it is to see symptoms as TMS when they are happening to you, as I've written about it many times on this Forum as it's happened to me. Your unconscious brain has found novel ways to scare and distract you. I think vertigo is the most insidious of TMS symptoms, because it literally turns your world upside down. I would take excruciating pain over that any day.

The incident you describe with your step son is so full of potential for TMS-inducing rage--at least it would be if it happened to me. I think there are several layers to it.

The first layer is the anger I would have at the total disregard shown to me and my needs by the actions of your husband's ex-wife (also toward your step son and husband, but this isn't about them). What she did is so wrong on so many levels that my inner child, inner parent, and adult would all be in a fit of rage. But what would really have induced TMS in me is how it would trigger old wounds and memories from being treated with total disregard throughout my childhood by the people who were supposed to love me. I know it's why I react so strongly to these kinds of incidents.

The next layer of anger would be in your husband's reaction. Here is the person who is supposed to be supporting me, and he has totally misunderstood me and my reaction. I would be wondering--does he not know me at all? I would be feeling abandoned. But then, because my self-esteem is so low, I would then begin to wonder if maybe he does know me and I am actually the kind of person who wouldn't want my step son to be a part of my family. I would begin to doubt myself and my motivations, and then be angry about that.

Yikes, what a minefield! Yes, I would have a major flare-up of TMS if this incident happened to me. I would need to be distracted from all those feelings.

Added to your situation is the fact that your therapist left town recently--which is more possible feelings of abandonment. And your decision to cut out drinking means that you have given up the most popular method people have for not feeling their emotions. So now your unconscious has to deal with the potential for more emotions coming to the surface. To me it makes perfect sense that you would be experiencing a major flare-up of very distracting, fear-inducing TMS right now.

So my advice, Anne, is to follow through on those phone calls and talk to someone--preferably someone who understands TMS, and who can help you get over the fear of the symptoms. Find a way to soothe yourself to replace the alcohol. Be extra kind and compassionate to yourself as you get over this flare-up. Realize that you are human and anger is a normal, human reaction. When things have settled down again (and they will) and you feel strong again (and you will), then you need to talk to your husband about the feelings the incident and his reaction to it triggered in you. You need and deserve his support.

You are in my thoughts. Wishing you peace, comfort, and a really good night's sleep.

 

Anne I do hope u r feeling much much better now. I think Ellen has hit the nail on the head with her post.

You had every right to feel angry at the fact that your huband's ex knowingly sent your ' strep son' over & u had every right to express that. I don't think u need to justify that in any way. Sometimes u r angry & its just that.

Of course anger is never linear or uncomplicated especially when it involves relationships. When we are angry we lash out, the the other party lashes out. Things are said whether we mean them or not. All sorts of emotions & feelings come into play. Things from the past are dragged up, there is miscommunication, misunderstanding & many assumptions are made. We feel vulnerable physically & emotionally. We r angry & hurt on many levels. You were physically down & caught the infection & u were emotionally down hence all the other symptoms. Body & mind both playing off each other. Perfect environment for tms.

Just 2 days ago I got angry about something but soon saw myself spiralling out of control. I knew if I stayed home things would escalate so I took myself out & had coffee with a friend & did something nice for myself. By the time I came home I was feeling much better & was actually able to deal with the issue more objectively & coherently.

I agree with Ellen that u need to talk things over with yr husband but of course only when u r feeling physically & emotionally strong.

In the meantime take care. Sending you lots of virtual chicken soup & hot chocolate.

Mala

 

Excellent advice as always Ellen & Mala.

Anne, you are always so compassionate and a pillar of support on this forum - your post are always enlightening and thoughtful. Thank you. I'm sorry to hear that you are going through such a hard time and my thoughts are with you.

You appear to be a very rational and level headed lady and it's by no means easy, Thanksgiving and Xmas are always stressful. I know from my personal experiences I would have been enraged if I was in your shoes, it's just a natural emotion.

I'm starting to realise by looking at my relationships that I would often confront people, create a hostile environment and cause inner conflict if something was not being done to my expectations. Thus, the next time I interact with that individual, I have already pre-defined the negative outcome before it has happened and so the cycle continues. While all the while this thought fuels the emotion which fuels the symptom. I know, i'm creating my own suffering

What i'm trying is to look at is how I interact with people and break the habit of pre-conceived thoughts rather than trying to change others to be inline with my own. I'm trying to focus on the moment and look at my communication with others and ask myself will the person change? (probably not) or, should I love that person or let go of the thought?

