Pelvic pain

Shoxx

Shoxx

Peer Supporter
hi everyone I’m new to site but have always tried to follow the tms practices the latest issue I’m having 3months now is pelvic pain I was told was prostatitus I’ve been checked and told now there’s physically nothing wrong with me after anti and scans etc even had nerve injections but nothing as worked
Ive done full cycle I don’t no why I never stuck to my guns about this being tms I guess it was coz of the area I tried writing and medating etc all the usual steps but I could not get the pain away I also suffer with ocd so I’m constantly checking in with my pain and I don’t no how to stop thinking about this is there anything else anyone thinks I can do or had soniukar problems
One minute it’s in my groin then scrotum etc then buttocks like stabbing pains then underneath then front I’m trying to stay positive but struggling a lot
Any advice would be great
Kind regards
Shoxx
 
Hi Shoxx,

I went through a similar story. Was told it was prostatitis, went through a few antibiotics with no help, then was told it was a nerve issue.

One thing that really helped me was to focus on outcome independence. For me at least, I found that the key to escaping the pain was to quit caring about it. At first, when I started TMS work, I noticed I had this thought in the back of my mind that, "Oh God, I really want this to go away! Now! Is the TMS work helping?" I'd keep monitoring my level of pain on a near constant basis.

Ultimately, I only found myself getting better when I treated the pain as entirely irrelevant and just lived my life as usual. It's a very hard process and it did take me a while. I actually came to a point where although I believed I could be cured, I had to accept life with the pain before it went away. If I kept letting the pain send off alarm bells and grab my attention, it only strengthened its hold on me. It's kind of like a Chinese finger trap: the more you struggle, the more it pulls you in. I had to relax and accept it before I could get free.

Hope you find an approach that works for you. There's a lot of stories here about folks with pelvic pain, and a lot of success stories! I've been better for a little over a year now, and I'm really happy you've found it after only 3 months. Best of luck to you.
 
Hi thanks so much for replying did ur pain move around as well I all the different lower positions. Every time I think I’ve got it under control bam it’s back 1st thing in the Morning is the worst I try to do all the program steps of allowing pain in etc but I find I’m thinking about it 24 7 and don’t no how to switch the obsessive part off how long was you on pain for if you don’t mind me asking
Thanks again
Shoxx
 
Shoxx said:
Hi thanks so much for replying did ur pain move around as well I all the different lower positions. Every time I think I’ve got it under control bam it’s back 1st thing in the Morning is the worst I try to do all the program steps of allowing pain in etc but I find I’m thinking about it 24 7 and don’t no how to switch the obsessive part off how long was you on pain for if you don’t mind me asking
Thanks again
Shoxx
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Hi Shoxx,

My pain definitely moved, and that happened when I recognized it was TMS. That was actually a really great sign that I was happy to see, since a lot of folks have their pain move around once the TMS starts to lose its hold; as I understood it, your brain is trying to get you focused off discovering that your main symptoms are TMS, so it tries to get you preoccupied with new ones. For me, my pain moved down from pelvic region down to my feet one day. That was the day I believed TMS 100%, because your pudendal nerve does not run down to your feet. It was a very odd but happy day, and a bit of a milestone in my journey.

I completely understand about thinking about the pain 24 7 and it can be very hard to shift your attention. For me, I had a bit of a unlucky piece of help: my house flooded and so I was unpleasantly forced to focus on that, but it got my mind off my pain and really helped me out in the TMS department.

I do have a few go-to's that have helped. Anything that really captures my attention where I get really absorbed. For me, that could be working on a project, reading a really interesting book: anything that requires my close attention. It was hard at first, especially after spending so much time focused on my pain, but with enough patience with myself and continued practice, I was able to permanently shift my focus away from the pain.
 
Hi thanks for replying again really helps noing you can beat it it’s very hard talking to family who don’t understand tms if this was any other part of the body I think I could move on quicker I guess I’m keeping it round due to being frustrated that the normal self help are not working I will try to use some of ur tips
Thanks again
Shoxx
 
Shoxx, my experience with pelvic pain was initially just thinking it's the worst thing ever (you'll probably agree the symptom list is a little like a horror film if you spend time on those "help" forums) with no end in sight. It took me 10 months before I crossed paths with the TMS theory. What an amazing relief! Consider yourself lucky to be here after only 3 months. You will get better. It will be complete but it will take time. I'm about 99% but the OCD in me wants 100%....NOW! Here is the thing, it's not a physical thing we are dealing with. This is heavy duty human condition type inquiry. Takes time. Patience, I keep telling myself. As life altering and humbling as this is, it has a positive. Something wasn't right and TMS is the tool being used to bring upon change and enlightenment. Be grateful you have found this out early.

