I just need to vent that motherhood is absolutely wretched at times. I have a 2.5 year old madman living with me, and my pain and symptoms can be so stubborn and relentless. I have to remember to think psychological. And what my psyche is saying is that parenthood often sucks! What makes it worse is that everyone around me (family mostly) seems to subscribe to the denying emotion-fearing madness that parenthood is just wonderful and kids are nothing but cute, or they don't dare admit the darker emotions that come up around this life stage. My son happens to be extremely cute lol, so everyone thinks that makes his epic sociopathic toddler behavior acceptable! Beauty is only skin deep! I remember Nicole Sachs saying in her book that writing down that she hated her children set her free. I so relate to that. I think all parents must relate to that, many are just afraid to be honest about those feelings. It's fascinating - even as I write this, I am afraid that by saying "I sometimes hate my toddler," I am going to be scolded on this forum, told I'm being a bad parent or that I am going to negatively affect my toddler. That voice in my head is so strong, and I project it onto the world! But I really do hate this toddler phase so much and I can't imagine having another freaking child, even though society says having one kid isn't enough! I hate society! lol. the added piece too, of wanting to be a loving mother, and really trying to be, especially because so much of my childhood was really hard emotionally and my parents struggled to be supportive. And the added piece of wanting a connection with my son, that is sometimes there and is sometimes not. He's never been a snuggly kid - just wants to play play play. Very independent. My little boy is also a late talker, so we're working on that. So much anxiety and fear comes up around that, also shame, even though he has been cleared of having any other Big issues. There is just so much pressure and fear around motherhood and doing it perfectly. I am scared of screwing him up. And my critical/fearful mind just will not relent in terms of raising him. Guilt if I let him watch TV, guilt and fear that it's my fault that he is behind in his expressive speech, guilt about everything. Also, absolute rage at the weather in Chicago (I am originally from LA) and being so cooped up right now. I guess I am wondering if any other parents/mothers on here can relate. And some words of encouragement. Feels good to express. Thanks!