From my point of view, your anger was probably not meant for your husband, i'm sure you love him and your stepson dearly, perhaps it was meant for his ex for being inconsiderate towards your husband and stepson.

I hope my posting helped a little Anne.

I'm wishing you happy thoughts and good health.

God bless,

Mike

 

Wow, I asked for support and I got it!!! There is something so incredibly soothing and healing about knowing there are others who truly do understand. This incident with my step-son's illness did bring up a land mine for me and I should have reached out for support sooner. Ellen, your description of what might have been going on with me at the time was so accurate I burst out crying. Since I was very young I have been left holding the bag of consequences for the actions of those who were supposed to be taking care of me. Not only did I not feel safe but the level of unpredictability was so extreme that it would have made any lab rat go nuts. I survived by depending on myself and taking care of others. My husband's ex-wife has done many things over the years that have completely outraged me but there is no recourse. When I first met my husband eight years ago and my step-son was just 6 years old, she would call and report terrible things to the police. She said once that my husband had locked him in a room at his work. Of course, when the police arrived, he was quietly sitting at my husband's desk coloring. She would smash Xmas gifts in front of him, and was very verbally threatening to my husband. There was not much that we could do because we had to protect Jack at all costs and could not aggravate her. Before they were divorced she had an affair, which is not at all acceptable in her culture. And so she did everything she could to blame my husband and separate him from his son. My ex-husband on the other hand took half of all our assets(after I supported him for over 10 years) and then has been a very infrequent visitor in our children's lives. He squandered all of the cash from our divorce and is expert at playing the pathetic victim. My husband seems to feel I don't understand the pain of separation he feels from not living with his son, and I often feel he doesn't understand what its like to be the one with primary responsibility all of the time. My ex-husband has never paid child support or picked up his kids for more that an afternoon at a time. My husband's ex-wife always complains and accuses my husband of not doing enough. These blended families can be very complicated. I have gotten much better at handling things one day at a time when the kids are sick but it was always very stressful for me. Times when they are suddenly choking on food, falling down stairs, or come screaming "mom, I'm hurt really bad!" There were so many times I wanted to run in the other direction, but of course we can't. Every parent has their survival stories. Mike, Mala, Ryan, Peggy, Ellen, thank you so much for helping me recognize this for what it is - TMS. Clearly my subconscious had to come up with a few new tricks. And it worked!!! Recovery is on the other side of fear. Ryan, that is so true! I'm going to be reading all of your posts again. So many wonderful insights and great advice! It really does help. Thank you.

 

Hi Anne,

My thoughts are with you, that really does put it all into context.

I think the most important thing is to cultivate and strengthen those relationships that are important; your husband, son and step-son. I'm sure they too have already seen your exes for what they are.

I know its not easy, but as long as you can love those who are important to you and let go/distance from past relationships which are toxic - fuel negative emotions and serve no purpose, you will be a lot happier and radiate positive energy internally and externally to those you love and care for.

I'm glad you have reached out to us all.

God bless you,

Mike

 

Separation and divorce really has an emotional ripple effect.
I notice it affects me as just a friend to those going through either kind of relationship.
I think you all are handling the problems real well. Love those you can, and who want your love
and friendship, and let go of the others. Just let those relationships drift. I think about them
like friends who moved to the other side of the country.

 

I have nothing much to add to everyone's great responses apart from my realising recently that any strong reactions I have to a person or situation in the present are all, without exception, stemming from some event in my past.

 

yb44, you've come to a great step forward in TMS healing by realizing your present problems with people stem from an event in your past.
New problems trigger painful memories that need to be dealt with.

 

Anne I'm coming in here late, and have nothing to add to those wonderful replies above. I just want you to know how much you are appreciated on this forum. I'm pleased that Ellen's response has been able to give you more insight. Sometimes it's hard to see the wood for the trees, but Ellen's post above is so spot on. I hope that you are less fearful now of these whacky symptoms. Be safe in the knowledge that your rage/soothe ratio just threw you off balance and don't fear the consequences. Treat yourself to some "me" time. You are loved and cherished on this forum. All the best, Colly.