As for symptoms moving around, absolutely. All strange combinations in the pelvic area. When I first learned of the TMS theory it tried to hide in my foot! Now, it's just a faint pulse on our friend the Pudendal nerve. Not when I'm busy or "stressed". Usually when all is quiet or I'm doing boring office work. It keeps getting less and less and one day will leave for good. I had a week off from it when I hurt my shoulder playing soccer. The pain in the shoulder must have been enough distraction. I did have immediate improvement after learning of TMS but not the miracle cure you sometimes get. (And I hope you are on your way with!)

The self help stuff on this site is good but I've found the most improvement through mindfulness and meditation (check for MBSR courses in your area) and just being in the moment as much as I can. Started playing rec league soccer again, started playing pickup hockey, riding the bike, play wrestling with my 8 yr old son. Also been investigating "bigger picture" type thoughts like what it all means, etc.

Pelvic pain is debilitating and emasculating and I think there is an element of post traumatic stress after you work your way out of the tough physical pain. The good news is you are on the right track. Believe it. I might only be a little further down the road on the journey than you so take my advice with a grain of salt but I am absolutely sure this is a passing phase. Good luck to you on your journey.
 
Thanks for your words sheltered it’s nice boing I’m not the only one going through this all though I would not wish this on you or anyone tonight I had my 1st pain 3 2 hours felt amazing until i crashed back down it’s hars picking itself back up I’ll try to use ur tips how long has this been going on for you and was there anything that set it off for you
Kind regards
Shoxx
 
Just read ur earlier post it really is scary stuff
I keep trying to stop myself thinking about it I totally believe it’s tms but because of my ocd I’m not sure how often I should keep trying all the stuff reading books etc is there a chance u can over obsess about tms does anyone no I seem to constantly be reading books or telling myself it’s tms and then I meditate etc
Or is it just best to try to forget
Very confusing
Kind regards
Shoxx
 
Oh man, Shoxx! It's not meant to be scary. Once the curtain is pulled back and you realize it's all created in the mind and you have the control it turns a bit comical. Even before hearing of TMS I used to ponder "Is this for real?!?" The symptom list is ridiculous.

I've read The Divided Mind and Healing Back Pain by Dr. Sarno. Other than that, I've been trying to take a bigger picture approach. Lots of interesting information related to Buddhism out there.

I definitely think TMS is obsessed over and I haven't quite figured that out 100% yet. Like I said, I'm SO close to being 100% but then what? Still got to deal with this human condition. I look at it like I'm working on some pretty magical stuff here. Think how much suffering is actually all caused in the world by the same tension in the mind. Addiction, workaholism, mental illness, TMS. Just distractions our minds create. Heavy. Worth the time to work through. Evolution.

Anyway, I'm no expert and I think we all need to find our own way. Take what you want/need from my musings. I do remember early on the euphoria of just putting on some ACDC and running my guts out. Like giving the middle finger to TMS. Back to living life before the fear of physical pain entered the psyche. Maybe get some projects going you enjoy that give you something else to dwell on. That has helped me very much.

I don't check the TMS forums very often. Maybe once a month as I feel pretty informed now. Might be why we don't hear much success stories on pelvic pain. Everyone needs a bit of distance....Thankful for the brave souls on this forum that have beat it 100% and help us. Someday we'll unite and bring down the whole farcical industry that exists to perpetuate the pain.
 
Shoxx, one more thing that might help. You mentioned you are meditating. Good stuff. One thing that helps me is I can get rid of the pain (well, not really pain, just a faint pulsing feeling in the rectum) at will. I get these a few times a day and they usually go away in a few seconds but if it persists I just visualize in my mind blasting it out with an intense light. Sounds silly, but it works for me! I don't have the sensation if I'm busy only when still so easy to just mentally blast it out. My frustration at the moment is I don't want to even bother having to do the visualization! Seems like a hack and I'm looking for full resolution. Might be of benefit to you. But you have to believe in it. We know what the mind can do to create pain so it's just using the power of the mind on itself. Give it a few tries. Good luck.
 
