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Please help - need advice

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by Meblue, Nov 13, 2020.

  1. Meblue

    Meblue New Member

    So I've been reading here for awhile and would like some advice from people who have what sounds like what I have. Several years ago I had a fall and my neck was thrown back. Right after that my whole body just felt weird (the muscles in my legs felt stiff and my body just felt sore and weak). I had an xray but never an MRI and was put on antidepressants because everyone thought I was crazy. I have spent the remaining time googling and convincing myself I damaged my spinal cord and have these sensations in my body because of this accident. Since I never had closure with an MRI, I still feel that to this day. To say I have a lot of anger and depression over this is an understatement. When I lay down at night is the worst - it feels like my skin and muscles are being electrocuted. When I wake up I'm stiff all over and I try to go for long walks every day to distract myself. I think this TMS makes sense but I also think there could be a problem in my neck and this is always going to be in the back of my mind.
     
  2. Meblue

    Meblue New Member

    I also should say I dont necessarily have lots of pain, it more like my skin feels sore, itchy, burning sensations all over and my legs just feel like there are weird sensations inside of them. I wish I could explain better but I just feel like I want to jump out of my skin all day long.
     
  3. miffybunny

    miffybunny Beloved Grand Eagle

    It definitely sounds like TMS. I had all of the sensations you describe in your body as well and I got better. The pain and symptoms you are experiencing are all "learned pain" or "neural circuit" pain stemming from the brain. It's not in your "head"...it's very real but there is nothing actually wrong with your neck or body or spinal cord. They are simply false alarm signals coming from the danger center of the brain. The trauma of the car accident was the last straw in activating the alarm mechanism in your brain. We all have a built in alarm and sometimes after accumulated stressors, all it takes is one triggering event to tip us over into the chronic pain zone. All that means is that your fear and anxiety about the symptoms and your thoughts about what could have happened to your body, keep activating that danger alarm center. The fear is the fuel for the TMS and those neuropathways keep getting reinforced until the brain simply gets stuck in a habit. Your brain is actually trying to "protect" you to alert your to danger but now your job is to instruct it (using your conscious mind and thoughts) that you are safe and ok and it can stop alerting you. This is at the crux of your work but the good news is that it's totally reversible ! It's also quite common and normal so there is no need to feel crazy or different at all. That is simply how we are designed.
     
    Cap'n Spanky and backhand like this.
  4. Meblue

    Meblue New Member

    Thanks so much for your reply. I spent probably 2 years convincing myself I was going paralyzed and the last 3 realizing that probably isn't going to happen and just trying to figure out why I feel this way. How long did it take for you to get better? During this time period i have had serious problems in life along with my mother dying, marital problems and midlife crisis. I just feel so tired to even try to get better. I'm uplifted when I read stuff on thos website because maybe I can start running again someday - I was a lifelong runner and it was my favorite thing to do in life. It was my mood lifter and kept my sanity and I dont have it anymore. I feel old, unattractive and am in pain - it is hard to try to be positive in my mind.
     
  5. Meblue

    Meblue New Member

    Oh, and can you tell me what types of symptoms you had - it's hard for me to describe how my body feels. Like my skin just hurts and my muscles feel sore in the morning and when I'm laying down at night, sometimes it feels like I'm burning all over. The funny thing is I walk every day for a long time so I know there is no way I can have a problem with my spine, at least not anything serious.
     
  6. miffybunny

    miffybunny Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi @Meblue ,

    The brain creates all sensations including even blindness, paralysis , loss of voice, auditory etc etc etc. TMS symptoms can take on a myriad forms and I experienced many bizarre and extreme types of sensations (burning, stabbing, electrical, swelling, temperature changes, shooting pains tenderness, vasoconstriction, the feeling of walking on rocks, the sensation of being drilled with a power drill, prickling, spasms...the list of horrid things go on and on lol) BUT it was all harmless and meaningless . It was all created by the brain. You definitely have TMS based on everything you describe, as well as learned responses to certain triggers (positions, time of day, pain coming and going, moving around etc etc). The good news is that if you absorb the knowledge, accept the TMS diagnosis and do the work, you will be back to running and resuming your life in no time. It ALL comes down to mindset. Change the mind and the symptoms will cease to have a purpose.
     
    backhand likes this.
  7. Meblue

    Meblue New Member

    Thanks so much for your response. It's funny because I have been reading Sarnos books over the past couple months and some other related books and giving this another try. I also started eating very healthy over the past month and I started to think I was feeling better. I bought a pair of running shoes last weekend and Saturday was a great day - felt energized and excited. I envisioned myself running again this winter. Sunday I started getting a horrible stabbing pain in the back of my head and it lasted a few days. I started yelling at the pain and telling it to go away. I dont have the pain today - it's like the pain knew I was trying to get better and wanted to start running. I hope I can keep up with the positive feelings for awhile. Thanks again for your help!
     
    Cap'n Spanky and miffybunny like this.
  8. miffybunny

    miffybunny Beloved Grand Eagle

    That's great! Keep it up! Just remind yourself you are not broken and you can't hurt yourself. Constantly reassure yourself that you are safe as are your emotions. When symptoms distract you, keep calm and indifferent and know it's temporary. Check in with yourself emotionally and shift focus. The more you maintain an attitude and mindset of indifference, the easier the process will be.
     
    Kellso likes this.
  9. Cap'n Spanky

    Cap'n Spanky Well known member

    Meblue - I can't add much to to miffybunny's excellent response and spot on advice. I'll just note that its' very common for symptoms to temporarily come roaring back while in recovery. Your brain doesn't want give up on TMS, but if you stay the course the benefits can be tremendous.

    Also, if you find yourself still struggling, I can heartily recommend Alan Gordon's (free) Pain Recovery Program:
    http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/painrecovery/ (Pain Recovery Program)
    I was able to rid myself of pain issues a long time ago thanks to Dr Sarno's books and the wisdom of a lot of other folks who believe in this program. But over the years I have struggled with some strange fatigue/auto-immune symptoms that have been stubborn to rid myself of. I have found Alan Gordon's Pain Recovery Program an absolute revelation!! It's relatively brief and not overly cumbersome to follow, too.
     

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