 

Ah, Colly, thank you. I am doing better. I'm seeing a new therapist next Tuesday and very excited about that. This has all been a very interesting lesson for me and I am still processing. I am so moved by the love and support here.

 

Anne: I'm new to this forum but have had extensive experience (5 years) with BPPV diagnosis. Recently had my 5th bout which as you are aware the symptoms or residual effects can last as much as 3-6 months to fully go-away. I use the epley-maneuver to disloge the "crystals (ololiths)" to move them to the proper position in the ear to stop causing the vertigo. I want to say that the interesting thing I have discovered about this condition has come from much research and reflection and carfully reviewing my past experiences/symptoms. I agree with a Dr. Parks (he himself has BPPV) and what he REALLY feels is going on with us. His theory has come to be for me the most logical and realistic theory based no the facts and my medical experiences and other I know who have this terrible disorder. Also, I see such a connection to his theory and Dr. Sarno's TMS. His theory is that unless we were injured (which accounts for many cases of BPPV) they do not really know the cause of the crystals/ololiths for breaking off. Doctors do say a virus before the vertigo symptoms also could be a reason as well as Menieres disease; but as many as 50% get BPPV for no reason. Dr. Parks theory (which came about AFTER he got BPPV) is that other factors play a role in this disorder. "Any infections, whether common cold or sinusitis causes swelling the nose and throat which narrows the upper airway, which narrows the throat even further, leading to more obstructions, causing more reflux....causing sleep deprivation. Sleep deprivation of any kind, sleep apnea, upper airway resistance syndrome, or insomnia can heighten your nervous system, leading to hypersentitive sensors. (like a migraine and certain noises or bright light can make you cringe) In the same way a hypersensitive inner ear sensor can over-react to any extra form of stimulation, including otoliths." "So ultimately, it may not be the free-floating stone, per se, that causes your symptoms, but that if your nervous system is extra sensitive due to various forms of sleep deprivation or added STRESS, then you can suffer classic BPPV symptoms." Also, research has shown that many people say that prior to the BPPV they had long term uncontrollable stress and/or a major life event out of their control immediately prior to the development of vertigo-namely employment factors or complications involving famly or intimate relationships. For me, I definitely can attest to both (heightened nervous system and upper respiratory problems (allergies)) before every bppv episode. The worst part of this illness is that if you didn't have anxiety/depression, etc. before the vertigo the disorder is debilitating, so you will have it afterwards in dealing with it. My understanding of TMS makes this explanation so clear. An emotional (stress, I believe conscious and unconscious) causing a physical reaction. I happened to be reading Dr. Sarno's "The Divided Mind" and was really getting stuff out when what happened "vertigo". So clear to me the TMS connection. I hope you are well soon and all who get this "symptom" can get through it quickly and move on.

 

HI Jane. Thanks for writing. That is all very interesting. Its funny because I hadn't thought about this post at all since I wrote it and when I started reading the first few lines, I thought that perhaps it was written over a year ago(a year ago from this December) and then I realized it was just this last December! That's only four months ago and yet it feels like it was so long ago. In this forum we talk a lot about fear and fear has plagued me for most of my life. I don't believe at this point that the BPPV is truly dangerous and yet nothing generates more fear in me than feeling dizzy. I can see how the fear of being dizzy has magnified all of the symptoms. I know my doctor mentioned stress several times as a potential cause and I always wondered how the stress made it happen. And then the time before last when I had it the most severely, I noticed many inconsistencies in the purely physical explanation. Perhaps I will never completely understand the reason that it comes and goes as it does, but I do know if I can somehow learn to be less afraid of the dizziness when it does come, then it will be much easier to live with. That is much easier when I am not feeling dizzy! Its also good to know that when it is not there, it is easy to forget when it last tormented me. Its nice to meet someone else who knows what its like.