So glad you took the time to reply for some reason when you read or listen to someone else it really calms you down funny since I been excepting fully tms my anxiety has been coming back up which is what I had a lot of before the pain so all though I’m anxious I’m taking this as a good sign that it’s no longer repressed I’m so pleased your nearly there just knowing this gives me new self belief
It really takes its toll on other family memembers
I just want to get back living and stop having 3 baths A day which I see the funny side of that
Sorry to keep replying as it must be hard to listen to it when we spend so long trying to run away from this
Your kind words have ment so much
Kind regards
Shoxx
 
I'm so glad to be of whatever help I can. Sounds strange to hear, but the anxiety is a good sign! Your TMS is on the move. Anxiety and depression are just other manifestations of TMS. Boils down to tension in the mind.

I used to take multiple baths daily and hated them! Was definitely working against me. If you like baths, then go for it but if not, the baths don't help a damn thing! Just placebo for some. Forget the physical, focus on the mind. That is the way out.

I hear you about the toll on the family. My wife suffered along with me. My son, I kept it away as much I could but he still knew things were not right. That just added to the emotional pain. Everything is so much better for me now. It will improve for you as well. Just take it easy on yourself. Be patient. You'll find yourself again. We all do eventually.
 
sheltered said:
I'm so glad to be of whatever help I can. Sounds strange to hear, but the anxiety is a good sign! Your TMS is on the move. Anxiety and depression are just other manifestations of TMS. Boils down to tension in the mind.

I used to take multiple baths daily and hated them! Was definitely working against me. If you like baths, then go for it but if not, the baths don't help a damn thing! Just placebo for some. Forget the physical, focus on the mind. That is the way out.

I hear you about the toll on the family. My wife suffered along with me. My son, I kept it away as much I could but he still knew things were not right. That just added to the emotional pain. Everything is so much better for me now. It will improve for you as well. Just take it easy on yourself. Be patient. You'll find yourself again. We all do eventually.
Click to expand...
 
Ur advice is invaluable I got married on Friday I’m hoping now that’s over with things will settle down I have 3 children and need to get back to myself for the sake of them is there any particular meditation you did or any specific times you did anything or just tried to keep bizzy
Kind regards
Shoxx
 
Nothing specific. But as c90danwaiel mentioned earlier about outcome independence, you can't really meditate with the goal of healing. Healing is a side effect of being more mindful and in tune with your emotions. As hard as it is, patience and kindness to yourself is key. The more patient and forgiving with myself I've become, the better I get. I haven't achieved Jedi like mindfulness yet but it's all a process. We all seem to have different timelines for full resolution. Wishing you a speedy recovery.
 
Once ur fully behind tms and doing all the things ur supposed to do how do u stop itself getting frustrated I’m finding this the most difficult
Kind regards
 
I just want to say what a joy it is to read these posts and find out all of you got better. Gives me hope. I'm making progress in my pelvic pain journey but get frustrated with myself for BEING frustrated, you know? I can't be happy when I'm just uncomfortable, even after being brought to my knees in pain so many times. I want to feel normal again dammit! Hearing that you both have achieved that and knowing that so many others have too is truly awesome.

I have to meditate a lot on the healing power of the body as I got a few "procedures" early on that probably did nothing bad, but were before I started feeling REALLY terrible so of course it was hard not to blame them--nothing like spinal surgery or anything, just some in-office hemorrhoid treatments as I was having rectal discomfort. Then a couple months after that I'm in my own personal hell of constant pain and no sleep. It's obvious that my TMS was growing and growing during that time as there's no real way to explain how a 5 minute office procedure could cause burning, stabbing, tingling, etc. all over my pelvic region from my groin to my rectum to my back to my legs weeks after the fact, but the horror story has been hard to banish from my mind. I suppose we all have our boogeymen in this process.

Regardless, so happy to hear you're better. And pleased to acknowledge I've made progress. It's still tough but I'm hopeful. I've had this pain for a little over a year and have only really understood TMS for a little over a month. Intense pain is getting rarer and rarer. Discomfort is more the issue. And I long for the day I forget to think about it.

Thank you for sharing your stories!
 
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