 

Hi Anne: I don't think you should fight the fear. The fear is normal and you should let the fear be there just not giving it too much attention sort of like a dark rain cloud off in the distance. It's there but your still having your picnic. I think your doctor is saying that stress can cause dizziness which I think he means anxiety because when we are anxious we breathe different causing lightheadness/dizziness. My ENT would never acknowledge to me that stress had anything to do with BPPV he would just say that stress and allergies don't help it. I think he was trying to calm me down because it was my first bout with it and it was a difficult one and he knew that stress was not good for it. After several appointments he finally admitted that "some"people have anxiety from the vertigo experience. For me, it would have been better for him to tell me that anxiety is common and normal. Ironically, after that first episode seemed resolved (after one month of other exercises instead of the Epley) he said to me "go enjoy your life, it's like you have a new one". Obviously, after it was over he felt comfortable telling me how debilitating the condition with added anxiety as a norm. I wish he would have been more upfront about anxiety's role when I first came to him. I had learned so much about anxiety while going through peri-meopause. Instead he made light of the anxiety and I thought something was wrong with me in how I was handling the disorder. I have come to learn that it is commonplace for people who have had BPPV, even years past, to experience anxiety over the fear of the disorder. For example: A University of PA Hospital paper to medical doctors explains the unconscious mind of a person who has lived with past vertigo experiences and how they are hyper sensitive to their environment even after years of no vertigo. They use this example: You are in your car sitting at a red light and all of a sudden traffic on the side starts to move (but you still have your foot on the brake) and you feel as though you are moving backwards. This is a normal experience we have all had but when it happens to a person who has suffered from vertigo (even years ago) can cause them a panic attack. Reason, as we know, the subconscious brain remembers the experience (even though we are not thinking about it in the drivers seat) and triggers the defense mechanism. Other drivers just blow the experience off as weird but people like us have a much more terrifying thought. Now think about it you have had that trigger going off 24/7 during your vertigo recovery ingraining it in your unconscious. It becomes difficult, as you note to tone down the hypersensitivity we have to our environment. Your not alone this is NORMAL for people who have had vertigo to have anxiety as a secondary illness over the vertigo as a secondary experience. When I perform epley maneuver on myself I am very scared because I know when I lay back (on my bed) and performing the procedure that I am bringing on the vertigo (which is frightening) but I need to do this to move the crystals (otoliths) from the wrong canal into a place where they cause no dizziness. Sorta Sadistic making yourself suffer to get relief. (laugh) But, nevertheless, they work. Your mind is meant to give you fear when it is threatened and vertigo is dangerous because you could get hurt. You mentioned in your original post about menopause. Well I can tell you I had first experienced anxiety when in peri-menopause and the hormonal connection to taking worry from 0-100. Look up peri-menopausal/menopause symptoms and you will see a ton of them most relating to all kinds of odd feelings of physical sensations, expecially relating to balance. Our anxiety SYMPTOMS are always going to be the ones we fear the most-mine as yours is dizziness, off balance. By, now I know, TMS gets the most bang for its buck if it throws me a balance issue. As a person who always knew a connection between mind/body but am just starting to get it reading Dr. Sarno's books, I have found a wonderful book (years ago) that has helped me through the mind/body connection to anxiety. "Hope and Help for Your Nerves" by Dr. Claire Weaks. Its a cheap paperback written a while ago that has changed my life in helping me deal with anxiety. Dr. Weakes is deceased now but her short book (which other "experts" have used as a basis for their costly programs, etc.) really simply puts in perspective what your physical and mental body is going through when you have a heightened nervous system (anxiety, depression, ocd) and she teaches you how to "float through the anxiety" and not let it be bigger than what it simply is and that is "a heightened sensitive nervous system that can cure itself very quickly" Of course, I keep it handy along with Sarnos's now, and have bought many copies for friends. Also, if you don't know the Epley maneuver take a look at this video on utube of Dr. Travis Stork/Vertigo from the Doctors show. He had vertigo symptoms the day before and they did an epley maneuver on him. His last response was "I hope this works..." He was trying to be brave, and was, but you could see the uncomfortableness of his experience. For those who have suffered through my long post I believe that everyone can learn from this, no matter what your physical/mental struggle is. Anxiety, depression, etc., we are programmed that we need to fight our fears, anxiety, etc., when really that just makes us more anxious. We really need to accept and allow the symptoms to be there for a while, not responding (not fighting) and eventually our nervous system becomes less sensitive and the symptoms go away. Of course, this takes practice and we need to remind ourselves of it just like TMS. We are sensitive souls but we tend to allow others (and ourselves) to not treat ourselves as such. Our minds are amazing. Good luck in your journey.

 

I've had vertigo and believe it was from emotional distress. It went away quickly when I told myself that was the cause.
I also sat down and did some deep breathing.
I afterward asked my doctor about it and he said dizziness and vertigo can go away fast by taking Meklizine, an over the counter medication called "Travel Sickness" from the Rugby company. It's very cheap at the drug store or online from amazon.
I keep it handy just in case.
But I almost never use it because I know the vertigo is from something troubling or worrying me.

 

Thanks, Walk for your great insight. I too believe mine positional vertigo is also from emotional distress, unfortunately this long term stress causes a physical disturbance in the inner ear. Meklizine, although excellent for a lot of vertigo, it is ineffective for my type because physically the othliths are displaced in the wrong canal and have to be either repositioned (by head movements) or just waiting it out (which can take up to six months). I took Meklizine with my first attack and learned that Meklizine suppresses the vestibular system to help vertigo symptoms but does not allow the brain to fully engage in recovery. Same with anxiety medicine or benedril, or any of med that effects the neurological system. So, I absolutely agree with stress being the cause and now, after reading Sarno's books, I have implemented journaling and his other suggestions hoping that dealing with the TMS will fully eliminate that crazy "vertigo" symptom from my life. I would love to think it away like you. Also, the deep breathing is good for vertigo, another doctor, Dr. Park, also believes stress causing the sensitivity to the inner ear hence vertigo and also clogged airway. Makes sense because oxygen deprivation of any sort can cause stress on the body. So thank for your post.

 

Thanks so much for your reply Jane. The first two or three times I had BPPV, the epley worked after one or two times and then I was just left with a residual anxiety and a low level motion sickness that was most likely caused by the anxiety. Several years ago when my GP sent me to an ENT, she inadvertently moved the crystals to the anterior canal and then it was a much more involved recovery. I was sent to a balance center and they trained me in some additional, epley like excercises, and instead of dizziness, I had a nystagmus for several months. Basically when I would lay on my side, the room would visually move up and down. After the several months, the balance therapist said I was 90% better but could not understand why it was not 100%. She referred me to a neurologist, but I did not go. After a while it either went away completely or my brain adapted somehow. I put a lot of my focus on the TMS recovery because I was in chronic right sided head/neck pain at the time. I have a lot of family responsibility and a very stressful job, but physically I have been feeling really good recently. The bout of BPPV in December was interesting because it only occurred during a physical exam with my GP. He went to examine me on the table and as I layed down I got dizzy. My doctor was reassuring and did not pay too much attention. He said to contact the ENT again if it continued. I had an immediate intense fear response that created a lot of anxiety and upset stomach, but not really anymore dizziness. No epley. So that episode was obviously some past memory/trigger of laying down on the doctor's examining table. Interesting. I appreciate everything you said about the fear being common and normal. I need to stop giving myself a hard time for having it and accept it as part of the process.

 

Thank you so much Anne for relaying your experiences. I have learned so much from you. I agree BPPV is always triggered by stress/TMS. I can honestly say, looking back at each of my bouts, stress played the major role. I, too, am looking at TMS for this but need to get proficient in putting my brain immediately to the cause and not worry about the symptoms, i.e. pain/vertigo. I believe so much in the mind/body connection even before I read Dr. Sarno's books so I easily accept pain as a symptom of TMS but I am struggling to get my brain to fully go there for vertigo. It makes sense why my brain keeps going back to vertigo symptoms it can't get my attention with pain, too much proof for me that my pain is always tension. My fear of vertigo is so great that even my anxiety symptoms are always motion related. Just had some long dental work done (3 procedures) and I was worried that it would trigger a BPPV attack (as medical info states can happen), so I tried to be calm (but very stressed over procedure and possible vertigo) came through all three with nothing-no vertigo. Felt really wonderful that vertigo didn't happen and just really relaxed. But here I am a month later with a bout. It seems to be gone now but your post makes so much sense. I guess we can't help our fear, obviously some situations almost warrant it, but I definitely need to do more work in letting my brain fully accept the TMS connection. Thank you so much for responding to me.